Tag: essentialist family

Spring Renewal: Reimagine Your Living Space

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The vernal equinox…The clock springs ahead, crocuses bloom, and spring cleaning begins! In my home, I begin to reimagine the spaces my family lives in the most. After spending a lot of time indoors over the winter months, I reflect on how we used our spaces. What worked well? Where do we spend the most time? How can I make the rooms more functional? Do we really use that piece of furniture or can I donate it? The burst of energy I get from longer days is invigorating! And I put it to good use in rethinking my home. My family may say otherwise…it most likely drives them crazy!! However, I have found that little changes can make big differences in our daily lives. Remember my post about moving our piano into our foyer (https://wordpress.com/post/theessentialistfamily.com/885)? Well, there’s no doubt my children are pretty good pianists because of that simple move! This year, I realized that no matter how hard I try to move bodies into our dining room, people always congregate in our kitchen, which I love but I have a casual dining room with a much bigger table and unusable space! Instead of fighting this constant scenario, I decided to move our large farmhouse dining room table into our kitchen. Now the space is smaller and the table is large but it totally works! Everyone loves it and gathers around this table, which makes my heart happy. As we prepare meals, have a snack, or entertain friends, we are all together more comfortably. Instead of standing around the kitchen, eight people can easily sit around the table and linger. A minor moving project, although my husband and son may disagree, has turned into a huge win for our family and friends…one big table to sit around sharing stories, laughing, enjoying meals, and simply being together.❤︎ Side thought….what do I do with the dining room?!

Morning Calm

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Thoughtfulls For Kids from Live-Inspired.com

“Our life depends on the kind of thoughts we nurture. If our thoughts are peaceful, calm, meek, and kind, then that is what our life is like.”
― Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica, Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives: The Life and Teachings of Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica

School mornings can be hectic….fights for the bathroom, trying to bag healthy snacks and lunches, looking for homework that the dog may have eaten (this actually did happen in our house)…let the mayhem begin! But, you don’t have to start your day in a craze! Try these family-tested tips to make your mornings calmer and happier:

  1. Wake up with soothing music. Who enjoys having a blaring siren abruptly wake them from a sound sleep? No one! Set your alarm to a soft, soothing ringtone or play a classical song. Jazz may be the genre that makes you feel calm, so try playing it for your kids. Continue playing music while the kids make their beds, get dressed, and mosey their way to the kitchen to eat. Over time, they will register the soft, relaxing tunes with a calm, morning routine. (Read my latest post about lighting a scented candle to create more peace as well!)
  2. Set alarms earlier than needed. Alarms are a useful tool. They also decrease nagging done by parents. Teach your children to give themselves more time than they think they need to get ready in the morning. They will feel less rushed and can mentally handle the tasks at hand all in a more positive manner. Add different alarms for various tasks for instance a “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” to wake up then a twinkling sound to start getting dressed followed by a chime to head downstairs for breakfast.
  3. Display a schedule. Children need and like structure. Having a bulletin board, wipe-off board or calendar in a highly visible area such as the kitchen, is a great way to let your kids know what’s on the agenda for the day. Soccer practice at 4pm…What needs to be packed? After-school daycare….pack an extra snack. Not only are they mentally prepared for the day, but they can take an active role in getting themselves ready. Make the charts interactive so they physically have to check off a completed task and are ready to go!
  4. Leave a HAPPY note. Who doesn’t like to get a surprise note as a reminder that someone is thinking of them? Take a few minutes to write your kids a special note of love, a smiley face or an inspiring quote. Stick it on the bathroom mirror, put it in their shoe, or hide it in their backpack. Positive vibes will surely follow.
  5. Take deep breaths. When things are hectic, take a moment and take a deep breath. Have your children follow suit. It will supply the brain with fresh oxygen, provide a moment to pause and allow you to move on in a less crazed manner. Ahhhhhh!
  6. Say a prayer. Before your family goes off in their own direction, take a moment to pray. Recall a prayer that’s inspirational to your family, give thanks, ask for guidance, or simply keep someone else in your thoughts. You set the tone of your home, so remain at peace yourself and calm will follow❤︎

Some mornings will no doubt be better than others. But a 100% success rate is probably not possible! Set reasonable expectations with a reasonable timeline and you’ll be happily surprised how much smoother and calmer your days begin.

