I don’t do it enough. When I do, I wish I did it more. It’s always fun and filled with laughter or sometimes tears. But it feels so good! Going out with the ladies for lunch is one thing I aim to do more this season. Nothing fancy, but a salad in an outside cafe. Good conversation overflows, life problems attempt to be solved, much-liked podcasts are shared, heartfelt stories about loved ones are honestly put on the table for all to support. We share dilemmas faced with aging family as caregiving shifts from the young to the old. We shed light on our faith, seeking God to continue to guide us and continuously grateful for our blessings. We sit for hours as time flies by, my heart overflowing for these women who grace my life. Ordinary moments that are often overlooked, and not done enough. No particular reason or specific milestone celebration causing us to schedule a lunch together yet our friendship should be the best reason of all! ❤︎
Last week, my son was home from school, resting on the couch watching anime. Several times I had wanted to comment that I thought he was wasting his brain watching cartoons but I went along with my tasks keeping my thoughts to myself. Finally, I came up with a question that wasn’t too critical or judgemental as I didn’t want him to necessarily be offended over something I didn’t understand.
“What draws you to this type of show?” I inquired.
“Mom, you would LOVE this show! It will make you cry!!” He enthusiastically shared.
Wow! That was not the response I was expecting…not at all. He went on to explain how this show, Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End, was about enjoying one’s journey through life when looking back; appreciating what you have and what each day has to offer; remembering that sometimes the most beautiful memories are the most simple (like a field of flowers); not taking people for granted.
I sat there stunned that my 18 year old spoke so eloquently and philosophically about a show I was quick to bawk at. Humbly, I sat on the couch next to him and watched. He was right…once I got past not comparing anime to a traditional cartoon but value it for a different genre, I moved past criticism and toward appreciation. I did enjoy the life lessons, excitedly anticipated the next scenes, and got teary eyed as I was ashamed it took me this long to lean into his world. His knee-jerk response was how he knew I would love it so why did I not open the door sooner? My son knows me very well and I should know his tastes in shows would reflect him as well. I can’t say anime is my new favorite thing, but when my boy is watching, I will be sure to get comfy alongside.
This is what causes me to get annoyed before school!After seeing an older sibling’s room stay tidy, my youngest now starts her day like this!!
Nagging…who doesn’t get tired of hearing their own voices?
“Make your bed! Open your shades!!” I remind almost EVERY morning! I’ve tried multiple strategies, yet the beds don’t get made most days.
So today I tried something new….My middle was up and lounging on the couch for a few moments before he left for school. I happened to peek into his room and lo and behold the room was dark and the quilt and sheets were jumbled in a pile.
Instead of my usual rant, I calmly suggested, “Would you please set an example for your younger sister and get your room ready for the day?” Well, that boy let out a long, loud sigh but then he got right up and went to tidy his room. Siblings can be great teachers to one another and this was a way to use his positive influence. Because it is true…as a 17 year old young man, his 12 year old sister is looking to him to see what he does, how he talks, how he acts, what he prioritizes, when he does homework, when he’s on his phone, how he talks to his parents, if he puts his dishes in the dishwasher, how he does his chores, if he puts away his razor in the bathroom and if he makes his bed. He needs to realize that his actions are speaking loudly and influencing her at a very impressionable age as well. Wouldn’t you know, both beds were made, laundry was put away and shades were up!
Now let’s see how long this lasts…♥︎
Positive sibling influence can make your home a happier place for all!
Encourage your children to inspire one another with…
completing chores (without reminders is even better!!)
preparing for the day ahead (packing backpacks, lunchboxes)
starting homework after a snack or practice
keeping bedroom/bathroom organized
setting a timer to be on time for a sports practice or extracurriculur acitivities
choosing a nicer outfit for church
picking up the phone to call a grandparent
**Did you try this?? Share your stories with me at lauri@theessentialistfamily.com
Over February vacation, I took two of my kids down to Florida to visit family as a last-minute trip. Truth be told, my Uncle is not doing well and I wanted to be sure we could spend a little time with him. On the flight down, my son was sitting in the row in front of me next to an older gentleman. They struck up conversation about this man’s time in the army and subsequent defense work for 56 years. At the end of the flight, the gentleman asked my son if he could retrieve his bags from the overhead compartment. My son proceeded to offer to carry the bags off the plane as it was obvious that walking was difficult. It took a few moments for the gentleman to get himself out of the row and wobble out of the aircraft. There were several grunts and sighs from the people behind us, suggesting it was taking way too long for their liking. The gentleman even responded that he was sorry and I commented that he did not need to rush and could take his time. (Note here that I had just started reading, The Let Them Theory, by Mel Robbins, on this very flight and I was going to Let Them complain, moan, and roll their eyes and I was not going to rush this older man one little bit.).
Once we got this man settled into his wheelchair with his belongings, we bid farewell with smiles and a warm feeling of simply helping someone. I only hope I am in good health when I’m his age and can travel, “for business” as he was still doing. A fellow passenger stopped me and said I should be proud of my son as he saw the entire situation unfold. “He gave me faith that there’s still kindness in this world.” I was actually a tad taken aback. What had my son done? Get bags down from the overhead? Help lug bags off a plane? Be a friendly face to a man sitting next to him? Be patient?
Have we become a society in which normal graces and common manners are exceptions? Is being helpful to strangers rare? Is friendliness now seen as an act of kindness? How did this happen?????
