Yes, life has big moments that are to be celebrated. But there are many, many little moments in between. And somehow we forget that these little ones are really important. Cheers to pausing and noting all the little things in our lives that are so very essential to our happiness…
✹chosen friends that become family
✹backyard bbqs
✹a sunny day
✹impromptu cornhole tournament
✹dance party in the kitchen bc a good song came on
✹a beach day!
✹empty day on the calendar
✹long weekend
✹long-overdue catch-up phone call
✹family walk
✹unexpected visit
✹good book
✹new recipe that becomes a family favorite
✹surprise flower delivery
✹tiring workout
✹s’mores by the outdoor fireplace to end the night
Last week, my son was home from school, resting on the couch watching anime. Several times I had wanted to comment that I thought he was wasting his brain watching cartoons but I went along with my tasks keeping my thoughts to myself. Finally, I came up with a question that wasn’t too critical or judgemental as I didn’t want him to necessarily be offended over something I didn’t understand.
“What draws you to this type of show?” I inquired.
“Mom, you would LOVE this show! It will make you cry!!” He enthusiastically shared.
Wow! That was not the response I was expecting…not at all. He went on to explain how this show, Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End, was about enjoying one’s journey through life when looking back; appreciating what you have and what each day has to offer; remembering that sometimes the most beautiful memories are the most simple (like a field of flowers); not taking people for granted.
I sat there stunned that my 18 year old spoke so eloquently and philosophically about a show I was quick to bawk at. Humbly, I sat on the couch next to him and watched. He was right…once I got past not comparing anime to a traditional cartoon but value it for a different genre, I moved past criticism and toward appreciation. I did enjoy the life lessons, excitedly anticipated the next scenes, and got teary eyed as I was ashamed it took me this long to lean into his world. His knee-jerk response was how he knew I would love it so why did I not open the door sooner? My son knows me very well and I should know his tastes in shows would reflect him as well. I can’t say anime is my new favorite thing, but when my boy is watching, I will be sure to get comfy alongside.
This is what causes me to get annoyed before school!After seeing an older sibling’s room stay tidy, my youngest now starts her day like this!!
Nagging…who doesn’t get tired of hearing their own voices?
“Make your bed! Open your shades!!” I remind almost EVERY morning! I’ve tried multiple strategies, yet the beds don’t get made most days.
So today I tried something new….My middle was up and lounging on the couch for a few moments before he left for school. I happened to peek into his room and lo and behold the room was dark and the quilt and sheets were jumbled in a pile.
Instead of my usual rant, I calmly suggested, “Would you please set an example for your younger sister and get your room ready for the day?” Well, that boy let out a long, loud sigh but then he got right up and went to tidy his room. Siblings can be great teachers to one another and this was a way to use his positive influence. Because it is true…as a 17 year old young man, his 12 year old sister is looking to him to see what he does, how he talks, how he acts, what he prioritizes, when he does homework, when he’s on his phone, how he talks to his parents, if he puts his dishes in the dishwasher, how he does his chores, if he puts away his razor in the bathroom and if he makes his bed. He needs to realize that his actions are speaking loudly and influencing her at a very impressionable age as well. Wouldn’t you know, both beds were made, laundry was put away and shades were up!
Now let’s see how long this lasts…♥︎
Positive sibling influence can make your home a happier place for all!
Encourage your children to inspire one another with…
completing chores (without reminders is even better!!)
preparing for the day ahead (packing backpacks, lunchboxes)
starting homework after a snack or practice
keeping bedroom/bathroom organized
setting a timer to be on time for a sports practice or extracurriculur acitivities
choosing a nicer outfit for church
picking up the phone to call a grandparent
**Did you try this?? Share your stories with me at lauri@theessentialistfamily.com
Cheers to a new year of simply bettering yourself!
I’ve been MIA…sorry! Life happens and sometimes not in a good way. I herniated a disc in my back months ago and it took a long time to feel well enough to even want to write again. The pain was tremendous and effected every facet of my life. Yet through it all, I prayed…
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”Psalm 46:1.
