Category: parenting

Morning Calm

Posted in Family, Greek Orthodox Parenting, Happiness, motherhood, Orthodoxy Parenting, parentingTagged , , Leave a comment
Thoughtfulls For Kids from Live-Inspired.com

“Our life depends on the kind of thoughts we nurture. If our thoughts are peaceful, calm, meek, and kind, then that is what our life is like.”
― Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica, Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives: The Life and Teachings of Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica

School mornings can be hectic….fights for the bathroom, trying to bag healthy snacks and lunches, looking for homework that the dog may have eaten (this actually did happen in our house)…let the mayhem begin! But, you don’t have to start your day in a craze! Try these family-tested tips to make your mornings calmer and happier:

  1. Wake up with soothing music. Who enjoys having a blaring siren abruptly wake them from a sound sleep? No one! Set your alarm to a soft, soothing ringtone or play a classical song. Jazz may be the genre that makes you feel calm, so try playing it for your kids. Continue playing music while the kids make their beds, get dressed, and mosey their way to the kitchen to eat. Over time, they will register the soft, relaxing tunes with a calm, morning routine. (Read my latest post about lighting a scented candle to create more peace as well!)
  2. Set alarms earlier than needed. Alarms are a useful tool. They also decrease nagging done by parents. Teach your children to give themselves more time than they think they need to get ready in the morning. They will feel less rushed and can mentally handle the tasks at hand all in a more positive manner. Add different alarms for various tasks for instance a “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” to wake up then a twinkling sound to start getting dressed followed by a chime to head downstairs for breakfast.
  3. Display a schedule. Children need and like structure. Having a bulletin board, wipe-off board or calendar in a highly visible area such as the kitchen, is a great way to let your kids know what’s on the agenda for the day. Soccer practice at 4pm…What needs to be packed? After-school daycare….pack an extra snack. Not only are they mentally prepared for the day, but they can take an active role in getting themselves ready. Make the charts interactive so they physically have to check off a completed task and are ready to go!
  4. Leave a HAPPY note. Who doesn’t like to get a surprise note as a reminder that someone is thinking of them? Take a few minutes to write your kids a special note of love, a smiley face or an inspiring quote. Stick it on the bathroom mirror, put it in their shoe, or hide it in their backpack. Positive vibes will surely follow.
  5. Take deep breaths. When things are hectic, take a moment and take a deep breath. Have your children follow suit. It will supply the brain with fresh oxygen, provide a moment to pause and allow you to move on in a less crazed manner. Ahhhhhh!
  6. Say a prayer. Before your family goes off in their own direction, take a moment to pray. Recall a prayer that’s inspirational to your family, give thanks, ask for guidance, or simply keep someone else in your thoughts. You set the tone of your home, so remain at peace yourself and calm will follow❤︎

Some mornings will no doubt be better than others. But a 100% success rate is probably not possible! Set reasonable expectations with a reasonable timeline and you’ll be happily surprised how much smoother and calmer your days begin.

Book Takeaway: Joyful, the Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness

Posted in Family, Happiness, Joy, parentingTagged , Leave a comment

March is National Reading Month so why not have a list of parenting books to have by your side for guidance, support and inspiration. This month’s blogs will focus on books I have on my shelf.❤︎

Slowing down, enjoying the simpler moments in our daily lives is a mission here at The Essentialist Family. I try to inspire other families to do just that! Months ago, I read Ingrid Fetell Lee’s, Joyful, The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness.  I can’t help but think if others read this, maybe they’ll notice the joy that surrounds each of us in the most basic ways.  Finding moments of joy with everyday objects can make us smile and will make long days a little brighter.    Fill your home with photos of family trips and adventures. Display those art projects from school instead of tossing or storing them in a bin. I use blue painter’s tape to stick drawings on our pantry door-instant smiles! My oldest is painting canvases in a fury so I stood them up along the wainscoting in our dining room for instant art for all to admire. As a family, we collect seas shells and rocks in the shape of hearts. We place them in glass jars, along windowsills and even on my writing desk to remind me of happy trips to different beaches. Even in a rough moment, a glance at those shells restores my peace and makes me smile.

