I don’t do it enough. When I do, I wish I did it more. It’s always fun and filled with laughter or sometimes tears. But it feels so good! Going out with the ladies for lunch is one thing I aim to do more this season. Nothing fancy, but a salad in an outside cafe. Good conversation overflows, life problems attempt to be solved, much-liked podcasts are shared, heartfelt stories about loved ones are honestly put on the table for all to support. We share dilemmas faced with aging family as caregiving shifts from the young to the old. We shed light on our faith, seeking God to continue to guide us and continuously grateful for our blessings. We sit for hours as time flies by, my heart overflowing for these women who grace my life. Ordinary moments that are often overlooked, and not done enough. No particular reason or specific milestone celebration causing us to schedule a lunch together yet our friendship should be the best reason of all! ❤︎
Cheers to a new year of simply bettering yourself!
I’ve been MIA…sorry! Life happens and sometimes not in a good way. I herniated a disc in my back months ago and it took a long time to feel well enough to even want to write again. The pain was tremendous and effected every facet of my life. Yet through it all, I prayed…
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”Psalm 46:1.
I have come to see that years of putting off taking care of myself is wrong. It hurts myself and my family and there is no excuse. I am blessed with good health and function, yet I take it for granted. I believe I got injured for a reason. I needed pain to stop being in the cycle of taking care of everyone around me before I even thought about what I needed. I stopped needlessly worrying about mundane tasks, unimportant events, and unfulfilling relationships. I focused on what was essential to me and my loved ones.
One of my realizations was that now was the time to simply better myself…little steps each day to physically, spiritually and emotionally make me a stronger person. First up was starting my day with inspiration. Before I got out of bed, I read my devotional, wrote about the things I was grateful for, even when first thoughts were self-pity, anger and disappointment. Yet, I did encourage myself to dig deeper. look wide-eyed around me for all the goodness. Next, I was able to focus on my health…a 10-minute routine from my physical therapist on stretching my body is now what I do before I leave the house! This simple new habit led to joining a local gym so I could get into a warm therapy pool to ease the pain and foster healing even more. Now, I can say I’m a gym-regular and can’t imagine my days without it!! Why do bad things need to happen for us to truly focus on what’s important? I have worn out my emotional ‘battery’ on minutia for years and I am trying to stop because it is truly not worth it.
So, why am I telling you all this?? Because I want you to
Simply Better Yourself!
Seek out 1 small, easy way to make today better for yourself…not for others, but for you! Will you eat a healthier snack, go for a walk instead of watching TV, call a friend to catch up, sign up for that yoga class you’ve been dreaming about, or make a home-cooked meal instead of eating out? What is 1 thing you can do right now to Simply Better Yourself? I am definitely stronger, happier and healthier due to the little changes I strive to make each day. Will you join me?!! ♥︎
I have always loved learning, loved school; that’s one of the main reasons I became a teacher. During my years as a homemom, I was always finding ways to better myself. I would take online seminars from my alma mater staying abreast the newest technology, I enrolled in a Life Coach certification program to gain insight into how to inspire others and I ALWAYS read! Reading continues to enlighten, guide and transform me in whatever season of life I’m in.
Recently, my 76-year-old mother took up knitting. She is a very accomplished croceter, but knitting was new. While she has found it challenging, she feels it’s ‘good for her brain’ to keep learning new things. And what an example she sets for me AND her grandchildren. They watch in awe as she patiently tries and retries to learn a new skill. She makes mistakes, gets better, gets frustrated but keeps going. It’s this lifelong learning that keeps her young in spirit, relevant, and simply happy. I can’t help but think of all the things she has learned over three-quarters of a century and how that has shaped this amazing person we call Nana. So for the sake of inspiring your children to simply be better, try something new yourself! Hmmm…I have an idea…
Do you ever put off what really needs to be done with other simple, mindless or even pleasant activities? I have come to realize that I do it a lot when it’s time to exercise! I find myself putting in another load of laundry, or organizing the linen closet or sweeping the garage. I definitely get sidetracked but I recently learned that what I do has a name… productive procrastination. This doesn’t mean that because it has a name, it’s ok to put off exercising. In fact, it has had the opposite effect! Now I realize what I’m doing…color-coding our monthly calendar can wait until I strength train for 45 minutes! And guess what? The calendar still gets done and I feel stronger, physically and mentally! So, the next time you put off doing that thing that you don’t really like doing…..pause…. and think about how your productive procrastination isn’t that beneficial. Call yourself out on it and then get the real job done!!
