Lots of things happen throughout the day. Sometimes it’s overwhelming…all the decisions that are being made, all the chores that need to be done, all the places that we need to go. For our kids, it’s the same feeling. Yet, we can take a few minutes to regroup, refocus, and regain our calm. For me, it’s waking up before anyone else to read Scripture and give thanks. At work, it’s closing my door and shutting my lights for a few moments of quiet. While making dinner, it’s putting on 2 CELLOS’ instrumental arrangements to soothe our souls as five of us come together bringing our collective days to the table. When we feel a bit restless or even frantic, we simply “Take 5” and then carry on with a lighter heart. Giving kids a technique that they can use with or without you present will empower them to calm their own spirits and positively refocus their moments. ❤︎
Happy 2024! How many New Year’s Resolutions have you broken or better yet, never started? Well, I have too many to count! This year I’m changing the habit and instead, will find inspiring quotes to guide my family each week.
What is an authentic self?
Who makes you feel happy when you are being real?
How can you shine in your own light?
Follow along each week as I share quotes that I post in my own home to encourage conversation, inspire action, and simply show love.❤︎
Start your day off with a smile. Open your eyes, take a deep breath, then smile ear to ear.
When your children first wake up…smile at them! This day is going to be wonderful because you greeted them with pure happiness and love all bundled up in a simple smile. ❤︎
And guess what? They’ll pass that smile on…and on..and on throughout their own day.
Simply smiling makes everyone’s day brighter. Pass it on…
I recently purchased a bunch of books from the Focus on the Family website. I find they have a fantastic list of parenting and family books. They are inspiring, practical, and quick to read…these are checks on my list!
Start with the Heart, by Kathy Koch, reminds parents of the importance of secure, unconditional love for our children. We must parent with grace, forgive quickly, walk side by side through struggles, satisfy needs not wants, create traditions and memories, be a good role model, and a reminder to raise the unique children we were given. Securing your child’s heart will “increase your influence so you’ll be able to motivate then to be responsible, brave, compassionate” (21). These sound easy but sometimes we need reminders to separate behaviors from beings. What they do is not who they are. Dr. Koch reiterates one of my life mantra’s…progress not perfection. She evens states “prioritize progress” (23) which is so true because it’s the starting of something that is the hardest (a new behavior, project, homework, chores, kind words, forgiveness).
Building character along with effort, diligence and perseverance shapes who your child becomes as an adult. Think of what kind of adult you want contributing to our world and strengthen those qualities. “Aristotle said that ‘courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees the others'” (54). Dr. Koch gives a slew of examples on how to redirect behavior, choosing wise words, using logical consequences and creating strategies to help develop identity and thus character.
I build my personal library with books I need to guide me through parenting. Start With the Heart proudly stands on my bookshelf, underlined, starred and dog eared.
“Find Five” gives insight to your child’s goals, hopes and dreams. But before you can guide them, you should know yourself better (119). Answer for enlightenment:
5 Things in My Lifetime I Want to…BE, DO, HAVE, HELP
What are they for you? Comment below…
I believe sharing experiences and learning new strategies are the ways we better ourselves as parents. If you think this blog will help other families on their journey of parenthood, please share the link. It takes a community to raise our kids and live simply happier.❤︎
I bet you’ve heard it takes 21 days to create a new habit. But did you know that it takes 90 days to make the new habit permanent? There are 90 days from Sept 25th to Christmas Eve. What a great time to create the new habit you’ve been thinking of or putting off. What have you been wanting to start with your family? One meal a day together? Family walks? Face Timing grandparents? Writing in a family gratitude journal? Giving thanks at meals? Think about one simple change you can all make or one activity you can add and commit the next 90 days to fulfilling it. Keep a calendar to mark off your family’s progress as you count down to 12/24. Celebrate small wins along the way such as creating a family cheer at week 1 or throwing confetti at week 4. Leave one another notes of encouragement along the way. Thank your family members for being positive, motivating and supportive. Days may be rough and you may skip a day or two. Don’t get discouraged. That’s when the power of family comes into play and you get through it together. Keep the end in mind and focus on strategies that help when the going gets tough! Make sure you celebrate big on Christmas Eve! This process will be a huge life lesson for your kids…creating positive change with loved ones by your side. And a new yearly tradition may have started too❤︎
What will your family take on in the next 90 days?