Joy is individual-what gives me happiness, is not what brings you contentment.  Lee takes readers on a  journey of self-discovery; acknowledging joy in everyday pleasures or in the mundane.  “The problem is that without joy, we may be surviving, but we are not thriving.  If we rarely laugh or play, if we never have glimpses of magic or flashes of transcendence or bursts of celebration, then no matter how well fed and comfortable we are, we are not truly alive.”  Her Joyful Tooklit provides a step-by-step guide of joyfinding.  Couldn’t we all use a little more of joyfinding in our lives?! I’m not sure there’s a better activity to build connections with your loved ones but to discover what brings you joy together. Going on nature walks, taste-testing local ice cream, training for a 5K, serving lunch at a meal center, learning a new language, building a row boat or cooking for another family are all fun ways to discover joy. So, gather up your family and go joyfinding. ❤︎

Don’t forget to share what you discovered on Facebook at Lauri Diamantis. And kindly follow this blog for more tips of living Simply Happier❤︎

Our Piano Lives in the Foyer

Posted in Children, Family, Happiness, Hobbies, parentingTagged , , , Leave a comment

When you have kids, things don’t go as planned. The sooner you realize it, the easier time you’ll have. For me, I have come to learn that my home isn’t really mine at all. It belongs to my kids! Early on, the dining room was a playroom. The office was an art center. Half the kitchen housed a toy kitchen, kid sized table, and of course, a doll highchair. Our garage became stroller then tricycle now bicycle central. Add all the balls, beach toys, snow sleds and we are lucky to get our car into it. Yet, our home functions remarkably well because we adjust our environment to the ever-changing developmental stages of our three kids. Who needs a formal dining room anyway when you practically live in your kitchen?

When we moved into our current home over 12 years ago, we were bequeathed my mother’s piano. Movers placed it into our formal living room since there really wasn’t another space for it and there it sat. Occasional interested children would bang on the keys, but the piano simply waited to be dusted. “I don’t think the kids see it enough to want to play,” I declared to my husband. “Our house isn’t that big,” he replied. Out of sight, out of mind kept replaying in my head. “Let’s move it!”

Up two stairs and into the foyer we rolled the piano (yes, my husband and I moved it, which really wasn’t the best idea but this wasn’t thought out too well). The only wall big enough for it was under the stairs directly infront of the door. By all means, this was an interior decorator’s nightmare, but I had a hunch that this old piano was going to be brought back to life! And sure enough, I was right! All three kids passed by this piano many, many times a day to get to and from their bedrooms! Randomly tapping keys turned into sitting on the bench to opening a beginner’s piano book to asking for lessons. Years later, my oldest children play beautifully, oftentimes getting lost their music. Piano has become a form of relaxation but also a way for them to entertain. Annual Christmas concerts are planned, practiced and printed out on programs. These shows have become a most anticipated tradition. I always asks for this to be my gift as having my children perform together is one of my most precious memories. Musical interests have expanded to other instruments as well. My son plays the alto sax and a little bouzouki and likes to compose his own music. He has now started to DJ. Our home is constantly filled with music, the old piano keys creating happiness all times of the day. When I think back to one of the best mom moments I’ve had, putting the piano in our foyer is one of them. Rearranging our home to create opportunities for our kids was always a priority no matter how improper the spaces looked. Plus, I never wanted to be an interior designer anyway❤︎

Organizing Brings Happiness and Less Complaining

Posted in essentialism, Family, Greek Orthodox Parenting, Happiness, Joy, Orthodoxy Parenting, parenting, self-improvement, simply better yourselfTagged , , Leave a comment
Our ‘after’ pantry

I like to organize! I like to have a place for everything. My daughters have followed in my footsteps, but my son, not so much. We are heading into Lent and cleaning our home is part of our preparedness. This year, my 10yr old has been watching The Home Edit so our home is going through some major re-organization! It first started with my daughter’s room. I spent way too much on clear drawer containers so she could roll her clothes into neat, small bundles. Hours upon hours later she surfaced with a huge smile of accomplishment. She purged bags of clothes that did not fit, hammy downs that she would not wear, and trinkets that were long over due to be tossed. She gained 2 empty drawers, which she stored her hair accessories and jewelry so that the top of her dressers were free from clutter. WOW! I was amazed. Her happiness was contagious and soon we were on to tackle the kitchen pantry.

A trip to our local Home Goods shocked the cashier as she inquired what we could possibly do with all those bins! Honestly, the kitchen project took me a few days to mentally process before we began because I knew it would temporarily disrupt our daily lives. But with her enthusiasm gleaming, we jumped in. I even put a coat of glossy white paint on the shelves since it hadn’t been done in years! Together we sorted, color matched, and rearranged the most highly utilized part of our kitchen. And it is glorious! Something as simple as putting school snacks in a clear bin within easy reach makes mornings that much smoother! Moving nuts to the middle shelf within eye sight allows them to be chosen as a snack more often! Up went the pasta to the top shelf simply because I need to eat less pasta…and it worked! Who would have imagined organizing a pantry would make everyone in our home happier? Even my husband keeps saying he LOVES opening the doors as it looks pretty.

