Will You Forgive Me?

Taken by my oldest at sunrise at
Mayflower Beach on Cape Cod

One of the most powerful ways I have connected with my children is asking for their forgiveness. Will you forgive me? These four little words have deepened our relationships, fostered greater respect and heightened awareness of the importance of acknowledging when we make mistakes. Teaching my children to say, “I’m sorry” when they were younger was a critical first step in developing empathy and taking ownership of wrongdoing. However, as they got older, I found that they were quick to respond but wondered if they really meant it. Asking for forgiveness allows them to pause and reflect on what actually happened. It also gives a voice to the one who was wronged. There have been times when I was asked to forgive and with an open heart I shared, “Of course, but I need a moment.” Forgiving shows unconditional love but it also validifies the feeling of disappointment and the acceptable need to calmly regroup and move on. This entry is brief…Will you forgive me?❤︎

Everyday Inspiration in New England

Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.

-Isaiah 26:4

Scituate, MA

Do you want me to listen or give advice?

3 swans in Nantucket Sound

I like to talk things out. I’m an advice-giver. I am a problem-solver. I seek solutions. But sometimes my kids don’t appreciate these qualities. And they are exactly right! While these characteristics can be good, they are not always helpful. Raising teens is a whole new ball game in parenting. My role and strategies have evolved in this season of childrearing. One of the best tips I received was when my kids come to me about a troubling issue I ask, “Do you want me to listen or give advice?” This has worked wonders! In the past, I would tend to offer advice, since that’s my personality, and a teen would stomp off in frustration because that was not what she was looking for. While she didn’t know exactly what she wanted, it was not necessarily a cure. Listening has wound up being more helpful and what they need in many difficult situations. I undermined their coping skills by trying to fix the problems with my own perspective and my own solutions. I am not surprised to discover that they have amazing foresight, conflict resolution skills and simply good heads on their shoulders. What I find is they need an unbiased ear to listen, an unconditional hug to soothe, and a simple smile to assure them I’m always here. Sometimes my best advice is none at all.❤︎

The Love Langauge of After-School Snacks

Yummy banana apple bread

I recently took a pause from working out of the home and am back home-momming, as my kids call it. And do you know one of the first things they got excited about? After-school snacks! Unbeknownst to me, I hadn’t really planned ahead for food when we all got home in the afternoon. It was a free-for-all of grabbing something from the fridge or pantry. But I never thought too much about it because life at 3:30pm was a craze and survival mode said, “all left to their own food choices.” Apparently, my kids didn’t appreciate this. They had most looked forward to a homemade treat. I realized that while they did like creative alternatives to the bag of Smartfood or apple and peanut butter, it was more about the time we spent talking while eating the snack together. The grab-and-go option wasn’t as fulfilling emotionally since it didn’t make us slow down together and debrief about our days. Now that I’m home-momming 2.0, I can’t help but exercise my baking skills more often. It’s not the homemade options necessarily that show love, it’s the time and effort I make for a few moments in the afternoon, sitting at our kitchen island sharing, laughing, and comforting. However, homemade banana apple muffins warm out of the oven never hurt (see recipe below). ❤︎

I made 1 dozen muffins then used remaining batter for a bread
Here’s the recipe from the Sept 2024 Costco Connection magazine
(Instead of 2 bananas, I substituted one with apple sauce; I used whole what flour instead of all-purpose; I replaced 3 cups of apples with 3 whole apples.)

Surprise notes… from my kids!

What goes around comes around!

I try to leave my kiddos notes to show them I’m thinking of them, loving them, praying for them. These notes go into lunch boxes, taped to bathroom mirrors and even hidden in suitcases. But to my surprise, I get notes too! A simple message to show they are thinking of me and it means way more than they could imagine. “Have a great day,” was secretly written on my office calendar by my eldest daughter, brightening my day and my heart immeasurably.

And I usually don’t think they’re listening to me, but they’re definitely watching.❤️

The sweetness of a cookie jar

One of my most beloved heirlooms is my mother’s Fanny Farmer cookbook! My go-to, never disappoint assortment of recipes sure to delight all! Summer vacation allows time to get back to baking much more frequently than the school year. Out comes our cookie jar and smiles abound knowing that a sweet treat awaits.

Today’s recipe: Cape Cod Oatmeal Cookies! Yum! What makes them different… molasses! It’s totally worth buying a container even though you don’t use much. These may quickly replace your traditional oatmeal cookie forever!

Cape Cod Oatmeal Cookies

Preheat oven 350

Sift:

1 1/2c flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1 1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp salt

Stir in:

1 beaten egg

1c sugar

1/2c melted butter

1tbs molasses

1/4c whole milk

1 3/4c oatmeal

1c raisins and/or walnuts

Place on greased cookie sheet by teaspoonfuls and bake until edges are lightly brown (approx 12 mins).