I think I was about 45 when I started thinking about wanting a change in my life. I had been a home mom for 17 years. Actually, I never had planned or wanted to stay home but our situation evolved into that being the best plan for our growing family. My children were getting older, college was on the horizon and my role was changing. I was restless. What did I want to do? It was a time of reflection, an honest assessment of my strengths and areas to build on, as well as trying to determine what jobs were realistic during school hours. The more women I talk with about this time in our lives, the more I find I’m not alone. I hate to coin this time in my life as a midlife crisis because it was not a catastrophe. I viewed it as a period where my mom duties at home were shifting allowing new doors to open. Time was available to develop an identity beyond mother. What were my interests in my forties? How did I want to spend my time? For me, I didn’t necessarily want to start a career. Instead, I wanted to serve. I wanted a purpose to fill my days outside of my home. It was a sense of fulfillment I was seeking quite possibly because my nurturing persona wasn’t needed in the same way anymore. It’s been a few years since I started on this journey of reevaluation and while I did go back to work as a reading interventionist in an inner-city Catholic school, my soul is partially fulfilled. What I’ve come to acknowledge is that this journey is changing all the time, right alongside the metamorphosis of my almost 50-year-old self as well as my almost empty nester family. I have to stop myself from trying to have it figured out. Serving in my role works now but I’m flexible in that tomorrow it may not. What fulfills my heart in this moment, may leave it searching for different meaning next month. I’m not scared anymore. I’m not even restless. And this is quite a gift that midlife has brought. I’m content to explore opportunities, change my mind, and simply be. When your path diverges, where will you go? ❤︎
Walking along the beach is my haven in the summer months. I used to feel it was selfish to steal a quiet stroll alone. But now I have come to understand that this solitude is a gift not just to myself, but for the ones I love.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s, Gift from the Sea, honestly discusses the huge demands placed on modern American women. While she hopes that we will learn to embrace simplicity, she also reminds us of the importance of being alone. Many of us have to re-learn what it means to even be alone as years have been given to juggling school, child rearing, careers, community service, and cultivating a home. “It is a difficult lesson to learn today-to leave one’s friends and family and deliberately practice the art of solitude for an hour or a day or a week…And yet, once it is done, I find there is a quality to being alone that is incredibly precious. Life rushes back into the void, richer, more vivid, fuller than before” (36).
Why do women especially find it hard to make time to be alone? Solitude can differ immensely from person to person both in quantity and in essence. I have created a new morning routine for myself over the past year. I’ve always been an early riser but now before I get up to accomplish my list of tasks, I deep breath for a few moments, then read my devotional. The positive affirmations shape my day, focus my mindset. In a way, I feel rejuvenated and excited to greet what is yet to come. But something so small took many, many, many years to start…why? It is the acknowledgment of the essentiality of making solitude a priority that needs to shift for mothers. No guilt. No excuses. Simply because it makes us better versions of ourselves. “Only when one is connected to one’s own core is one connected to others” (38). Now maybe that means making time for a daily workout, painting, going to yoga, gardening in your yard, walking in the woods, sipping tea before anyone else wakes up, journaling before turning off the lights for bed…find what soothes your soul. My 15-minute daily wakeup devotional is what I need, but maybe it’s one hour a day for you or one hour per week or even one weekend a year.
My husband and I have found it essential in our marriage to find time without the children. Even when he was a resident, money was scarce and we were away from family, he found a kind-hearted woman working in one of his clinics who would watch our babies one night a week for $5/hour. I recently reached out to her, 15 years later, and expressed my gratitude again as I reflected on what has helped my marriage remain strong…finding time to be alone even when life doesn’t seem to want to make that possible. Now that our kids are older, date night has come back regularly since we don’t need babysitters (what a treat in itself!). We also faithfully take a trip once a year, alone. Some years it will be a fancy vacation, while other times it’s just a weekend in the mountains or simply the kids staying over at Nana and Pa’s. With our 20-year anniversary next week, I know that our commitment to us as a couple has inevitably contributed to our happiness.
Mothers, you do not have to be walking alone among the sand dunes to find solitude; it is within reach every single day. Make a little time for only yourself, and in doing so, you are giving more to those you love.
the Essentialist Family 