Why stop there? Kitchen drawers were my project one afternoon. My daughter tackled her bathroom closet. Then came refrigerator. Again, it’s incredible what a few clear bins can do to transform a space. We reimagined where food items could go and started with a clean slate. Veggies and fruit came out of the built-in produce drawers and we sorted them by color in the easy to reach middle of the fridge. Breads went into the drawers so they aren’t seen as easily or eaten as frequently. And guess what? We’ve been flying through our fruits and veggies simply because they are front and center. And when you sort by color, they look so nice!

Honestly, all I can say is start organizing the most used parts of your home right now! Think of your kitchen, mudroom, bedrooms, bathrooms. Take your time though…make it a month long project. Keep in mind, if you drag it on too long it won’t get done. Divide tasks, rooms and roles to make it a family affair. Plus, the more hands who contribute, the more ownership they’ll have and will aim to keep it organized along the way. And when people can find things, there’s less complaining, smoother mornings and bedtimes, less chaos, and fewer inquires of where things are. And that makes mom simple happier. ❤︎

If you enjoyed this post, follow my blog for more tips and thoughts on being an Essentialist Family….Simply Happier❤︎

Lauri

For inspiration check out: https://thehomeedit.com/

Our ‘after’ fridge

3 Ways to Create Calm Right This Minute!

Posted in essentialism, Family, Joy, parenting, simply better yourselfTagged , Leave a comment

A few years back, a mom friend popped over after school. She walked in and looked around quite suspiciously. “Is this how your home is all the time?” she wondered. I didn’t know what she meant until she said her house was not as peaceful and her kids, not as calm. So I shared my thoughts on how I create calm in the chaos of life!

1.Turn down the lights or better yet, open the shades

Imagine coming home from a busy day at school, bombarded with tests, overwhelming assignments, navigating the social world of teens, hangry, and physically and emotionally exhausted. You fling open the door to your haven of home and are blinded by glaring florescent lights turned all the way up to BRIGHT. You squint! You bend your head away from the blinding light before a headache ensues. Not a comforting way to come home.

Instead, open the door to a kitchen with the blinds opened all the way up and natural light pouring in. The high hats are dimmed a tad, producing a glowing effect that brings a smile to a warm room. Is this ambiance any harder to create in your own home? Probably not, but lighting does make a large impact on how people feel. And after a long day at school and work, your family wants to come home and feel at ease, relaxed and happy to be together. Turn the lights down a notch to create this calming effect.

2.Light a candle

Using scent is a powerful calming technique. Lavender, vanilla, and rose can instantly bring calm one first sniff. I happen to look for beach inspired scents as anything beachy brings a relaxing vibe to our home. You can also try plug-in air fresheners, dried flowers, or essential oil diffusers to fill your home with longer lasting smells. I happen to prefer candles as the flicker of light also soothes–maybe even put on the fireplace for the same effect!

3.Turn on the music

Do you like waking up to a beeping, blaring alarm blasting at a high volume? Neither do I. Talk about jarring yourself into a state of panic rather than starting your day peacefully. Walking into a home filled with soft jazz, classical music, drumming or soothing sounds of a rainfall does produce calm almost instantaneously. “Music around 60 beats per minute can cause the brain to synchronize with the beat causing alpha brainwaves (frequencies from 8 – 14 hertz or cycles per second). This alpha brainwave is what is present when we are relaxed and conscious.”1 We constantly have music playing because I visibly see how it positively effects my family. Plus, when the volume is subtle, voices get softer. I asked for a record player a few Christmases ago and even though I only have a few albums, they work wonders! We also did get Sonos speakers for the main living areas just for this reason of creating a soothing environment.

So, what are you waiting for? Create a more calming home right now in 3 easy ways! Let me know how it went….

If you enjoyed this post, follow my blog for more tips and thoughts on being an Essentialist Family….Simply Happier❤︎

Lauri

1https://www.unr.edu/counseling/virtual-relaxation-room/releasing-stress-through-the-power-of-music

Pick Up the Phone!

Posted in Family, parenting, self-improvement, simply better yourselfTagged , Leave a comment
I have a house phone so all my kids can make calls.

I spoke with one my oldest friends this morning. The conversation lasted 1 hour and 4minutes. And let me tell you…the time flew by! While this is not typical, I thoroughly enjoyed spending time catching up about our children, hearing about upcoming birthday celebrations, talking through doctor appointments, devising strategies to deal with child organization, discussing which volunteering commitments give us joy, what we ate for breakfast and when we were making time for our workout routines. While she was on speaker, I emptied the dishwasher and refilled it, did 2 loads of laundry, tidied the kitchen, walked the dog and ate breakfast. This multi-tasking morning while conversing with a dear friend was just what we both needed. Our socio-emotional well-being increased tenfold!