Summer has always been a convenient time to get your home cleaned up, organized, and ready for the school year ahead. Marie Kondo’s, Spark Joy, really hit home as I value and take pride in the environment I create for my family. And it’s a fact…the more organized my home is, the better our family lives. We eat better when meals are planned ahead and there’s time left to prepare them! Our mornings are less rushed when lunches are prepacked, clothes laid out, and homework completed! We talk nicer to one another when there’s less stress too! And honestly, we have time to play and simply hang out together when life is organized, which means more happiness all around.
Don’t think Kondo’s only about folding clothes into small bundles that fit much better in your drawers. This book shows you how to organize your home and the rooms you live in rooms as well as your belongings so that you are happier. Less truly is more. Get those donation bins and trash bags out and spend some time figuring out what items you really can’t live without, the ones you truly use, and the ones that just make you smile.
Let’s get started! Put these 3 places on your MUST-DO list before school starts. Give yourself a day to tackle them all or space them out over a week. Whichever method you prefer or have time for, you’ll inevitably be more organized and less stressed before school starts.
Pantry
Time for a pantry overhaul!
*Get rid of expired items, almost empty boxes, and the snacks no one likes. Find a meal center to donate unopened food items.
*Empty the entire pantry and wipe down shelves.
*Collect baskets/bins from around your home or purchase matching baskets. Donate what you don’t need! Place specific snacks and food items together in the bins for easy retrieval. We keep a large snack bin stocked with prepackaged snacks for school lunches and afterschool activities. We also keep reusable water bottles as well as reusable mini-bags so that our pantry serves as a one-stop place for our kids to pack their own lunches. Maybe rethink where you store certain items in your kitchen to improve overall daily function. Having an organized,well-stocked pantry will help make mornings run smoother and happier!
2. Mudroom
I call the place where we store backpacks, jackets, shoes, etc. our mudroom. Ours is actually in the breezeway, which is a 3 season hallway that attaches to our garage (how I dream of a fully insulated, cubby-laden space, with slate floors, oh, and a doggy shower!), but it serves the purpose quite efficiently. Some people have a laundry room that serves as a mudroom space too.
*Try on shoes and coats and donate those that don’t fit or are not worn regularly. Season-specific garments can be placed in bins outside of the mudroom to make more room.
*Have designated hooks for each child as it makes it easier for them to hang up their coats/backpacks when they have a certain spot. Use large baskets or racks to keep shoes organized and in pairs!!
*Less is more, especially here. Only have available what you’ll use over the season.
3. Homework Area
An organized homework area with school-aged children benefits everyone! Some families have desks in each child’s room while others, like us, have a common space. We have an office that is used by all 5 of us. It only had one desk, however, we had a shelf built along one wall and voila, it became a desk space that fit two stools! It serves its purpose quite well and offers a quiet getaway when someone doesn’t want to do work at the kitchen table.
*Have a desk clean-out party! It feels so good to throw away old papers, stubs of pencils, and dried-out markers.
*Take inventory of what items are needed so you can start the year prepared.
*Gather small glasses, jars or vases to store writing implements, paperclips, and mini-post-it notes. Have bins for papers or file folders to keep the paper trail/assignments/projects in order.
*Hang a calendar! Even if your child uses a personal daily planner, I can’t urge enough the importance of having a clearly visible family calendar to record meetings, events, obligations, birthdays, extra-curriculas, etc. (I should do a separate post on this!). Color code it for each family member too!
*Make sure lighting is bright! Keep a few plants for better air quality!
This may seem like a lot but some work now will give your family huge benefits each day! And these 3 areas will typically motivate you to continue organizing other rooms…like the kids’ bedrooms!! Remember, less to clean, less to tidy, less to nag about, and much more JOY!