Book Takeaway: Joyful, the Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness

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March is National Reading Month so why not have a list of parenting books to have by your side for guidance, support and inspiration. This month’s blogs will focus on books I have on my shelf.❤︎

Slowing down, enjoying the simpler moments in our daily lives is a mission here at The Essentialist Family. I try to inspire other families to do just that! Months ago, I read Ingrid Fetell Lee’s, Joyful, The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness.  I can’t help but think if others read this, maybe they’ll notice the joy that surrounds each of us in the most basic ways.  Finding moments of joy with everyday objects can make us smile and will make long days a little brighter.    Fill your home with photos of family trips and adventures. Display those art projects from school instead of tossing or storing them in a bin. I use blue painter’s tape to stick drawings on our pantry door-instant smiles! My oldest is painting canvases in a fury so I stood them up along the wainscoting in our dining room for instant art for all to admire. As a family, we collect seas shells and rocks in the shape of hearts. We place them in glass jars, along windowsills and even on my writing desk to remind me of happy trips to different beaches. Even in a rough moment, a glance at those shells restores my peace and makes me smile.

Joy is individual-what gives me happiness, is not what brings you contentment.  Lee takes readers on a  journey of self-discovery; acknowledging joy in everyday pleasures or in the mundane.  “The problem is that without joy, we may be surviving, but we are not thriving.  If we rarely laugh or play, if we never have glimpses of magic or flashes of transcendence or bursts of celebration, then no matter how well fed and comfortable we are, we are not truly alive.”  Her Joyful Tooklit provides a step-by-step guide of joyfinding.  Couldn’t we all use a little more of joyfinding in our lives?! I’m not sure there’s a better activity to build connections with your loved ones but to discover what brings you joy together. Going on nature walks, taste-testing local ice cream, training for a 5K, serving lunch at a meal center, learning a new language, building a row boat or cooking for another family are all fun ways to discover joy. So, gather up your family and go joyfinding. ❤︎

Don’t forget to share what you discovered on Facebook at Lauri Diamantis. And kindly follow this blog for more tips of living Simply Happier❤︎

Our Piano Lives in the Foyer

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When you have kids, things don’t go as planned. The sooner you realize it, the easier time you’ll have. For me, I have come to learn that my home isn’t really mine at all. It belongs to my kids! Early on, the dining room was a playroom. The office was an art center. Half the kitchen housed a toy kitchen, kid sized table, and of course, a doll highchair. Our garage became stroller then tricycle now bicycle central. Add all the balls, beach toys, snow sleds and we are lucky to get our car into it. Yet, our home functions remarkably well because we adjust our environment to the ever-changing developmental stages of our three kids. Who needs a formal dining room anyway when you practically live in your kitchen?

When we moved into our current home over 12 years ago, we were bequeathed my mother’s piano. Movers placed it into our formal living room since there really wasn’t another space for it and there it sat. Occasional interested children would bang on the keys, but the piano simply waited to be dusted. “I don’t think the kids see it enough to want to play,” I declared to my husband. “Our house isn’t that big,” he replied. Out of sight, out of mind kept replaying in my head. “Let’s move it!”

