Category: Family

Who are your kids’ people?

Posted in Children, Christian, Family, Family coaching, frienship, Greek Orthodox Parenting, Joy, mindfulness, motherhood, Orthodox Parenting, parentingTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment

The African saying, ‘It takes a village to raise a child’ is so true and may ring even more true as they get older. My son graduated from high school a few weeks ago and had a ceremony at church honoring seniors. Our church pews were filled with people who watched our family grow and mature over the last 15 years. My husband and I observed our son greet fellow parishioners with heartfelt gratitude as they wished him well and showered him with blessings on his next phase in life.

We watched him shake hands with a man who has been his mentor as a Dj, offering business and life-advice, taking him under his wing. We saw him embrace a woman who has been his biggest cheerleader, encouraging him to continue being involved in the young adult Greek community in Boston. He hugged our priest, sharing a special moment as he has worked side-by-side on the altar serving in faith for many years.

At some point in the adolescent years, our kids listen better to others. It’s a normal part of their development and I saw how it can visibly be a positive source of support, motivation, and confidence building. These adults inevitably helped shape his course in life, helped mold his identity, and were vital in his maturing into the young man he has become. It does make you, as parents, realize just how essential it is to surround your children with people you respect, admire, and trust. It is these people your teens and young adults will emulate…know these people, believe in these people, love these people for they will do the same for your children.❤︎

Young adulting…family style

Posted in Family, Family coaching, mindfulness, motherhood, Orthodox Parenting, parenting, self-improvement, simply better yourselfTagged , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

The summer transition from independent, college student to at-home son or daughter, can take time to adjust to. Finding the rhythm of giving space, curfews, helping around the house, doing laundry as well as cooking and shopping for meals all takes time. There are new boundaries, varied expectations, and different roles to get comfortable in. It’s also a time to find new activities to do together. For our family, we got a family membership to a local gym. Now if this sounds like a win-win for everyone, it sure has been!

First of all, it’s an outing we all look forward to. One destination and typically one car–so that means great conversation time! Yet when we arrive at the gym, we all go our separate ways. My oldest is rehabbing from ACL and meniscus surgery so she follows her prescribed exercises. My middle loves tennis so he tries to join a round robin or a pickleball class. My husband heads straight for a cardio machine and I head to spin. It simply works! We’ve never been an ‘exercising family’ but this was a place for us to work on new skills, keeping healthy and getting stronger as a family as well as individually. And honestly, I’ve really enjoyed it!

This young adulthood phase during summer break is turning into a time for us to reconnect in a healthy way for all of us. Embracing how my older kids like to spend their time has given us a common focus, planned outings, and sore abs…oh, how I love my young adults! ❤︎

Come up with a list of new activities you can do with your young adults:

  • What do you enjoy doing in your spare time? Together and alone?
  • What’s fun to you as a family?
  • Where can you go together that’s a reasonable distance?
  • What can you each work on?
  • Where will you be excited to go?
  • How many days will you go together a week? For how many hours? Make a plan!

✺ Lauri is a certified life coach working with new grads on creating self-awareness and confidence in their unique selves navigating the space of young adulthood.

Advice to graduates…be true to yourself!

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We have another high school graduate in our home. It’s been a week filled with joy, 18 years of memories, sweet tears, and a full heart. I desperately try to live in the moment and not wish for years past. I savor the time I have with my young adult children and truly enjoy the changing nature of our relationships, watching them make the most of this phase.

And my one bit of advice to all graduates is always the same…be true to yourself. God created only ONE you; one unique, incredibly special you. Listen to your inner voice…what gives you joy? What are you drawn to? How do you like to spend your time?

Look at what you’re good at…these are your strengths; use them to help others, to find a career that’s fulfilling. Don’t shy away from things that come naturally but challenge yourself to grow further.

Be honest with yourself…what is hard for you? These are weaknesses that can be turned into gifts. Put hard work into making changes that better yourself. We all have areas that we need to work on so embrace them for they will make you stronger.

Your path will not look like anyone else’s and it shouldn’t. Be proud of that! Take quiet time alone to get to know your true self, pondering questions, planning actions to answers. Self-reflection is a normal part of human development and happens quite often throughout your life so get used to it. Enjoy the process, the metamorphosis…this one unique life that only you will live. ❤︎

Guiding Questions for Graduates: Set aside some quiet time and write down honest answers to these questions. This is a valuable way to learn more about your unique self.