Now you can fill that cookie jar and watch the smiles grow. Enjoy!

Pulling the weeds

Several summers ago I herniated a disc in my back doing what I love… gardening. Since then, the joy of tending to my flowers ceased. The pain radiating down my leg turned off my desire to garden for a very long time. I watched as weeds overtook beds that I had carefully maintained, curated for years. I hired someone to weed a few times a season but it was not the same as my daily love of the flowers that brought much happiness. It was easier to not look at my yard, not spend time there, disregard it.

That changed this summer and I can’t tell you why. A stirring in me perhaps to move forward, yet back to what I love but have put to the side. It’s been hard, sweat-filled, dirt-covered work and I loved every minute. Yes, I garden differently now, carefully bending with my legs, short bursts of time, not feeling the pressure to do it all at once. Instead, I’ve started the regrowth of my garden, slowly, removing weeds one by one. It’s beginning to flourish right before my grateful eyes. Maybe I’m reblooming too.

Daily Thanksgiving

“Joy is the realest reality, the fullest life, and joy is always given, never grasped. God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: joy.” 57

What a simple gift to give ourselves and our children: the power of giving thanks. With continual thanksgiving, joy flows, worries lessen, internal peace comforts. Feel joy, share joy, give thanks.

Surrounded by Scripture

I recently discovered artist and inspirational author, Emily Lex. My mother let me borrow her copy of Emily’s book, Freely and Lightly. I read it in a few days, not wanting to put it down, soaking up all the honest feelings, reflections, wisdom, and heart. Her choice of Scriptures resonated with me along with the simple, everyday objects she paints. I ordered her simple and beautiful everyday Truth for Today cards and display them around our home for my family to read, remember, and reflect on. Their honest beauty of words and art fill our home with His presence even in the most unexpected places.

As you can imagine, I bought my own copy of Freely and Lightly!

*Check out Emily’s site to add inspiration to your days.

https://emilylex.com/

Team F💜mily!

These rules hang in our home as a reminder of how we want to be as a family.

Our family is a team! We work together, help one another, challenge, support, coach, comfort and want to be the best we can be.

Our team mindset considers our family as a collective unit, shaping our decisions, plans, words, and actions. Doing household chores becomes working together to make our home the place we love. Helping unload groceries becomes many hands make light work. Reminders are simply, “Come help!” Because that’s what teammates do!

We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders and our team is strengthened by this commitment to one another. So celebrate your one and only amazing family and have fun together… Go f💜mily!

Sprinkling Beauty

I enjoy adding flowers to spaces in our home. Our powder room gets a ton of use since it’s right off our kitchen. Here’s a bloom from my garden, which adds a simple delight for any visitor. It’s these little things that my kids notice and enjoy…it’s what makes our house a home.

Stop Asking High Schoolers, “What do you want to do?”

My oldest just graduated high school. The first round of questions from family, friends, acquaintances and strangers alike was, “Where are you going to college?” The second question was, “What do you want to do?” The implication is what will you study and more indirectly, what job do you want.

The reality is most 17 & 18 yr olds have no idea what they’re going to do. How many adults still don’t either?! So I’ve come to realize it’s more helpful and pleasant to ask, “What are you currently interested in?” or “What classes may spark your curiosity?” Then you make these young adults more comfortable with the next phase of their lives focused on discovering strengths, passions, and paths they never dreamed of.

And please don’t ask me what I want to do when I grow up because I’m still figuring it out!❤️

A Lighthouse

West Chop, Martha’s Vineyard

There’s something about lighthouses that attracts people…

Bold beacons guiding the way safely home.

Who’s the lighthouse in your life?

Perfectly Imperfect

Family sculpture, Oaks Bluff Martha’s Vineyard

My friend, Lori, teasingly points out all the times I feel moments are, “Perfect.” How’s the weather? Perfect. How’s your coffee? Perfect. How’s vacation? Perfect. I didn’t realize how often I said it but then I thought about what it meant. The Oxford dictionary defines perfect as ‘having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.’ So when I am sitting on a beach, under an umbrella, watching my kids play in the water, the moment to me is perfect. Each of our own criteria for perfection differs so my ideal beach day may be a flop to you.

I realized I’m also quick to capture a perfect moment; not necessarily a whole day but a little snapshot, in the moment kind of way. I’ve come to appreciate those little things that truly are most important…when my husband grabs hold of my hand as we walk the dog through our neighborhood- prefect. When I see my youngest crocheting alongside her nana- prefect.

So, is my life perfect? Absolutely not!! I’m perfectly imperfect right alongside my perfectly imperfect children, husband, and dog. But all our perfectly imperfect moments make me cherish this one and unique life that has been given to me. And that is simply perfect!❤️