Yes, I am proud of my son. Not necessarily for that particular moment but for all the moments that led up to this where it has become part of his being that he is helpful, kind, considerate, patient, selfless, and loving. He did not have to think in this moment whether or not to assist an older man; he simply acted on instinct, and acted with love. As we raise our children or even reflect on our own actions as adults, let’s remember that simple manners do go a long way and kindness should be a way of simply being. ♥︎
Life is hard. Simply stated, we all have struggles whether or not we share them. However, one of our jobs as parents is helping our kids confront the hard stuff. Teaching them to begin looking at problems from different viewpoints is a positive, life skill. Yes, you can typically see all the negatives to a bad situation, but is there anything we learned? A constructive point? A benefit? Writing a list of pros and cons can help aid in this process too. As they begin to tackle more challenging issues, they’ll develop the mindset to persevere. And perseverance is a quality that increases confidence, self-esteem and happiness. As Jelly Roll sings, “I am not ok but it’s all gonna be alright.” Now that’s something to smile about.
Husband & youngest daughter spending time together
This past Sunday at Church, our Deacon enlightened the children that love is a verb. Think about that for a minute…love is an action; it’s something you do, say, show. I couldn’t help but think what an important reminder for adults too. Imagine if we all showed affection more often, spoke kind words more than others, and did small acts of lovingkindness throughout our days. Treating love as an action to our children will encourage them to reciprocate it not only to the family but to those all around. Now that’s something to pass on…❤︎
5 Ways to Show Love to Your Kids
leave “Just Because I Love You” notes in lunchboxes, in sport bags, on bathroom mirrors, on pillows
give a hug & kiss, cuddle up, walk arm-in-arm,
say, “I love you!” “You mean SO much to me!” “I’m very lucky to have you!”
make their favorite meal, snack or dessert
plan one-on-one time together (neighborhood walk, bike ride, trip to the mall, ice cream outing, board game)
I recently took a pause from working out of the home and am back home-momming, as my kids call it. And do you know one of the first things they got excited about? After-school snacks! Unbeknownst to me, I hadn’t really planned ahead for food when we all got home in the afternoon. It was a free-for-all of grabbing something from the fridge or pantry. But I never thought too much about it because life at 3:30pm was a craze and survival mode said, “all left to their own food choices.” Apparently, my kids didn’t appreciate this. They had most looked forward to a homemade treat. I realized that while they did like creative alternatives to the bag of Smartfood or apple and peanut butter, it was more about the time we spent talking while eating the snack together. The grab-and-go option wasn’t as fulfilling emotionally since it didn’t make us slow down together and debrief about our days. Now that I’m home-momming 2.0, I can’t help but exercise my baking skills more often. It’s not the homemade options necessarily that show love, it’s the time and effort I make for a few moments in the afternoon, sitting at our kitchen island sharing, laughing, and comforting. However, homemade banana apple muffins warm out of the oven never hurt (see recipe below). ❤︎
I made 1 dozen muffins then used remaining batter for a breadHere’s the recipe from the Sept 2024 Costco Connection magazine (Instead of 2 bananas, I substituted one with apple sauce; I used whole what flour instead of all-purpose; I replaced 3 cups of apples with 3 whole apples.)
I try to leave my kiddos notes to show them I’m thinking of them, loving them, praying for them. These notes go into lunch boxes, taped to bathroom mirrors and even hidden in suitcases. But to my surprise, I get notes too! A simple message to show they are thinking of me and it means way more than they could imagine. “Have a great day,” was secretly written on my office calendar by my eldest daughter, brightening my day and my heart immeasurably.
And I usually don’t think they’re listening to me, but they’re definitely watching.❤️
These rules hang in our home as a reminder of how we want to be as a family.
Our family is a team! We work together, help one another, challenge, support, coach, comfort and want to be the best we can be.
Our team mindset considers our family as a collective unit, shaping our decisions, plans, words, and actions. Doing household chores becomes working together to make our home the place we love. Helping unload groceries becomes many hands make light work. Reminders are simply, “Come help!” Because that’s what teammates do!
We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders and our team is strengthened by this commitment to one another. So celebrate your one and only amazing family and have fun together… Go f💜mily!
My youngest recently told me I’m a “fun mom!” When I inquired what makes me fun, she said because I play!! That’s what our kids want and need from us… connection, sincere interest, engagement. Like all mothers, it seems I always have a list of things to do, but her soft voice echos in my head to make sure I leave time to play.❤️
My friend, Lori, teasingly points out all the times I feel moments are, “Perfect.” How’s the weather? Perfect. How’s your coffee? Perfect. How’s vacation? Perfect. I didn’t realize how often I said it but then I thought about what it meant. The Oxford dictionary defines perfect as ‘having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.’ So when I am sitting on a beach, under an umbrella, watching my kids play in the water, the moment to me is perfect. Each of our own criteria for perfection differs so my ideal beach day may be a flop to you.
I realized I’m also quick to capture a perfect moment; not necessarily a whole day but a little snapshot, in the moment kind of way. I’ve come to appreciate those little things that truly are most important…when my husband grabs hold of my hand as we walk the dog through our neighborhood- prefect. When I see my youngest crocheting alongside her nana- prefect.
So, is my life perfect? Absolutely not!! I’m perfectly imperfect right alongside my perfectly imperfect children, husband, and dog. But all our perfectly imperfect moments make me cherish this one and unique life that has been given to me. And that is simply perfect!❤️
the Essentialist Family 