  • How do I describe myself?
  • What do I like to do in my spare time? What are my hobbies?
  • What’s fun? What brings me happiness?
  • What do I find hard to do? What’s challenging for me?
  • When do I procrastinate? When am I excited to start something?
  • How do I handle stress?
  • What do I value? What’s important to me?
  • Who do I prioritize? Who do I go to for help or advice?
  • What motivates me? Inspires me?
  • Here is a list of my goals:
  • Where do I see myself in 6 months? 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

✺ Lauri is a certified life coach working with new grads on creating self-awareness and confidence in their unique selves navigating the space of young adulthood.

Giving his world a chance

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Last week, my son was home from school, resting on the couch watching anime. Several times I had wanted to comment that I thought he was wasting his brain watching cartoons but I went along with my tasks keeping my thoughts to myself. Finally, I came up with a question that wasn’t too critical or judgemental as I didn’t want him to necessarily be offended over something I didn’t understand.

“What draws you to this type of show?” I inquired.

“Mom, you would LOVE this show! It will make you cry!!” He enthusiastically shared.

Wow! That was not the response I was expecting…not at all. He went on to explain how this show, Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End, was about enjoying one’s journey through life when looking back; appreciating what you have and what each day has to offer; remembering that sometimes the most beautiful memories are the most simple (like a field of flowers); not taking people for granted.

I sat there stunned that my 18 year old spoke so eloquently and philosophically about a show I was quick to bawk at. Humbly, I sat on the couch next to him and watched. He was right…once I got past not comparing anime to a traditional cartoon but value it for a different genre, I moved past criticism and toward appreciation. I did enjoy the life lessons, excitedly anticipated the next scenes, and got teary eyed as I was ashamed it took me this long to lean into his world. His knee-jerk response was how he knew I would love it so why did I not open the door sooner? My son knows me very well and I should know his tastes in shows would reflect him as well. I can’t say anime is my new favorite thing, but when my boy is watching, I will be sure to get comfy alongside.

5,4,3,2,1 Do It!

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Have a child who procrastinates, gets sidetracked, loses track of time? Inspired by Mel Robbins’, The 5 Second Rule, I tried implementing the ‘countdown to action.’

When my son heads to his room to tidy up, he gets waylaid…Where does he start? How does he fit the clothes in his drawers? What does he toss? He winds up pacing around his room not able to even begin. Know the feeling?! Hence, the countdown to action was implemented! He counts down from 5 and then just acts! He doesn’t think, analyze, or compromise…he simply moves and starts completing one task. It’s the first action of movement that propels him to get started and consequently, keep going.

I find it helps with my own procrastination tendencies. Since I am home, there’s always laundry to do, dishes to load, leaves to rake, lists to be made and meals to prep. I put off my writing or easily get distracted, then get frustrated. Yet, the little act of counting down refocuses me, prioritizes the moment, and actually makes me much more productive.

Mel calls these these everyday acts of courage and they build up so that you can change your future. Sounds simple, right? What a powerful example for our children! Immediately acting gives you strength for the little things which leads to jumping into the bigger moments when in the past we may have run away.

5,4,3,2,1 Try it!

*Have your kids try it for starting homework

*Use it for organizing the garage

*Start a new cleanup routine after dinner where each family member takes on a task

*Write that email of forgiveness

*Apply for a job

*Make conversation with someone new

*Create an art project

*Enroll in grad school

“One moment of courage can change your day. One day can change your life. And your life can change the world.” -Mel Robbins

Fostering sibling connections as they get older

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Our family life is changing. Our oldest is a freshman at college, our middle will be heading off to college in 5 months and our youngest is in middle school. Our home feels different with one less child and the siblings feel the change too. While I talk to my college daughter every day, the others don’t. The older two text often as they share news of mutual friends, upcoming concerts, or restaurant recommendations. However, the daily discourse is missing. Days can go by with typical busy routines and no one checks in. And the youngest misses out the most. It’s not that anyone is doing it on purpose; it’s simply that life can get hectic and it may not be a top priority…until it is!

I’d say my biggest accomplishment is my family. Not only do we really love one another but we truly like each other! We enjoy spending time, we respect our different personalities, acknowledge our strengths, support one another with our struggles, and have fun together. But this has taken time and effort. It is work to make a family strong and I want my kids to know this! And if they value these relationships, they need to work at them. Now’s the time for them to learn how to foster their own relationships with one another…making the time, putting in the calls, scheduling dinners, remembering special events, giving words of encouragement, being there to listen, sharing funny stories, and continuing to love.