Then I go to wondering how often my teens pick up the phone and talk to friends? RARELY!!! And it shocks me because it’s so nice to chat with friends and I don’t mean to chat via text but actually hear their voices, listen and feel their excitement in happy moments, and verbally console when disappointment strikes. I encourage my kids to call their friends yet they hardly do. “No one does that, mom” they firmly state. But why not? They should! Aren’t we trying to raise competent, contributing citizens? Well, they will in fact need to communicate effectively with others and not just by texting! Let’s encourage our kids to pick up the phone and start calling their friends and let’s go out on a limb and add extended family members.

My 10yr old talks every single day to my mother on the phone. And not just with me urging her to dial. She asks to use my phone to call or Facetime and they can talk for 20-30 minutes strong. She has become such a great conversationalist too! Because there can be awkward moments of silence… how does she break that? You can get stuck on what to discuss…so what else can you talk about? Some topics can be boring or uncomfortable…so how do you change course? All these skills are being developed by simply taking with Nana! So, let’s hand over our phones or start encouraging our kids to press the green Call button to talk it up! Their future selves will thank us 🙂

Relax, Release

Posted in Family, Happiness, Joy, motherhood, parenting, self-improvement, simply better yourself, UncategorizedTagged , , Leave a comment

Take a deep breath in. Hold 1,2,3. Slowly, let it out. Relax your heart. Release.

My youngest daughter has a “worry” brain. That’s how we’ve come to name her anxiety ridden thought processes that weigh her down. It has been a struggle to have her ease her worries to live in a more calm, happy state. Some days are better than others, especially as she learns strategies to help. Maturity as well as the ability to verbalize her feelings, tiggers and concerns facilitates in getting her emotions under control.

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, by Michael Singer, is my most recent read in a genre I don’t typically grab. Yet, I loved it! There’s truth of going outside your comfort zone to experience joy in unexpected ways. As I dove into this journey of self-discovery, I realized that “if you protect yourself perfectly, you will never grow”(61). I couldn’t help but think of my daughter. I can’t protect her from troubling situations but I can guide her in how she copes. “Events don’t determine whether or not you’re going to be happy. They’re just events. You determine whether or not you’re going to be happy…if you can live this way, your heart will be so open and your Spirit will be so free, that you will soar up to the heavens (143). Simply, keep an open heart. When negativity, frustration, or disappointment arise, relax your heart and let these feelings flow freely through. Release the negativity. Try it! Because you know what? You will feel better. But it takes deliberate practice, self-awareness, and time. “Eventually you will see that the real cause of problems is not life itself. It is the commotion the mind makes about life that really causes problems” (10). And this is what I want to show my daughter…her mind is creating chaos. When she reframes the situation and renames her feelings, she is empowered and her outlook shifts. “That which is holding you down can become a powerful force that raises you up” (79).

7:15am. Bedside, I nudge my daughter from sleep. Eyes slowly open and then instantaneously turn red, watery, filling with tears. Not even 10 seconds have gone by since awakening. “What is it, my love?” I ask. “I have MAP testing,” she whimpers. Together, we took a deep breath in. Hold 1,2,3. Slowly, let it out. Relax your heart. Release. Out went the negative feelings. In came relief. She got up and started her day, tears drying up, a smile emerging. As Singer says, “You live in love and it feeds you and strengthens you” (57). ❤︎

The Importance of Seeking Challenges!

Posted in essentialism, parenting, self-improvement, simply better yourselfTagged Leave a comment
My son working on his 360

I recently gave a class of 4th graders the opportunity to take home math fact worksheets so they could improve their scores on multiplication tests. Out of 19 students, 4 raised their hands eagerly wanting the extra practice and excited to put in the work to do better. The others simply had no interest. I was shocked and honestly disappointed! You tell this educator, mom, and writer of self-improvement that you don’t want to ‘better yourself’ and you may get a lecture or two. 🙂

The math lesson was paused and I pulled up a stool to the front of the class for a heart-to-heart. I explained to these young students that there comes a time when they assume more responsibility for their own learning. This shift in ownership will determine who is going to excel. Who is going to do the extra work, read additional materials and ask more questions to expand knowledge? Where does this drive come from? It has to come from within!

Intrinsic motivation “is the drive that comes purely from within, without any ostensible external rewards. You do it because it’s inherently enjoyable, and not because of any anticipated reward, deadline, or outside pressure.” 1 It is out of joy that people are motivated and desire to fulfill the outcome, It becomes a personal mission to do something better like running faster, eating less sugar, or scoring higher on math tests. Many people use extrinsic motivation, which utilizes an external reward to encourage behavior such as toys, stickers, or even money. However, extrinsic motivation doesn’t last. There’s no real internal compass that continues to drive you when situations get tough or drag on. So how do we help kids begin to feel intrinsically motivated so that they can develop skills that will benefit them into adulthood?