Up two stairs and into the foyer we rolled the piano (yes, my husband and I moved it, which really wasn’t the best idea but this wasn’t thought out too well). The only wall big enough for it was under the stairs directly infront of the door. By all means, this was an interior decorator’s nightmare, but I had a hunch that this old piano was going to be brought back to life! And sure enough, I was right! All three kids passed by this piano many, many times a day to get to and from their bedrooms! Randomly tapping keys turned into sitting on the bench to opening a beginner’s piano book to asking for lessons. Years later, my oldest children play beautifully, oftentimes getting lost their music. Piano has become a form of relaxation but also a way for them to entertain. Annual Christmas concerts are planned, practiced and printed out on programs. These shows have become a most anticipated tradition. I always asks for this to be my gift as having my children perform together is one of my most precious memories. Musical interests have expanded to other instruments as well. My son plays the alto sax and a little bouzouki and likes to compose his own music. He has now started to DJ. Our home is constantly filled with music, the old piano keys creating happiness all times of the day. When I think back to one of the best mom moments I’ve had, putting the piano in our foyer is one of them. Rearranging our home to create opportunities for our kids was always a priority no matter how improper the spaces looked. Plus, I never wanted to be an interior designer anyway❤︎

Organizing Brings Happiness and Less Complaining

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Our ‘after’ pantry

I like to organize! I like to have a place for everything. My daughters have followed in my footsteps, but my son, not so much. We are heading into Lent and cleaning our home is part of our preparedness. This year, my 10yr old has been watching The Home Edit so our home is going through some major re-organization! It first started with my daughter’s room. I spent way too much on clear drawer containers so she could roll her clothes into neat, small bundles. Hours upon hours later she surfaced with a huge smile of accomplishment. She purged bags of clothes that did not fit, hammy downs that she would not wear, and trinkets that were long over due to be tossed. She gained 2 empty drawers, which she stored her hair accessories and jewelry so that the top of her dressers were free from clutter. WOW! I was amazed. Her happiness was contagious and soon we were on to tackle the kitchen pantry.

A trip to our local Home Goods shocked the cashier as she inquired what we could possibly do with all those bins! Honestly, the kitchen project took me a few days to mentally process before we began because I knew it would temporarily disrupt our daily lives. But with her enthusiasm gleaming, we jumped in. I even put a coat of glossy white paint on the shelves since it hadn’t been done in years! Together we sorted, color matched, and rearranged the most highly utilized part of our kitchen. And it is glorious! Something as simple as putting school snacks in a clear bin within easy reach makes mornings that much smoother! Moving nuts to the middle shelf within eye sight allows them to be chosen as a snack more often! Up went the pasta to the top shelf simply because I need to eat less pasta…and it worked! Who would have imagined organizing a pantry would make everyone in our home happier? Even my husband keeps saying he LOVES opening the doors as it looks pretty.

Why stop there? Kitchen drawers were my project one afternoon. My daughter tackled her bathroom closet. Then came refrigerator. Again, it’s incredible what a few clear bins can do to transform a space. We reimagined where food items could go and started with a clean slate. Veggies and fruit came out of the built-in produce drawers and we sorted them by color in the easy to reach middle of the fridge. Breads went into the drawers so they aren’t seen as easily or eaten as frequently. And guess what? We’ve been flying through our fruits and veggies simply because they are front and center. And when you sort by color, they look so nice!

Honestly, all I can say is start organizing the most used parts of your home right now! Think of your kitchen, mudroom, bedrooms, bathrooms. Take your time though…make it a month long project. Keep in mind, if you drag it on too long it won’t get done. Divide tasks, rooms and roles to make it a family affair. Plus, the more hands who contribute, the more ownership they’ll have and will aim to keep it organized along the way. And when people can find things, there’s less complaining, smoother mornings and bedtimes, less chaos, and fewer inquires of where things are. And that makes mom simple happier. ❤︎

If you enjoyed this post, follow my blog for more tips and thoughts on being an Essentialist Family….Simply Happier❤︎

Lauri

For inspiration check out: https://thehomeedit.com/

Our ‘after’ fridge

3 Ways to Create Calm Right This Minute!

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A few years back, a mom friend popped over after school. She walked in and looked around quite suspiciously. “Is this how your home is all the time?” she wondered. I didn’t know what she meant until she said her house was not as peaceful and her kids, not as calm. So I shared my thoughts on how I create calm in the chaos of life!