I feel like I’ve guided them to this point but will try really hard to step back and watch this next phase of their sibling journey and pray it is uniquely strong, supportive, loving and fun. ♥︎

Siblings stepping up to serve as examples to one another

Posted in Children, Family, Greek Orthodox Parenting, Happiness, Orthodox Parenting, Parenthood, parenting, self-improvement, simple joys, simply better yourself, the little momentsTagged , , , , , , , , Leave a comment
This is what causes me to get annoyed before school!
After seeing an older sibling’s room stay tidy, my youngest now starts her day like this!!

Nagging…who doesn’t get tired of hearing their own voices?

“Make your bed! Open your shades!!” I remind almost EVERY morning! I’ve tried multiple strategies, yet the beds don’t get made most days.

So today I tried something new….My middle was up and lounging on the couch for a few moments before he left for school. I happened to peek into his room and lo and behold the room was dark and the quilt and sheets were jumbled in a pile.

Instead of my usual rant, I calmly suggested, “Would you please set an example for your younger sister and get your room ready for the day?” Well, that boy let out a long, loud sigh but then he got right up and went to tidy his room. Siblings can be great teachers to one another and this was a way to use his positive influence. Because it is true…as a 17 year old young man, his 12 year old sister is looking to him to see what he does, how he talks, how he acts, what he prioritizes, when he does homework, when he’s on his phone, how he talks to his parents, if he puts his dishes in the dishwasher, how he does his chores, if he puts away his razor in the bathroom and if he makes his bed. He needs to realize that his actions are speaking loudly and influencing her at a very impressionable age as well. Wouldn’t you know, both beds were made, laundry was put away and shades were up!

Now let’s see how long this lasts…♥︎

Positive sibling influence can make your home a happier place for all!

Encourage your children to inspire one another with…

  • completing chores (without reminders is even better!!)
  • preparing for the day ahead (packing backpacks, lunchboxes)
  • starting homework after a snack or practice
  • keeping bedroom/bathroom organized
  • setting a timer to be on time for a sports practice or extracurriculur acitivities
  • choosing a nicer outfit for church
  • picking up the phone to call a grandparent

**Did you try this?? Share your stories with me at lauri@theessentialistfamily.com

What’s sweeter than candy for your kids on Valentine’s Day?

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Is Valentine’s Day really a holiday? How did we get caught up in buying overpriced flowers, needless candy, and $10 cards? Don’t get me wrong, I do stop at my local chocolatier and purchase a small piece for my kids and hope I get one too!! And there is much I do appreciate about February 14th… It’s a reminder to let people know how you feel about them. Reach out to those friends you haven’t checked in with for a while, write teachers a note of gratitude or do something thoughtful for those you love. Simply hug a little tighter, say “I love you” a lot more, and thoughtfully show your love.

This year, I wrote qualities that I admire about each of my children on heart-shaped sticky notes and put them on their bedroom doors. When they started their days, I wanted them to be reminded of why they are loved and what makes them special! At the end of the day, the candy wrappers will be thrown in the garbage, flowers wilted away, but I hope that the words of love and value will remain in their hearts for much longer. ♥︎

Why are Acts of Kindness Shocking?

Posted in Family, Orthodox Parenting, Parenthood, parenting, simply better yourself, the little moments, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Over February vacation, I took two of my kids down to Florida to visit family as a last-minute trip. Truth be told, my Uncle is not doing well and I wanted to be sure we could spend a little time with him. On the flight down, my son was sitting in the row in front of me next to an older gentleman. They struck up conversation about this man’s time in the army and subsequent defense work for 56 years. At the end of the flight, the gentleman asked my son if he could retrieve his bags from the overhead compartment. My son proceeded to offer to carry the bags off the plane as it was obvious that walking was difficult. It took a few moments for the gentleman to get himself out of the row and wobble out of the aircraft. There were several grunts and sighs from the people behind us, suggesting it was taking way too long for their liking. The gentleman even responded that he was sorry and I commented that he did not need to rush and could take his time. (Note here that I had just started reading, The Let Them Theory, by Mel Robbins, on this very flight and I was going to Let Them complain, moan, and roll their eyes and I was not going to rush this older man one little bit.).

Once we got this man settled into his wheelchair with his belongings, we bid farewell with smiles and a warm feeling of simply helping someone. I only hope I am in good health when I’m his age and can travel, “for business” as he was still doing. A fellow passenger stopped me and said I should be proud of my son as he saw the entire situation unfold. “He gave me faith that there’s still kindness in this world.” I was actually a tad taken aback. What had my son done? Get bags down from the overhead? Help lug bags off a plane? Be a friendly face to a man sitting next to him? Be patient?