Let’s MAP it out! Kids need mastery in a topic, autonomy in their learning and purpose of why they are even learning in the first place!2 Providing successful opportunities builds confidence and a platform for wanting to continue the feeling of victory. When given choices of what to learn and how to learn it, students will increase their enjoyment during the process which will allow for taking on more work or problems. Acknowledge their successes and increase awareness of how they are feeling after they accomplish their goals. What was their process? What worked for them? What did they learn? These questions place the responsibility back on themselves as they reflect on hard work, organization, and commitment to spend time on their goals.

Here are 5 ways to increase intrinsic motivation in your kids today:

  1. Praise their effort, not the outcome. You focused on building that Pinewood Derby car every Sunday for three weeks! You made it a priority to refine the design as you tested its speed.
  2. Focus on one area at a time. Make a goal of getting 95% or higher on weekly spelling tests.
  3. Devise a plan for your child to complete tasks on his/her own. Create a chart, calendar or checklist with activities to be done independently to help reach his/her goal.
  4. Explain the why! Mastering math facts on timed drills will help you solve problems faster and make more complex math easier. When you are checking out of a store, you can make sure you get the correct change back by completing the math in your head!
  5. Point out feelings. You tied your shoes all by yourself! How do you feel?

Developing intrinsic motivation does not happen instantaneously. It is a process, but so incredibly important for lasting success. Guide your children to look for challenges as a way to better themselves and when they see a challenge have them shout, “BRING IT ON!”

1https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mind-brain-and-value/202101/the-power-intrinsic-motivation

2https://www.edutopia.org/article/help-students-build-intrinsic-motivation/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0277953616303689

Spreading Joy While Nurturing Your Soul

Posted in Family, Happiness, Joy, parentingTagged , , , , Leave a comment

“Joy is thankfulness, and when we are joyful, that is the best expression of thanks we can offer the Lord, Who delivers us from sorrow and sin.”
― Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica, Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives: The Life and Teachings of Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica

My posts in December were focused on simple gifts I can give my children as well as myself. My mind began tuning into the simple things I do for myself that I hadn’t realized were really important. They mostly go unseen, unnoticed except for this one….creating fresh floral arrangements. I’ve always loved flowers and gardens. I think part of that stemmed from the fact that I grew up in an apartment and wasn’t able to have a garden of my own. I yearned for one. My mother found a way of making our windowsills mini-gardens filled with potted plants. I adored helping her care for these beauties, watering and deadheading blooms. As I got older, I found that making simple bouquets of fresh flowers was a treat and a way to surround myself with colorful flowers. This gift continues today as I find any reason to create arrangements for my home. It gives me joy, pure and simple. I guess you can call it a hobby or a passion just to create something I love. I have come to gift my arrangements to friends and family for celebrations, surprises for neighbors, and to cheer up homebound seniors from our Church. It is a simple way to spread joy while nurturing my own soul in the process. With Valentine’s Day approaching, think about how your family can give happiness to others, but in a way that hones in on your strengths, interests or hobbies. What do you enjoy doing together? Crafts? Reading? Cooking? Think about curating family favorite books, tie with a bow and gift to a teacher. Put together your favorite family soup recipe with dry ingredients in a jar, and attach a recipe card to gift to a neighbor. Make a fleece-tied blanket for grandparents or elderly friends. Love chocolate? Try making your own for friends! You can add different flavors based on their preferences such as hints of coffee, peppermint or even jalapeno. Creating a gift together to pass on to people you care about will have lasting meaning for all of you. So while the majority of people are stopping at convenience stores to buy last-minute Valentine’s gifts, take time to bond with your family showing the value of using your time, talents and thoughtfulness for those you care about. And when in doubt, flowers do make people smile 🙂

Embracing Life with Heart & Soul

Posted in Family, Happiness, Joy, motherhood, parenting, self-improvementTagged , Leave a comment

January 2023. A New Year and another birthday a few days later. It’s a time for reflection, change, lists of hopes, long-term plans, redefining wants and needs, and simply finding ways for joy and fulfillment. My book club is finishing up The Untethered Soul by Micahel Singer, and one of my favorite quotes is, “Just embrace life with all of your heart and soul” (46). This will be my mantra for this coming year…keeping my heart open and joyfully welcoming opportunities, and new experiences, while letting go of past frustrations and expectations.