1.Turn down the lights or better yet, open the shades

Imagine coming home from a busy day at school, bombarded with tests, overwhelming assignments, navigating the social world of teens, hangry, and physically and emotionally exhausted. You fling open the door to your haven of home and are blinded by glaring florescent lights turned all the way up to BRIGHT. You squint! You bend your head away from the blinding light before a headache ensues. Not a comforting way to come home.

Instead, open the door to a kitchen with the blinds opened all the way up and natural light pouring in. The high hats are dimmed a tad, producing a glowing effect that brings a smile to a warm room. Is this ambiance any harder to create in your own home? Probably not, but lighting does make a large impact on how people feel. And after a long day at school and work, your family wants to come home and feel at ease, relaxed and happy to be together. Turn the lights down a notch to create this calming effect.

2.Light a candle

Using scent is a powerful calming technique. Lavender, vanilla, and rose can instantly bring calm one first sniff. I happen to look for beach inspired scents as anything beachy brings a relaxing vibe to our home. You can also try plug-in air fresheners, dried flowers, or essential oil diffusers to fill your home with longer lasting smells. I happen to prefer candles as the flicker of light also soothes–maybe even put on the fireplace for the same effect!

3.Turn on the music

Do you like waking up to a beeping, blaring alarm blasting at a high volume? Neither do I. Talk about jarring yourself into a state of panic rather than starting your day peacefully. Walking into a home filled with soft jazz, classical music, drumming or soothing sounds of a rainfall does produce calm almost instantaneously. “Music around 60 beats per minute can cause the brain to synchronize with the beat causing alpha brainwaves (frequencies from 8 – 14 hertz or cycles per second). This alpha brainwave is what is present when we are relaxed and conscious.”1 We constantly have music playing because I visibly see how it positively effects my family. Plus, when the volume is subtle, voices get softer. I asked for a record player a few Christmases ago and even though I only have a few albums, they work wonders! We also did get Sonos speakers for the main living areas just for this reason of creating a soothing environment.

So, what are you waiting for? Create a more calming home right now in 3 easy ways! Let me know how it went….

If you enjoyed this post, follow my blog for more tips and thoughts on being an Essentialist Family….Simply Happier❤︎

Lauri

1https://www.unr.edu/counseling/virtual-relaxation-room/releasing-stress-through-the-power-of-music

Pick Up the Phone!

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I have a house phone so all my kids can make calls.

I spoke with one my oldest friends this morning. The conversation lasted 1 hour and 4minutes. And let me tell you…the time flew by! While this is not typical, I thoroughly enjoyed spending time catching up about our children, hearing about upcoming birthday celebrations, talking through doctor appointments, devising strategies to deal with child organization, discussing which volunteering commitments give us joy, what we ate for breakfast and when we were making time for our workout routines. While she was on speaker, I emptied the dishwasher and refilled it, did 2 loads of laundry, tidied the kitchen, walked the dog and ate breakfast. This multi-tasking morning while conversing with a dear friend was just what we both needed. Our socio-emotional well-being increased tenfold!

Then I go to wondering how often my teens pick up the phone and talk to friends? RARELY!!! And it shocks me because it’s so nice to chat with friends and I don’t mean to chat via text but actually hear their voices, listen and feel their excitement in happy moments, and verbally console when disappointment strikes. I encourage my kids to call their friends yet they hardly do. “No one does that, mom” they firmly state. But why not? They should! Aren’t we trying to raise competent, contributing citizens? Well, they will in fact need to communicate effectively with others and not just by texting! Let’s encourage our kids to pick up the phone and start calling their friends and let’s go out on a limb and add extended family members.