I have come to see that years of putting off taking care of myself is wrong. It hurts myself and my family and there is no excuse. I am blessed with good health and function, yet I take it for granted. I believe I got injured for a reason. I needed pain to stop being in the cycle of taking care of everyone around me before I even thought about what I needed. I stopped needlessly worrying about mundane tasks, unimportant events, and unfulfilling relationships. I focused on what was essential to me and my loved ones.
One of my realizations was that now was the time to simply better myself…little steps each day to physically, spiritually and emotionally make me a stronger person. First up was starting my day with inspiration. Before I got out of bed, I read my devotional, wrote about the things I was grateful for, even when first thoughts were self-pity, anger and disappointment. Yet, I did encourage myself to dig deeper. look wide-eyed around me for all the goodness. Next, I was able to focus on my health…a 10-minute routine from my physical therapist on stretching my body is now what I do before I leave the house! This simple new habit led to joining a local gym so I could get into a warm therapy pool to ease the pain and foster healing even more. Now, I can say I’m a gym-regular and can’t imagine my days without it!! Why do bad things need to happen for us to truly focus on what’s important? I have worn out my emotional ‘battery’ on minutia for years and I am trying to stop because it is truly not worth it.
So, why am I telling you all this?? Because I want you to
Simply Better Yourself!
Seek out 1 small, easy way to make today better for yourself…not for others, but for you! Will you eat a healthier snack, go for a walk instead of watching TV, call a friend to catch up, sign up for that yoga class you’ve been dreaming about, or make a home-cooked meal instead of eating out? What is 1 thing you can do right now to Simply Better Yourself? I am definitely stronger, happier and healthier due to the little changes I strive to make each day. Will you join me?!! ♥︎
“You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy.” -Psalm 16:11
How many times have you questioned what you are doing in life? Career? Relationships?
The other morning, I was walking with a friend and mentioned how I felt I wasn’t fully content. I felt I was being guided to do something new…again! She simply shrugged and said, “Welcome to life!” Many of us have this feeling of evolution or re-evaluation and it may not be part of our own ‘plan.’ But then I realize, this life isn’t my plan alone…God has a plan for my unique journey, more miraculous than I can imagine. So on the days life is tougher than I’d like, I remember it’s all part of His path for me. This calms me, focuses my worried brain, and helps me embrace the phase I’m in knowing it’s all taken care of. My heart can be happy because a road has already been paved and I can enjoy the ride.
“Do not love the world or anything in the world.” -John 2:15
Enjoying a rare sighting of the Northern Lights from our home in New England.
I have two teenagers and a tween. Keeping them focused on what truly matters takes work. It’s a constant conversation about the newest iPhones, stylish clothes, trendy shows. Fortunately, I was never ‘hip’ when it came to that stuff. I always liked to go to bed early so never stayed up to watch the most talked about shows. My mom didn’t have money to splurge on popular clothing items so it wasn’t even an option. This carried me into adulthood with not wanting a lot of worldly items or staying current on pop culture. It just wasn’t important to me. Fast forward to parenthood and I have kids who hear about lots of things that I don’t find essential. But do they? Living by example hopefully encourages them to reflect on what’s truly vital in living a full, joyous life. What I do know for sure is that they value our family, our faith, serving others, helping one another, having fun a the beach, cooking together, constructing puzzles, taking hikes, and cuddling with our dog. And these are most worldly to me.
What a comforting thought for our children… where there is love, there can not be fear. When we raise our children with unconditional love, they learn to conquer worries, face tribulations, and solve problems all while remaining confident of our support. Yes, at times, we may get angry or disapprove of their decisions, but we still love them. And it is this simple love that carries them through the good and bad, the hurt and sorrow, the scary and painful.
I have always loved learning, loved school; that’s one of the main reasons I became a teacher. During my years as a homemom, I was always finding ways to better myself. I would take online seminars from my alma mater staying abreast the newest technology, I enrolled in a Life Coach certification program to gain insight into how to inspire others and I ALWAYS read! Reading continues to enlighten, guide and transform me in whatever season of life I’m in.
