I just got off the phone with one of my dearest friends…a 56-minute conversation! I poured myself a cup of coffee to chat. Then, I walked my dog, emptied my dishwasher, and drove to Costco all while chatting away. We talked about our kids’ school pictures and how they never come out great but we keep buying them, dilemmas of having our kids do activities that they love versus sticking out the ones they tolerate, updating on college tours, discussing doctor appointments, rationalizing how doing a private yoga class is SO worth the money because we need to take care of ourselves, which led to why do we have to justify scheduling time for ourselves in the first place to meal ideas, updates on ailing mothers-in-law, upcoming sibling/cousin visits which turned into current news from their lives, and ending with Thanksgiving plans and trying to figure out a time to get our families together because while we talk almost every day, we all haven’t gotten together in over a year.

But Yes, I talk to her almost every day. Crazy?! No, just our norm! We’ve been friends since 8th grade. We’ve been through life together: high school, proms, moving, boyfriends, college, grad school, teaching, husbands, houses, kids, dogs, illnesses, surgeries, deaths, mid-life ‘evaluations,’ pondering life’s big questions, motivating one another, laughing, crying, confiding, supporting, challenging, listening, and simply loving one another for what we each are over the last 32 years. And it’s a blessing I don’t take for granted. Not for one day!

I have one younger brother, 5 years younger. We are definitely close and always have been but there’s something about my soul sisters (girlfriends turned sisters by choice!). In fact, I have a few. One who I also talk with every other day is from 5th grade. There’s something about the history and connection that spans decades that is truly special. Over the years, we’ve lived in neighboring towns while raising our babies, then separated by states. But somehow not seeing one another in person doesn’t diminish the bond. It grows and strengthens over time and over life experiences. Even our kids pick up like they just saw one another because they know we are family. She’s the first to tell me when I’m being too controlling, unrealistic, or just need to stop thinking what I’m thinking. She’s also the first to give me a pat on the back, cheer me on, or help in anyway possible. She never misses a birthday (kids included), anniversary or special occasion. She drives HOURS to see me for my birthday every January and I know she wouldn’t have it any other way. That’s a soul sister: created out of love.

My third soul sister came later in life. In fact, I met her in person for the first time at my rehearsal dinner 20 years ago. Our husbands went to dental school together and upon meeting it was a destined friendship destined. We never lived near one another, yet we didn’t need to. Our life philosophies, future visions, and simple truths of our hearts were the same. Through heartache, professional achievements, relocations, and rediscovering pasts, we are there for one another. There’s no hiding, disguising, judging or pretending with my soul sisters…it’s authentic friendships. The easy, natural, meant-to-be kind.

As I’ve gotten older and moved away from home, away from where I had my babies, and started a new part of my life in a new state, I have met some incredible women. My ‘besties’ as they are affectionally called have become my family. I’ve raised my children alongside these women for the past 12 years and they’ve no doubt had an immeasurable impact on me and my family. These women are connected by faith, enriching my life in a myriad of ways. Walks, dinners, workouts, and ministries keep us connected, growing and maturing side by side. Having these women alongside through college, empty nesting, aging parents, midlife change of careers, and midlife change of body will make it all that more funny, manageable, attainable, and memorable.

I believe soul sisters come in different phases of your life for possible reasons unknown at the time. But they are chosen friends. True, authentic confidants. Silly, joyful playmates. Inseparable parts of your being where life wouldn’t be nearly as good without them. Treasured for a lifetime, one cup of coffee at a time.❤︎

My gift to you: celebrate your soul sisters. Let them know how special they are.