A tradition of my family has been to go to the beach for my birthday, even in the snow! The beach is my happy place; the sound, the smell, the feeling I get. This year it was mild so we headed up to nearby Maine to one of our all-time favorite beaches, Goose Rocks. The sugar-white sand is silky underfoot, while the emptiness of the seashore in winter is serene. Deep breaths in and even slower breaths out refocused me. Children are very perceptive, more than we tend to give them credit for. One by one, they ran and found rocks, smoothed by the ebb and flow of the waves. We like to collect ones that look like hearts. And of course, on this glorious day, we found just the right one. It’s larger than usual, rugged and jagged on one side, more rounded on the other. Smooth in some spots but rough on others. The color varies in shades of gray, and chips can be seen throughout nodding to the hard life under the ocean. Yet, its imperfections make it perfect for me. Our life as a family is not perfect, but in moments like these I want to savor for all time. The joy in my heart and soul are utterly overflowing and I can’t help but say a prayer of gratitude. I do hope, in my 46th year, I give a gift to my children. I want them to feel love, contentment, enthusiasm, and joy in life. I want them to find their own beaches, with loved ones by their sides. Happy, Happy❤︎

Goose Rocks Beach, Kennebunkport, ME

Are You Choosing to be Distracted?

Posted in Family, Family Trips, Happiness, Joy, parenting, self-improvement, simply better yourselfTagged , Leave a comment

Mornings in our home are quite busy. All five of us are suppose to have morning responsibilities (jobs or chores) to make it go more smoothly as well as to not lay the burden on just one person (ME). Activities include emptying the dishwasher, loading breakfast dishes, feeding and walking the dog, spraying the kitchen counters, as well as starting a load of laundry-first come, first dibs! While they make their own breakfasts and pack lunches, the intention is that they will clean up after themselves too! Oh and I’ve started to workout in the mornings! Also, I work out of the home three days a week so getting out at a precise time is paramount. Needless to say, I can be frazzled!

This morning was no exception. I was coming up from exercising enthusiastically reminding my children of what needed to be done (or as they said, “shouting orders”). My youngest was asking me to head to her room to look at something, and I quickly replied, “Wait a sec…let me do this first.” Well, minutes later I had found 5 things to do…load laundry, fold towels, replenish napkins, put a clean bag in the trash bin, and water the plants. Sophie inquired again as to my whereabouts.

“I got distracted, sweetie, but I’m on my way.”

“You are CHOOSING to get distracted, mom.”

WAIT…WHAT??!!!!

Pause….

Hmmmmm…she’s totally on to something. But first, how did she get SO incredibly insightful at 10 years old. I’ve never use this line on my kids so she didn’t hear it from me!

Point is, she was right! Completely, utterly, 100% correct. I did chuckle because I did not HAVE to do all those things in that moment, but I CHOSE to. My enneagram 1 personality makes me like to have things promptly done and done in a certain way. It is hard for me to walk away from a task that’s not completed, even if it’s not completed in my own mind. But Sophie made me think-How many times have I chosen to be distracted and set myself up to disappoint others, not meet a deadline, or not finish what I could have?

I can honestly say I felt relived in a way when I left my mundane tasks and headed to see what my daughter wanted…proudly wearing her Girl Scout sash. My plants would not have instantaneously died, someone else would have put a clean bag in the trash bin and the towels would have stayed fluffy in the dryer. Thanks for my child, pausing in the moment to consciously decide if what I’m doing is what needs to be done, is what I’m going to work on. And reminding my kids to do the same is powerful! If they can become more aware and reflect themselves, just think about how much time, nagging and stress could be saved and how much productivity could be gained. Sounds simple enough to give a try. Oh, and those towels may stay in the dryer ALL day!

Simple Gifts for My Children: Traditions

Posted in essentialism, Family, Joy, motherhood, Orthodox Parenting, parentingTagged , , Leave a comment
My eldest daughter painted the sign as a Christmas present one year. She also found a ceramic light up tree and painted that as well since I remembered having one as a child.

I thought the previous blog post was going to be my last entry of simple gifts. Yet, when a cousin asked if I would make my pizzelles for Christmas Eve, I had to smile. My grandmother’s recipe for the Italian cookie has been enjoyed by family and friends since I can remember. I was gifted my own pizzelle iron when I got married, hence carrying on the tradition. And that’s when I realized I do have one more gift for my children this and every year going forward….traditions.

It’s ironic really because I wrote an article this month for a parenting newspaper. And guess what my topic was? Traditions old and new! Yet I didn’t fully think of our customs as a gift, but that’s what they truly are. Traditions are passed down from generation to generation, providing comfort, history, belonging, and simple joy. Many of the things we do each holiday may be overlooked. I use Christmas glasses from when I was a child. They come out each and every year, mostly for egg nog. We admire ornaments from years past, ones that were even pieces of my own baby mobile. I have one photo ornament since we became a family 17 years ago and they have become a visual reminder of how our children have grown. When our children started school, we made teachers a variety of cookies as a gift. Even this last weekend, my youngest inquired as to when we were having Baking Day, she enthusiastically named it. These are all simple traditions created and treasured by my family.