Did you know that there is a National Institute for Play? I’m serious because this is important stuff! Children are spending less time than ever playing but it’s essential to their overall physical, emotional, social and emotional health! So as parents, we need to make the time and prioritize playing!
*Put it on your daily calendar. When you see play written down, you’ll most likely follow through and remember to give the kids time to play.
*Schedule short and long playtimes. 20 minutes is enough time to play on busy days but try to incorporate longer periods as well since more creativity and imagination need sustained time.
*Make it a habit. Schedule playtime as a family at the same time several days per week. Sunday after Church? Friday night board games?
*Create a go-to family favorite list to spark ideas. Write activities on popsicle sticks and place in a jar to be randomly picked.
*Simple is best! No fancy games or toys needed.
*Try not to intervene when they are bored! Figuring out what to do with free time is a skill!
*Make time for playing in the fresh air!
When parents fully realize the importance of play, it is easier to make it happen. Play develops creativity, problem-solving, critical thinking, executive functioning, motor skills, social interactions, self-confidence, self-awareness, and fairness, to name just a few.
Next time your child wants to watch TV tell them to, “Go Play!”
Summer vacation arrives and our hub becomes Cape Cod. The natural beauty of 560 miles of coastline provides endless opportunities for beaching, boating, exploring, and relaxing family time. An added bonus is that friends from all over the country vacation here as well. It becomes a time to reconnect, introduce generations, and an opportunity for impromptu getaways. A childhood friend has a home on Martha’s Vineyard and she was on-island, kidless. Would I be interested in heading over for the night?! Within one minute, my ferry was booked!
I typically don’t plan mini-vacations with friends. Life is busy and at times, it seems like more of a hassle to plan all that would be needed for me to make it happen. But this is my year of trying to Simply Better myself. And guess what? Trips with friends can actually boost your overall health. In the Mayo Clinic’s Friendships: Enrich your life and improve your health, there are 5 main reasons to hang out with your friends:
Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
Boost your happiness and reduce your stress
Improve your self-confidence and self-worth
Help you cope with traumas
Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits
And quite honestly, the laughter, reminiscing, and joy that emerge from just being alone with a friend makes it worthwhile too. So, next time a friend asks to go away, do it for your health!
We each have our own hopes and dreams, for ourselves and our families. As we go through life, our dreams take detours, find new paths or never reach the destination we first thought we wanted. Seasons change and so do we, but what typically remains constant is our why. However, we need to checkin with ourselves, revisit our why and see if our life aligns with it. Or has life taken its own turn, out of your control? Do we need to take back the wheel? Simply start with your why...
Why did we want a family?
Why do believe ___________ is important?
Why do we spend time__________?
Why are we spending money on___________?
Use these prompts to think and converse about why you make decisions, why you devote time to certain activities, why you spend time with specific people. Do they match up with your core beliefs or what’s essential to your unique family? Are you caught up in a cycle of keeping up with the Jones’?
Now’s the time to redirect your focus back on your family’s why…why you make family dinner a priority, why you speak kindly, why you travel, why your kids commit to one sport per season, why you serve others in your community. Other families don’t have the same essentials as you! Their whys are unique! But as long as you are living by your own why, you’ll be living a happier life.
Exploring Tulips in Bloom @ Stevens-Coolidge House & Gardens, North Andover
I LOVE summer! Who doesn’t? It’s a season of more relaxation, less business. A time to try new things, explore new places, make new foods. I always start the summer with a dream list of things I want to accomplish for myself and for my family…workout in the early mornings, go for a hike once a week, spend less time on personal devices. Unfortunately, my best intentions typically never amount to anything but a good thought. However, this summer will be different! Why? Well, I have been inspired by James Clear’sAtomic Habits, An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones. I started a Book Club earlier this year and this was the first book we read. The response was unanimous…it’s AMAZING!! Thought provoking yet practical. If you don’t have it, run to your local bookstore and read ASAP so you can use the summer to establish all those routines, hopes and dreams you’ve had for your family and finally implement them! Here’s how:
Start small. Atomic means an extremely small amount so this is your mantra…simple & small. Yes, you have grandiose ideas of what you want to accomplish, where you want to end up. But pause, reflect and think about where you can start. Think of the process of creating new habits as walking along a winding path in the woods. Visualize where the path leads and what it will look like at the end. Now prepare for your journey with incremental steps, knowing where you want to go. Establish new habits so that you will succeed in your endgame.