My 10yr old talks every single day to my mother on the phone. And not just with me urging her to dial. She asks to use my phone to call or Facetime and they can talk for 20-30 minutes strong. She has become such a great conversationalist too! Because there can be awkward moments of silence… how does she break that? You can get stuck on what to discuss…so what else can you talk about? Some topics can be boring or uncomfortable…so how do you change course? All these skills are being developed by simply taking with Nana! So, let’s hand over our phones or start encouraging our kids to press the green Call button to talk it up! Their future selves will thank us 🙂

Relax, Release

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Take a deep breath in. Hold 1,2,3. Slowly, let it out. Relax your heart. Release.

My youngest daughter has a “worry” brain. That’s how we’ve come to name her anxiety ridden thought processes that weigh her down. It has been a struggle to have her ease her worries to live in a more calm, happy state. Some days are better than others, especially as she learns strategies to help. Maturity as well as the ability to verbalize her feelings, tiggers and concerns facilitates in getting her emotions under control.

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, by Michael Singer, is my most recent read in a genre I don’t typically grab. Yet, I loved it! There’s truth of going outside your comfort zone to experience joy in unexpected ways. As I dove into this journey of self-discovery, I realized that “if you protect yourself perfectly, you will never grow”(61). I couldn’t help but think of my daughter. I can’t protect her from troubling situations but I can guide her in how she copes. “Events don’t determine whether or not you’re going to be happy. They’re just events. You determine whether or not you’re going to be happy…if you can live this way, your heart will be so open and your Spirit will be so free, that you will soar up to the heavens (143). Simply, keep an open heart. When negativity, frustration, or disappointment arise, relax your heart and let these feelings flow freely through. Release the negativity. Try it! Because you know what? You will feel better. But it takes deliberate practice, self-awareness, and time. “Eventually you will see that the real cause of problems is not life itself. It is the commotion the mind makes about life that really causes problems” (10). And this is what I want to show my daughter…her mind is creating chaos. When she reframes the situation and renames her feelings, she is empowered and her outlook shifts. “That which is holding you down can become a powerful force that raises you up” (79).

7:15am. Bedside, I nudge my daughter from sleep. Eyes slowly open and then instantaneously turn red, watery, filling with tears. Not even 10 seconds have gone by since awakening. “What is it, my love?” I ask. “I have MAP testing,” she whimpers. Together, we took a deep breath in. Hold 1,2,3. Slowly, let it out. Relax your heart. Release. Out went the negative feelings. In came relief. She got up and started her day, tears drying up, a smile emerging. As Singer says, “You live in love and it feeds you and strengthens you” (57). ❤︎

Spreading Joy While Nurturing Your Soul

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“Joy is thankfulness, and when we are joyful, that is the best expression of thanks we can offer the Lord, Who delivers us from sorrow and sin.”
― Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica, Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives: The Life and Teachings of Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica

My posts in December were focused on simple gifts I can give my children as well as myself. My mind began tuning into the simple things I do for myself that I hadn’t realized were really important. They mostly go unseen, unnoticed except for this one….creating fresh floral arrangements. I’ve always loved flowers and gardens. I think part of that stemmed from the fact that I grew up in an apartment and wasn’t able to have a garden of my own. I yearned for one. My mother found a way of making our windowsills mini-gardens filled with potted plants. I adored helping her care for these beauties, watering and deadheading blooms. As I got older, I found that making simple bouquets of fresh flowers was a treat and a way to surround myself with colorful flowers. This gift continues today as I find any reason to create arrangements for my home. It gives me joy, pure and simple. I guess you can call it a hobby or a passion just to create something I love. I have come to gift my arrangements to friends and family for celebrations, surprises for neighbors, and to cheer up homebound seniors from our Church. It is a simple way to spread joy while nurturing my own soul in the process. With Valentine’s Day approaching, think about how your family can give happiness to others, but in a way that hones in on your strengths, interests or hobbies. What do you enjoy doing together? Crafts? Reading? Cooking? Think about curating family favorite books, tie with a bow and gift to a teacher. Put together your favorite family soup recipe with dry ingredients in a jar, and attach a recipe card to gift to a neighbor. Make a fleece-tied blanket for grandparents or elderly friends. Love chocolate? Try making your own for friends! You can add different flavors based on their preferences such as hints of coffee, peppermint or even jalapeno. Creating a gift together to pass on to people you care about will have lasting meaning for all of you. So while the majority of people are stopping at convenience stores to buy last-minute Valentine’s gifts, take time to bond with your family showing the value of using your time, talents and thoughtfulness for those you care about. And when in doubt, flowers do make people smile 🙂