We bake A LOT in our home. Becoming a mother made me a cook and baker. I found such gratification in cooking homemade meals for my family. Baking has become comforting and a way to show love. We pass on the love by making recipes from grandparents (nan’s thumbprint cookies, yiayia’s butter cookies stuffed with Nutella), relatives (my aunt’s cranberry nut bread), and friends (my college roommates’ nana’s date nut bread). We’ve added many favorites of our own from peppermint bark to chocolate-dipped Oreos (notice the chocolate theme?!). But the sentiment is the same; pass on what you love through work with your hands to show others you care.

I admit I had a hundred other things to do today. However, the laundry will eventually get done, dusting the dining room can wait, and researching my next topic will be paused. Instead, I’m making a cup of tea, putting on Christmas music, and deciding to pass on decades of joy. Smiles along with tantalized tastebuds with hints of anisette are my priority. Knowing my children have generations of traditions filling their hearts, makes this gift one that will keep giving when they have families of thier own.

Wishing my Essentialist Family a very, very Merry Christmas! May your days be filled with all things essential: happiness, laughter, kindness, compassion, faith, love and traditions. Oh, and a few pizzelles would make it that more tasty.❤︎

Collecting books each year has become a wonderful keepsake that will be passed on.

Simple Gifts for My Children: Faith

Posted in Family, Greek Orthodox Parenting, motherhood, Orthodox Parenting, parentingTagged , , , Leave a comment

❤︎The series of entries in December will be short essays on simple gifts you can give your children each and every day. During this season of light, hope, and love, I will share my own stories to inspire reflection and possibly spark small changes in your family as we focus on what’s truly essential.

I was raised Catholic until I was 7yrs old. When my parents decided to divorce, my mother stopped going to Church. Without guidance, I fell away too. When I met my husband, I was thrown into the world of Greek Orthodoxy. His family’s rich and fierce faith was eye-opening. Their culture is intricately woven into their religion. Liturgies are mostly delivered in Ancient Greek. It took me years to get comfortable with the rituals, icons, chants, symbolism, and Greek written texts. Yet, there was always something so peaceful and calming about each service. When my husband, two children, and I moved away from family and started a new part of our lives in New England, one of the first places we went was Church. It was the summer of 2010, and I saw a flyer for a Bible Camp. When I walked in with a 3 and 4-year-old, not knowing a soul, I was warmly greeted and embraced. I felt welcomed in a way I never experienced. Our previous high-holiday visits to Church quickly morphed into weekly attendance. Our children loved the friendships they formed eagerly awaiting Sunday School each week. Fellowship after Liturgy allowed for learning more about our community, things to do, insight into schools, and a social network connected in faith.

As time progressed, I personally looked forward to sitting in a pew, surrounded by glorious icons, inhaling fragrant incense, and lighting a single white candle. As I paused each Sunday to ignite a flame, I prayed and thanked God for the good health, happiness, and blessings of my family. This Church was deeply part of the overall strength of my young family. The African proverb, “It takes a village to raise a family,” rings true in my heart. Our Church has become our village even without knowing it. As parents, we surrounded our children with like-minded families, valuing similar morals, dedicated to service, and putting God first and foremost in our lives. With this village, came peace and immense gratitude. I never knew what I was missing in life until this Church and Priest invited me in. After my third child was born, I converted to Greek Orthodox. It was one of the most fulfilling experiences I’ll ever know. In a way, it completed me as a woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor, and teacher. It has continued to shape my journey in this world in a way I never imagined. Nor should I have assumed I had it all planned, because I know now more than ever that God’s plan for me is simply more than I ever could have dreamed.

Twelve years later, this Church, our Priest, and its members have become our family. My children have each become interwoven in this community of faith. My older two actively lead a teen youth group proudly engaging and promoting their Greek Orthodox religion. They are starting a Hellenic Club at their Catholic high school sharing their love of Orthodoxy as well as culture with their peers. They seek our social opportunities within the realm of their faith along with purpose. They give of themselves freely to serve others less fortunate. It has shaped who they have become as individuals. Their identity and belonging are rooted in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control, and faithfulness (Galatians 5:22). This last gift to my children is one I had never expected. If you had asked my younger teenage self if I would belong to a Church or be an active Christian, I’d firmly say, “No.” Yet, once I became a mother, I opened my heart to possibilities, seeking answers for my blessings. The Greek Orthodox Church was my answer and is my gift to my family. It has strengthed my connection to my beloved husband which deepens our family bonds. I wholeheartedly pray my children will continue to walk with God each and every day of their lives and feel as much love and completeness as I have been blessed.