Recently, my 76-year-old mother took up knitting. She is a very accomplished croceter, but knitting was new. While she has found it challenging, she feels it’s ‘good for her brain’ to keep learning new things. And what an example she sets for me AND her grandchildren. They watch in awe as she patiently tries and retries to learn a new skill. She makes mistakes, gets better, gets frustrated but keeps going. It’s this lifelong learning that keeps her young in spirit, relevant, and simply happy. I can’t help but think of all the things she has learned over three-quarters of a century and how that has shaped this amazing person we call Nana. So for the sake of inspiring your children to simply be better, try something new yourself! Hmmm…I have an idea…
Husband & youngest daughter spending time together
This past Sunday at Church, our Deacon enlightened the children that love is a verb. Think about that for a minute…love is an action; it’s something you do, say, show. I couldn’t help but think what an important reminder for adults too. Imagine if we all showed affection more often, spoke kind words more than others, and did small acts of lovingkindness throughout our days. Treating love as an action to our children will encourage them to reciprocate it not only to the family but to those all around. Now that’s something to pass on…❤︎
5 Ways to Show Love to Your Kids
leave “Just Because I Love You” notes in lunchboxes, in sport bags, on bathroom mirrors, on pillows
give a hug & kiss, cuddle up, walk arm-in-arm,
say, “I love you!” “You mean SO much to me!” “I’m very lucky to have you!”
make their favorite meal, snack or dessert
plan one-on-one time together (neighborhood walk, bike ride, trip to the mall, ice cream outing, board game)
One of my dearest childhood friends lives in SoJo (Southern New Jersey). It’s a wonderful community; one in which I lived for years. I speak to this friend quite often because we fill each other in on all of life’s moments: big and small, happy and sad, disappointing and surprising, mundane and extraordinary. When she answered my call the other morning, I knew in an instant that something in her voice was off. She was not ok. I listened to her share, comforting, and reassuring that I’m here even though so very far away. When my kids were little, I would hum the song, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” to ease worries and remind them of my unceasing love. It was obvious that my sweet friend needed some sunshine so I sent her sunflowers. It took me no time at all to find a bouquet and have it delivered the very next day, all thanks to Costco. It was a little reminder that sending sunshine is sometimes just what loved ones need. ❤︎
Taken by my oldest at sunrise at Mayflower Beach on Cape Cod
One of the most powerful ways I have connected with my children is asking for their forgiveness. Will you forgive me? These four little words have deepened our relationships, fostered greater respect and heightened awareness of the importance of acknowledging when we make mistakes. Teaching my children to say, “I’m sorry” when they were younger was a critical first step in developing empathy and taking ownership of wrongdoing. However, as they got older, I found that they were quick to respond but wondered if they really meant it. Asking for forgiveness allows them to pause and reflect on what actually happened. It also gives a voice to the one who was wronged. There have been times when I was asked to forgive and with an open heart I shared, “Of course, but I need a moment.” Forgiving shows unconditional love but it also validifies the feeling of disappointment and the acceptable need to calmly regroup and move on. This entry is brief…Will you forgive me?❤︎
Do you ever put off what really needs to be done with other simple, mindless or even pleasant activities? I have come to realize that I do it a lot when it’s time to exercise! I find myself putting in another load of laundry, or organizing the linen closet or sweeping the garage. I definitely get sidetracked but I recently learned that what I do has a name… productive procrastination. This doesn’t mean that because it has a name, it’s ok to put off exercising. In fact, it has had the opposite effect! Now I realize what I’m doing…color-coding our monthly calendar can wait until I strength train for 45 minutes! And guess what? The calendar still gets done and I feel stronger, physically and mentally! So, the next time you put off doing that thing that you don’t really like doing…..pause…. and think about how your productive procrastination isn’t that beneficial. Call yourself out on it and then get the real job done!!
the Essentialist Family 