Focus on Less, But Gain More

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The past few years have been focused on living a simpler life. I felt ragged with the hectic life of three kids and running the rat race to nowhere. 2020 was a good time to re-evaluate life, especially as a parent. What were my goals as a parent? How did I want my kids to remember our days together? Why were we signed up for SO many activities? With reprioritization, family life is in a much better place and I soon realized doing less is really about having much more.

Here’s what I did with my own kids and the results were incredible! We gained more peace in our home, quality family time, and an overall increase in joy.

Less: Nagging about cleaning their rooms, reminding them about homework, complaining that chores weren’t done

What worked: A wipe-off board was placed on the kitchen island that had daily reminders of tasks/chores to be completed. I gave 1 reminder about homework each night and let it go!! Now’s the time for them to become responsible for their own work, not when they have a revenue stream coming in to support a family. A chore chart was moved from an inconspicuous place in the laundry room to front and center in our kitchen. Do I like it there? Not at all but it gives them a visual cue and keeps me out of the process!

More: We gained happier interactions with one another because we weren’t focused on what was NOT completed yet. They gained confidence in accomplishing tasks on their own. They instituted a new routine of using visual reminders to keep them organized. This transferred to using their planners more for homework! Bonus!! Also, they started leaving me notes as reminders (order swim team gear) which alleviated their periodic frustration when I forgot to do something they needed!

Less: Cut down on activities/sports, get-togethers and unimportant meetings/clubs

What worked: As a family, we discussed how we were way TOO busy! Plus, there were only 2 drivers in the house which made my husband and I chauffers 5 nights per week. Also, what were we all truly getting out of these sports/activities/clubs/nonprofits? We made lists of pros/cons, likes/dislikes, musts/can live without, etc. This process was not overnight but something we discussed for a few weeks. Most of us came to agreements as to what to discard from our schedules, but a few were insistent on specific things. Learning to gracefully say, “No” to clubs, meetings and charity work if we weren’t 100% invested or didn’t realistically have the amount of time to commit took some getting used to.

More: Hands down, we gained more quality time as a family! Priceless! With less running around, we had less stress! There is definitely more calm in our home because we aren’t trying to squeeze 100 things into a single day. I found my kids are more committed to their selected sports/clubs because they gave something up to do them. We began to say, “No,” easier to things we truly didn’t want to do or that didn’t fit into our schedule because we had spent time prioritizing as a family. We began to feel respected more because we said, “No,” thoughtfully. Overall, family happiness, joy and satisfaction with life went up tenfold!

I can’t support the idea of a life reboot enough with the mindset of less but more! Your family is SO worth it! ❤︎

Yes, I Want My Kids to Fall (And Get Back UP)

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We are living in a helicopter parenting world. Parents hovering, making sure bad things don’t happen to their kids, choreographing every activity, curating playdates, and dismissing free-time as an important part of childhood. I have have found myself caught up in this protective cycle. But as my kids are getting older, I realize I need to prepare them for the real world…the one where I am not always around!! It doesn’t mean I will let them struggle alone, but instead by their side. I will struggle along with them providing coping skills, strategies and support so that when they fall, they get back up!