Simple Gifts for My Children: Giving of One’s Self

Posted in essentialism, Family, Greek Orthodox Parenting, Joy, Parenthood, parentingTagged , , Leave a comment

❤︎The series of entries in December will be short essays on simple gifts you can give your children each and every day. During this season of light, hope, and love, I will share my own stories to inspire reflection and possibly spark small changes in your family as we focus on what’s truly essential.

Over the summer, my mother crocheted 125 hats for students at my school in school colors. She continues to be an example of generosity with a joyful spirit.

How is it possible that Christmas decorations start lining the shelves in stores beginning in August?! Where’s the anticipation of waiting until after Thanksgiving to put up a tree, pull out the decorations and start shopping for gifts in the few weeks leading up to December 25th? The overwhelming push for buying ‘stuff’ has been so off-putting. Never mind the fact that the real reason we celebrate Christmas is the birth of Jesus. That completely gets lost to commercialism. I do admit I can get caught up in purchasing presents for my own children, but I stop to remind myself that the real meaning of this holiday is giving to others. The wholehearted joy that comes from selfless giving is a wonderful gift that I can pass on to my children today and always.

Service to others was taught to me at a young age. We did not have a lot of money growing up, but when we had clothes we outgrew or furniture to replace, we always donated our items realizing that others could use them. And even when holiday gifts for my brother and I were scarce, my mother made it a priority to donate to a charity close to her heart. As I raise my own children, I have come to include them in the process of choosing who and how we open our hearts. Over the years, we have served at meal centers, put together meals in a bag, donated toys, coats and mittens, books, school supplies, toothbrushes and toothpaste, mattresses, made blankets, given money to animal rescue centers, wildlife refuges, and homeless shelters. We spread the word to immobilize troops of friends to support our missions so that we can do more together. Giving to our Church and our schools is essential to us as well. Establishing relationships with homebound seniors through cards, phone calls, and homemade goodies brighten all of our days. In our community, we serve our neighbors whenever we can. Maybe it’s sharing vegetables from our garden, bringing in garbage cans or shoveling a walkway for an elderly woman up the hill. Big or small, noticed or unseen, “only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile” (Albert Einstein).

I hope my children realize they are not alone…they are part of a village of people who help whenever they can, in whatever capacity they have and receive openly in return. Life will bring good times and hardships, but no matter what each day will deliver, may they carry a giving heart because that will fill them with joy. ❤︎

Simple Gifts to My Children: Gratitude

Posted in Family, Joy, parentingTagged , , Leave a comment

❤︎The series of entries in December will be short essays on simple gifts you can give your children each and every day. During this season of light, hope, and love, I will share my own stories to inspire reflection and possibly spark small changes in your family as we focus on what’s truly essential.

“Thank you!” Two small words that are always nice to hear. We are quick to say thanks to a worker at the supermarket or wait staff at a restaurant. We pass along a wave of thanks to our crossing guard in the morning and the receptionist on the phone after scheduling an appointment. But how many times a day do you give a sincere, “Thank you” to your loved ones?

Positive reinforcement goes a long way, especially with highlighting all the good things your children do. I am showering my kids with gratitude for picking up after themselves, helping around the house without being asked, and remembering they have appointments or sport meets and being prepared accordingly. I am grateful that at this point in parenthood, they have become incredibly independent. I want them to know that I am completely proud and thankful for their help and responsibility. And to be honest, it also frees up my mental capacity to focus on other tasks because they have things under control!

And the more I say, “Thank you!” the more they do!! While they’re overall polite children, they have been acknowledging the smaller things. “Thanks, mom for driving me to Launch.” “I appreciate the gas money, mom!” (Well, gas money these days isn’t small!!) Even better, they are appreciating one another even more and verbally say it. It makes my heart full when I hear the grateful comments between siblings, strengthening the bonds that will carry them into adulthood.

During Thanksgiving, we kept a gratitude pumpkin. It sat on our kitchen table and during dinner we wrote something we were grateful for. My initial goal was to write on it every night, but reality made it only possible 3 or 4 times per week. However, that still had a positive impact. My youngest would especially love reminding us it was time to share. Being grateful for things evolved into being more aware of our surroundings such as sunlight in cold, dark New England or small acts of kindness such as turning over someone’s laundry. Or something my husband wrote that we all may take for granted, “Family to come home to.”

Gratitude is simple, free and profoundly loving. The more you share how grateful you are for the unique individuals they are and what they do to contribute to your family, the more all of those attributes will flourish. This simple Christmas gift will continue to spread joy well after the season is over.

❤︎And please know that I am very grateful for all The Essentialist Family readers. You make time to read my blog, and make comments and reach out to me. You make my hobby worthwhile and fill a special place in my heart. Truly, thank you! ~Lauri