Would you describe yourself as a gritty person? Courageous, determined, disciplined, passionate, full of perseverance? Most of us would probably want to be grittier and most parents want to raise children who embody these qualities. After reading Grit, the Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth, it is possible to develop grit in our kids, while strengthening our own.

The Latin meaning of parenting means to bring forth or to guide. One of our priorities as parents is to guide our children in values, qualities and experiences that will bring forth the type of human we hope they will become while respecting their unique strengths. Wise parenting encompasses a supportive and demanding style that allows children to fare much better in life (less anxiety, more independence, higher grades in school). *On page 214 of Grit, there is a parent test that you can take to assess if you are a wise parent. The qualities of grit you want to instill will be achieved easier in this warm, respectful environemnt.

But if we want our kids to be gritty, we need to take some time to self-reflect. How gritty are we, really? What do we model in daily decisions, career moves, and in typical social interactions? These small moments are in fact big! Watching how we persevere day in and day out speaks volumes. The language we use within our home and with one another will be used by our children. “I know you can do this because I have high expectations for you and I know what you are capable of,” will set the bar for excellence and challenge. Motivating and encouraging words will provide the necessary support for them to eventually be intrinsically motivated when hard times emerge. Grit can be grown for them inside out.

A big takeaway for me in this book was the power of surrounding your children with gritty people other than their parents. Look for supportive yet demanding coaches, connect with that teacher who challenges your child with the utmost care, and seek out friends who emulate grittiness whether in their jobs, life circumstances or in their positive outlook. These individuals will help grow grit from the outside in.

“To be gritty is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. To be gritty is to hold fast to an interesting and purposeful goal. To be gritty is to invest, day after week after year, in challenging practice. To be gritty is to fall down seven times, and rise eight” (275).

For our family, this book came at the most perfect time. My youngest started summer vacation with the excitement of dance camp, marine biology field study, and a biking adventure. Day 4 of summer resulted in an injury that left her on crutches and having to cancel all of her camps, yet she was not devastated. Life will bring surprises, many that you will not like. But you get up and keep going, taking an alternative route, which may in fact be even better! Her grit is developing and this summer will surely be a life lesson in how strong she is physically, mentally and emotionally…that’s my gritty girl!