Make it Obvious. No guessing allowed-clear and concise goals, habits. Create an intention to implement your new habit. Pair your new, desired habit with a current one. This habit stacking is powerful and easy.
I want to go on more hikes with my family. After we finish dinner on Tuesdays (current habit), we go for a hike (new habit).
Take time to plan and setup your environment so that you will succeed. A family backpack is ready to go by the door with bug spray, sunblock, map, and trail mix for our hike.
Make it Attractive. New habits should be enticing!
Washing/vacuuming the car…family ice cream party!
Surround your family with others who have the habits you are trying to create. When summer arrives, attending Church every Sunday gets tough for us. How about inviting another family over for a BBQ after services?
Make it easy. What can you easily accomplish first along your path? Set your family up to succeed! This should be a painless, even joyful approach to making positive changes.
I want my family members to load their dirty dishes straight into the dishwasher instead of piling them up in the sink. I empty the dishwasher first thing in the morning so it’s ready. A a post-it note saying, “I’m ready to be filled!” greets them as a friendly reminder. The more they do this, the less they need my sign as it becomes automatic.
Make it Satisfying. Happiness=Repetition. If your family enjoys the new routine, they’ll be more apt to continue.
Cleaning up after dinner becomes a dance party with music!
Track your progress and celebrate accomplishments. Everyone loves to be rewarded for a job well done. Use a calendar to track your new habits and decide on a reward once you keep up with your habits for one week, two weeks, one month, etc.
A dog-walking schedule was created and after 1 week of no reminders of whose turn it was, the kids got to choose a new toy for our dog. Win-win, especially for our pup!
Remember, you are striving for Progress not Perfection, my favorite quote of the book! This is SO true not just for habits, but for raising our families. Use summer vacation to slowly and simply establish new habits, create new routines to essentially have more happiness together. ❤︎
As summer approaches, Summer Bucket Lists emerge! Hitting #1 on our family list, is PICNICS (to be quite honest, it was my idea..they know just to go along with it!). I dusted off my old picnic basket (over 30 years old) and started making plans for New England Summer Picnics 2022. Family picnics pack adventure, food, and quality time all in one. We spend the summers in Cape Cod so our basket is going to earn a lot of mileage as picnics give us a reason to explore uncharted territory, places we’ve been meaning to go, or simply occasions to celebrate.
But did you know there are actual health benefits to picnics? The Health Fitness Revolution says there are 10 reasons to pack one:
Being outdoors (time to explore!)
Family Bonding ♥︎ (Yes!!)
Enables conversation (perfect for families so leave the phones in the car!)
Time for self-reflection (good time to talk about any issues)
Fosters healthy eating (depends what you pack!)
Keeps you active (bring along paddles, football, spike ball)
Mood booster 😀
Relieves stress (every family can relate..being outside calms us all!)
Build stronger bones (who would have thought but vitamin D is from the sun!)
Saves $ (simple pleasures, not fancy outings)
@South Cape Beach, Cape Cod
We took our first picnic of the season on Memorial Day Weekend. With a few festive items to make it extra special and enticing, we headed to a ‘secret beach’ nearby. It’s not really a secret at all but it requires a drive down a long, BUMPY, not well-traveled dirt road that gives it the impression that it’s all ours. My mother had passed on pictures of my grandfather who served during WWII at the young age of 19. Soon after being enlisted, he was captured and became a POW for several years. He did return to his family, but so many others were not as fortunate. We took time to honor his memory, service, sacrifice and selflessness. Our first picnic was a testament to why I wanted to make them a priority this summer: simple pleasures for lasting memories.
the Essentialist Family 