Our kids are going to face criticism, failure, and exclusion. It is hard to go through even as adults and even harder to watch our own children withstand less than ideal circumstances. But real life problems can be a positive. Walking the path of life together with our children allows us to use struggles as teachable moments. How can we best respond to being left off the JV Team? What can we do when we were excluded from a ‘best’ friends’ party? Where do we turn when a teacher keeps giving a B- even though you’re fulfilling all the boxes on the class rubric? These struggles provide opportunities for discussion, decision making, responding to emotions, asking for help, considering various options, and reflecting on what can be learned in these moments of disappointment.

How can I best prepare my teens for the impending real world? By letting them fall. While I’ll be by their sides for now, I hope they’ll soon be able to dust themselves off and get back up again all on their own!

Books to Read That Discuss the Importance of Struggle:

The Blessing of a B-, by Wendy Mogel

Parenting Toward the Kingdom, by Philip Mamalakis

I believe sharing experiences and learning new strategies are the ways we better ourselves as parents. If you think this blog will help other families on their journey of parenthood, please share the link. It takes a community to raise our kids and live simply happier.❤︎

Check out my new Facebook page!

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Advice to My Younger Self…Buy the Mini-van!

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Now that I’m in my mid40s, there are SO many things I wish I had done sooner! They say wisdom comes with age and I am definitely seeing that. Studies also show that woman are happier as they age. If anything, I see a confidence and contentment emerge that I didn’t necessarily have before. I had my first two children less than 1 1/2 years apart just when I hit 30. Life was busy and I was totally immersed in the toddler years then preschools years for what seemed like ages. Several of my friends had mini-vans and I was in awe of the space, all the cup holders, and automatic doors. Yet, I couldn’t bring myself to buy one. I had this “never” list in my head…never get a dog, never have more the 2 kids, and never, ever get a mini-van. Not sure how this mantra started but I stuck to it for years. Was I afraid to get older? What would happen if I altered this self-perception? Life was good with a Honda Accord, which turned into a Ford Explorer as we wanted more room. Life was incredible with two kids, but a yearning was there for more. Wouldn’t a dog be a great companion for our family even when I subconsciously knew I’d be the one letting it out, taking it on walks, scheduling vet and grooming appointments? Well, mid30s came and a third baby blessed our family. A few years later, our goldendoodle arrived. And yes, it’s true, I now happily and enthusiastically drive a min-van! What took me SO long?!! There’s so much space. And cup holders and storage galore. And a DVD to quiet those kids for the ‘are we there yet’ trips!! And as my son becomes a young man at 5ft 9in and growing, he has plenty of legroom anywhere he decides to sit. Seven high school sailors with lifejackets and gear off to a regatta? I’ll drive! (Which is awesome because I get to spend time with my teenagers and their friends since I can fit everyone…comfortably!) Oh, and the dog can spread out easily when I take out one of the middle seats-dog bed included! Essentially, it’s a mini-moving van that is going to come in real handy when packing up for college, which will be here before I know it. Now I’m not so sure I can live without the mini-van. I may never want to live without a mini-van as I have lived on the other side of the automatic doors. My new life mantra is, “Never Say Never” because some of life’s greatest blessings are the ones we never imagine. However, I will admit, when I am stopped in front of a store with mirrored glass and I catch a glimpse of a woman sitting in the driver’s seat, it still takes a second to realize it’s me. ❤︎

I believe sharing experiences and learning new strategies are the ways we better ourselves as parents. If you think this blog will help other families on their journey of parenthood, please share the link. It takes a community to raise our kids and live simply happier.❤︎

Check out my new Facebook page!

