Tag: Family

Perfectly Imperfect

Posted in Christian, Family, Happiness, Joy, Orthodox Parenting, parenting, simple joys, Simple moments, the little momentsTagged , , , , Leave a comment
Family sculpture, Oaks Bluff Martha’s Vineyard

My friend, Lori, teasingly points out all the times I feel moments are, “Perfect.” How’s the weather? Perfect. How’s your coffee? Perfect. How’s vacation? Perfect. I didn’t realize how often I said it but then I thought about what it meant. The Oxford dictionary defines perfect as ‘having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.’ So when I am sitting on a beach, under an umbrella, watching my kids play in the water, the moment to me is perfect. Each of our own criteria for perfection differs so my ideal beach day may be a flop to you.

I realized I’m also quick to capture a perfect moment; not necessarily a whole day but a little snapshot, in the moment kind of way. I’ve come to appreciate those little things that truly are most important…when my husband grabs hold of my hand as we walk the dog through our neighborhood- prefect. When I see my youngest crocheting alongside her nana- prefect.

So, is my life perfect? Absolutely not!! I’m perfectly imperfect right alongside my perfectly imperfect children, husband, and dog. But all our perfectly imperfect moments make me cherish this one and unique life that has been given to me. And that is simply perfect!❤️

Midlife Reevaluation

Posted in Family, Greek Orthodox Parenting, Little Moments, motherhood, Orthodox Parenting, Parenthood, parenting, self-improvement, simply better yourself, UncategorizedTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment
2 Paths

I think I was about 45 when I started thinking about wanting a change in my life. I had been a home mom for 17 years. Actually, I never had planned or wanted to stay home but our situation evolved into that being the best plan for our growing family. My children were getting older, college was on the horizon and my role was changing. I was restless. What did I want to do? It was a time of reflection, an honest assessment of my strengths and areas to build on, as well as trying to determine what jobs were realistic during school hours. The more women I talk with about this time in our lives, the more I find I’m not alone. I hate to coin this time in my life as a midlife crisis because it was not a catastrophe. I viewed it as a period where my mom duties at home were shifting allowing new doors to open. Time was available to develop an identity beyond mother. What were my interests in my forties? How did I want to spend my time? For me, I didn’t necessarily want to start a career. Instead, I wanted to serve. I wanted a purpose to fill my days outside of my home. It was a sense of fulfillment I was seeking quite possibly because my nurturing persona wasn’t needed in the same way anymore. It’s been a few years since I started on this journey of reevaluation and while I did go back to work as a reading interventionist in an inner-city Catholic school, my soul is partially fulfilled. What I’ve come to acknowledge is that this journey is changing all the time, right alongside the metamorphosis of my almost 50-year-old self as well as my almost empty nester family. I have to stop myself from trying to have it figured out. Serving in my role works now but I’m flexible in that tomorrow it may not. What fulfills my heart in this moment, may leave it searching for different meaning next month. I’m not scared anymore. I’m not even restless. And this is quite a gift that midlife has brought. I’m content to explore opportunities, change my mind, and simply be. When your path diverges, where will you go? ❤︎

Hugs and More Hugs

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My older two ❤️

We were away with another family when their daughter saw my two hugging and shockingly exclaimed, “You two hug?” Mine looked at one another surprisingly and replied, “Yeah!” I guess I take for granted that we’re an affectionate family. Brother hugs his sisters without prompting! Dad hugs both his son and daughters to show his love. We cuddle with our dog, curl up to next to one another while watching movies and my husband and I stroll hand in hand.

I actually felt sad my friend’s daughter doesn’t randomly hug her own brothers. No doubt they love each other but sometimes there’s nothing like a warm embrace from those you care most about.❤️

Encouraging Disagreement

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Several years ago, I started a non-fiction book club among friends focusing on reading self-improvement books to simply better ourselves (that’s our motto!). This past spring, we read Think Again, by Adam Grant. Pack it into your beach bag because it’s a must-read on so many levels. As a parenting enthusiast, as I call my passion for becoming a better parent, I couldn’t help but appreciate the importance of creating a home environment where family members are encouraged to disagree. Yes, you heard this right…bring on the arguments! Well, wait a second. Kids need to be guided through how to voice their opinions in a constructive way, especially opinions that go against other’s views. It’s important that they learn to stand up for themselves in a safe place, gaining confidence to bring their voice into the larger world. “Being able to have a good fight doesn’t just make us more civil; it also develops our creative muscles” (80). Good debating skills allow us to make valid claims for our point while also acknowledging where the other side is coming from and at times, negating their theory with examples. Practice does make more effective disagreeing so don’t not fight in front of your kids. They need to see the working out, talking through, compromising, and changing one’s viewpoint in a realistic way. “Productive disagreement is a critical life skill,” says Grant. “Task conflict can be constructive when it brings diversity of thought…it can help us stay humble, surface doubts, and make us curious about what we can be missing. That can lead us to think again, moving us closer to the truth without damaging our relationships” (80). So, the next time you want to run into the bedroom and shut the door so your kids don’t hear you argue with your husband….think again!

Sleepaway Camp

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For several years now, my children have ventured to a one week, religious sleepaway camp on a serene lake in New Hampshire. Days are filled with traditional camp games, bond fires, chatting between bunkbeds, swimming, and making new friends. But they also spend lots of time in a quaint tiny Church beside the lake attending services, reading the Bible, praying, and journaling their thoughts about life as well as their personal relationship with God. My kids LOVE their week at camp. It invigorates their faith, renews the importance of alone time with God, connects Greek Orthodox youth, and simply delights their souls. Sign me up!

Spring Renewal: Reimagine Your Living Space

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The vernal equinox…The clock springs ahead, crocuses bloom, and spring cleaning begins! In my home, I begin to reimagine the spaces my family lives in the most. After spending a lot of time indoors over the winter months, I reflect on how we used our spaces. What worked well? Where do we spend the most time? How can I make the rooms more functional? Do we really use that piece of furniture or can I donate it? The burst of energy I get from longer days is invigorating! And I put it to good use in rethinking my home. My family may say otherwise…it most likely drives them crazy!! However, I have found that little changes can make big differences in our daily lives. Remember my post about moving our piano into our foyer (https://wordpress.com/post/theessentialistfamily.com/885)? Well, there’s no doubt my children are pretty good pianists because of that simple move! This year, I realized that no matter how hard I try to move bodies into our dining room, people always congregate in our kitchen, which I love but I have a casual dining room with a much bigger table and unusable space! Instead of fighting this constant scenario, I decided to move our large farmhouse dining room table into our kitchen. Now the space is smaller and the table is large but it totally works! Everyone loves it and gathers around this table, which makes my heart happy. As we prepare meals, have a snack, or entertain friends, we are all together more comfortably. Instead of standing around the kitchen, eight people can easily sit around the table and linger. A minor moving project, although my husband and son may disagree, has turned into a huge win for our family and friends…one big table to sit around sharing stories, laughing, enjoying meals, and simply being together.❤︎ Side thought….what do I do with the dining room?!

Simply Smile

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Start your day off with a smile. Open your eyes, take a deep breath, then smile ear to ear.

When your children first wake up…smile at them! This day is going to be wonderful because you greeted them with pure happiness and love all bundled up in a simple smile. ❤︎

And guess what? They’ll pass that smile on…and on..and on throughout their own day.

Simply smiling makes everyone’s day brighter. Pass it on…