Have we become a society in which normal graces and common manners are exceptions? Is being helpful to strangers rare? Is friendliness now seen as an act of kindness? How did this happen?????

Yes, I am proud of my son. Not necessarily for that particular moment but for all the moments that led up to this where it has become part of his being that he is helpful, kind, considerate, patient, selfless, and loving. He did not have to think in this moment whether or not to assist an older man; he simply acted on instinct, and acted with love. As we raise our children or even reflect on our own actions as adults, let’s remember that simple manners do go a long way and kindness should be a way of simply being. ♥︎

Fear not with love

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“There is no fear in love.” -John 4:18

What a comforting thought for our children… where there is love, there can not be fear. When we raise our children with unconditional love, they learn to conquer worries, face tribulations, and solve problems all while remaining confident of our support. Yes, at times, we may get angry or disapprove of their decisions, but we still love them. And it is this simple love that carries them through the good and bad, the hurt and sorrow, the scary and painful.

Lifelong Learning-setting the example

Posted in Family, goals, Happiness, Hobbies, Joy, Little Moments, parenting, self-improvement, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , Leave a comment
Nana’s newest project

I have always loved learning, loved school; that’s one of the main reasons I became a teacher. During my years as a homemom, I was always finding ways to better myself. I would take online seminars from my alma mater staying abreast the newest technology, I enrolled in a Life Coach certification program to gain insight into how to inspire others and I ALWAYS read! Reading continues to enlighten, guide and transform me in whatever season of life I’m in.

Recently, my 76-year-old mother took up knitting. She is a very accomplished croceter, but knitting was new. While she has found it challenging, she feels it’s ‘good for her brain’ to keep learning new things. And what an example she sets for me AND her grandchildren. They watch in awe as she patiently tries and retries to learn a new skill. She makes mistakes, gets better, gets frustrated but keeps going. It’s this lifelong learning that keeps her young in spirit, relevant, and simply happy. I can’t help but think of all the things she has learned over three-quarters of a century and how that has shaped this amazing person we call Nana. So for the sake of inspiring your children to simply be better, try something new yourself! Hmmm…I have an idea…

Love is a verb

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Husband & youngest daughter spending time together

This past Sunday at Church, our Deacon enlightened the children that love is a verb. Think about that for a minute…love is an action; it’s something you do, say, show. I couldn’t help but think what an important reminder for adults too. Imagine if we all showed affection more often, spoke kind words more than others, and did small acts of lovingkindness throughout our days. Treating love as an action to our children will encourage them to reciprocate it not only to the family but to those all around. Now that’s something to pass on…❤︎

5 Ways to Show Love to Your Kids

  • leave “Just Because I Love You” notes in lunchboxes, in sport bags, on bathroom mirrors, on pillows
  • give a hug & kiss, cuddle up, walk arm-in-arm,
  • say, “I love you!” “You mean SO much to me!” “I’m very lucky to have you!”
  • make their favorite meal, snack or dessert
  • plan one-on-one time together (neighborhood walk, bike ride, trip to the mall, ice cream outing, board game)

Will You Forgive Me?

Posted in Children, Christian, Family, forgiveness, Happiness, Joy, Little Moments, motherhood, Orthodox Parenting, parentingTagged , , , , , Leave a comment
Taken by my oldest at sunrise at
Mayflower Beach on Cape Cod

One of the most powerful ways I have connected with my children is asking for their forgiveness. Will you forgive me? These four little words have deepened our relationships, fostered greater respect and heightened awareness of the importance of acknowledging when we make mistakes. Teaching my children to say, “I’m sorry” when they were younger was a critical first step in developing empathy and taking ownership of wrongdoing. However, as they got older, I found that they were quick to respond but wondered if they really meant it. Asking for forgiveness allows them to pause and reflect on what actually happened. It also gives a voice to the one who was wronged. There have been times when I was asked to forgive and with an open heart I shared, “Of course, but I need a moment.” Forgiving shows unconditional love but it also validifies the feeling of disappointment and the acceptable need to calmly regroup and move on. This entry is brief…Will you forgive me?❤︎

Everyday Inspiration in New England

Posted in Christian, Family, Joy, Little Moments, mindfulness, Orthodox Parenting, parenting, scripture, simple joys, simply better yourselfTagged , , , , , , Leave a comment

Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.

-Isaiah 26:4

Scituate, MA