Category: Family

90 Day Challenge

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I bet you’ve heard it takes 21 days to create a new habit. But did you know that it takes 90 days to make the new habit permanent? There are 90 days from Sept 25th to Christmas Eve. What a great time to create the new habit you’ve been thinking of or putting off. What have you been wanting to start with your family? One meal a day together? Family walks? Face Timing grandparents? Writing in a family gratitude journal? Giving thanks at meals? Think about one simple change you can all make or one activity you can add and commit the next 90 days to fulfilling it. Keep a calendar to mark off your family’s progress as you count down to 12/24. Celebrate small wins along the way such as creating a family cheer at week 1 or throwing confetti at week 4. Leave one another notes of encouragement along the way. Thank your family members for being positive, motivating and supportive. Days may be rough and you may skip a day or two. Don’t get discouraged. That’s when the power of family comes into play and you get through it together. Keep the end in mind and focus on strategies that help when the going gets tough! Make sure you celebrate big on Christmas Eve! This process will be a huge life lesson for your kids…creating positive change with loved ones by your side. And a new yearly tradition may have started too❤︎

What will your family take on in the next 90 days?

Yes, I Want My Kids to Fall (And Get Back UP)

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We are living in a helicopter parenting world. Parents hovering, making sure bad things don’t happen to their kids, choreographing every activity, curating playdates, and dismissing free-time as an important part of childhood. I have have found myself caught up in this protective cycle. But as my kids are getting older, I realize I need to prepare them for the real world…the one where I am not always around!! It doesn’t mean I will let them struggle alone, but instead by their side. I will struggle along with them providing coping skills, strategies and support so that when they fall, they get back up!

Our kids are going to face criticism, failure, and exclusion. It is hard to go through even as adults and even harder to watch our own children withstand less than ideal circumstances. But real life problems can be a positive. Walking the path of life together with our children allows us to use struggles as teachable moments. How can we best respond to being left off the JV Team? What can we do when we were excluded from a ‘best’ friends’ party? Where do we turn when a teacher keeps giving a B- even though you’re fulfilling all the boxes on the class rubric? These struggles provide opportunities for discussion, decision making, responding to emotions, asking for help, considering various options, and reflecting on what can be learned in these moments of disappointment.

How can I best prepare my teens for the impending real world? By letting them fall. While I’ll be by their sides for now, I hope they’ll soon be able to dust themselves off and get back up again all on their own!

Books to Read That Discuss the Importance of Struggle:

The Blessing of a B-, by Wendy Mogel

Parenting Toward the Kingdom, by Philip Mamalakis

I believe sharing experiences and learning new strategies are the ways we better ourselves as parents. If you think this blog will help other families on their journey of parenthood, please share the link. It takes a community to raise our kids and live simply happier.❤︎

Check out my new Facebook page!

https://www.facebook.com/The-Essentialist-Family

Advice to My Younger Self…Buy the Mini-van!

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Now that I’m in my mid40s, there are SO many things I wish I had done sooner! They say wisdom comes with age and I am definitely seeing that. Studies also show that woman are happier as they age. If anything, I see a confidence and contentment emerge that I didn’t necessarily have before. I had my first two children less than 1 1/2 years apart just when I hit 30. Life was busy and I was totally immersed in the toddler years then preschools years for what seemed like ages. Several of my friends had mini-vans and I was in awe of the space, all the cup holders, and automatic doors. Yet, I couldn’t bring myself to buy one. I had this “never” list in my head…never get a dog, never have more the 2 kids, and never, ever get a mini-van. Not sure how this mantra started but I stuck to it for years. Was I afraid to get older? What would happen if I altered this self-perception? Life was good with a Honda Accord, which turned into a Ford Explorer as we wanted more room. Life was incredible with two kids, but a yearning was there for more. Wouldn’t a dog be a great companion for our family even when I subconsciously knew I’d be the one letting it out, taking it on walks, scheduling vet and grooming appointments? Well, mid30s came and a third baby blessed our family. A few years later, our goldendoodle arrived. And yes, it’s true, I now happily and enthusiastically drive a min-van! What took me SO long?!! There’s so much space. And cup holders and storage galore. And a DVD to quiet those kids for the ‘are we there yet’ trips!! And as my son becomes a young man at 5ft 9in and growing, he has plenty of legroom anywhere he decides to sit. Seven high school sailors with lifejackets and gear off to a regatta? I’ll drive! (Which is awesome because I get to spend time with my teenagers and their friends since I can fit everyone…comfortably!) Oh, and the dog can spread out easily when I take out one of the middle seats-dog bed included! Essentially, it’s a mini-moving van that is going to come in real handy when packing up for college, which will be here before I know it. Now I’m not so sure I can live without the mini-van. I may never want to live without a mini-van as I have lived on the other side of the automatic doors. My new life mantra is, “Never Say Never” because some of life’s greatest blessings are the ones we never imagine. However, I will admit, when I am stopped in front of a store with mirrored glass and I catch a glimpse of a woman sitting in the driver’s seat, it still takes a second to realize it’s me. ❤︎

I believe sharing experiences and learning new strategies are the ways we better ourselves as parents. If you think this blog will help other families on their journey of parenthood, please share the link. It takes a community to raise our kids and live simply happier.❤︎

Check out my new Facebook page!

https://www.facebook.com/The-Essentialist-Family-108873438349096