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Coffee Table is the New Family Hub

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Take inventory…what’s on your coffee table? And by coffee table I mean the table that’s in your family room, the table in front of your TV where feet gently rest or the remote finds a home. Mine is usually stacked with magazines that want to be read, stylish hardcover books that collect dust and candles (because I do love candles!). But more recently, I cleared off the table…a clean slate. With school starting, I realized time together as a family is going to be at a premium. For our home, that means TV viewing goes down tremendously so that we can actually spend time with one another!! Hence, we don’t watch television Monday-Thursday. It’s been our rule since the kids were young simply because I was tired of arguing with them about how much they could watch (I’ll write a post about this soon!) But the coffee table is still a focal point in our family room without the TV being used. So, how could we better use it? Out came Bananagrams. Now I don’t know the real way to play Bananagrams, if there is one. We just put letter tiles out and make words. But we don’t clean them up! I found if we leave the words and letters on the table, the kids will sporadically pop over and sit to add words. Then comes another child with a parent and soon enough we are gathered by the coffee table. I then took a bowl of colorful pattern blocks and left them off to the side. Now creativity takes over and beautiful designs are created as we sit and chat together. Can your coffee table become your new family hub?

I believe sharing experiences and learning new strategies are the ways we better ourselves as parents. If you think this blog will help other families on their journey of parenthood, please share the link. It takes a community to raise our kids and live simply happier.❤︎

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Standing Tall in Sunday’s Best

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Have you taken a look around lately and noticed how casual clothing has become? A typical outfit for my teenagers is sports shorts and a t-shirt, possibly with a hooded sweatshirt. I easily fall into this very informal category wearing workout clothes, when in fact, I’m not usually exercising. The pandemic did not help this matter at all. We were given a great excuse to live at home comfortably in pjs for at least 6 days a week. Sunday was the only day we did get dressed up. We are Greek Orthodox and our Church community does get fairly dressed up for service. Men wear suits or jackets, women wear skirts or dresses, boys wear button-down shirts or polos with khakis while girls put on dresses. I have come to truly appreciate the level of formality that comes with attending Church as a family. This past weekend, I watched my children walk into a Church that was new to us. I couldn’t help but notice they stood a little taller, strolled confidently, and greeted everyone with a smile.

“Individuals dressed professionally exhibit significantly greater measures of self-perception, compared to those in both casual attire and their own clothing. By simply wearing professional outfits, (students) had higher self-esteem, self-efficacy.”1 Is dressing up a skill we should teach our children more regularly?

My kids actually like getting ready for Church. It is their norm. No arguing, no squirming saying the clothing is uncomfortable; it’s simply expected. I’ve now transferred this ‘looking nice’ attire for when we go out to restaurants. First of all, it is getting increasingly expensive to eat out as a family of five and I want them to acknowledge that it’s a special event when we do venture out. If putting on nicer clothes helps them feel better and even act better, then maybe Sunday’s best should be worn the other 6 days per week?!

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http://psychlearningcurve.org/dress-to-impress/

Expert Kids Take Sail

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Jib, tack, trapping, beam reach, turtled, wing on wing…All jargon to me, but not to my teenagers. They teach me about the world of sailing, specifically racing 420s. They become the experts, showing me the ropes or knots of this sport. They take pride in knowing more than me and I let them take ownership of explaining the complexities, navigating the rules, and making sense of watching 65 boats on a race course at sea.

When was the last time your children taught you a skill? Now, my kids teach me many things each and every day such as patience and how many loads of laundry is possible with a family of five. But I’m talking about a tangible skill or facts that may amaze you or knowledge that you once knew but seem to forget quickly these days. Think of those preschoolers who memorize all the scientific names of dinosaurs or the rapid creation of a video game using code you don’t possibly fathom by your middle schoolers. Instead of overlooking the technicalities of their knowledge, celebrate it. Have them become the experts and teach you all that they know, well at least one area at a time. Take the passenger seat and try not to interject your ideas too often. Simply enjoy watching your child take pride, develop confidence, expand their expertise, work through problems, grow trust, and see the light in their eyes as they share what they love with you.

For the next few weeks, you’ll find me harborside throughout Cape Cod, binoculars in hand, cheering on two sailors waiting for them to come ashore and explain what I was even watching. The wind is in their sails ❤︎

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https://wonderopolis.org/wonder/what-can-children-teach-their-parents