Tag: gifts to your child

Who are your kids’ people?

Posted in Children, Christian, Family, Family coaching, frienship, Greek Orthodox Parenting, Joy, mindfulness, motherhood, Orthodox Parenting, parentingTagged , , , , , , , Leave a comment

The African saying, ‘It takes a village to raise a child’ is so true and may ring even more true as they get older. My son graduated from high school a few weeks ago and had a ceremony at church honoring seniors. Our church pews were filled with people who watched our family grow and mature over the last 15 years. My husband and I observed our son greet fellow parishioners with heartfelt gratitude as they wished him well and showered him with blessings on his next phase in life.

We watched him shake hands with a man who has been his mentor as a Dj, offering business and life-advice, taking him under his wing. We saw him embrace a woman who has been his biggest cheerleader, encouraging him to continue being involved in the young adult Greek community in Boston. He hugged our priest, sharing a special moment as he has worked side-by-side on the altar serving in faith for many years.

At some point in the adolescent years, our kids listen better to others. It’s a normal part of their development and I saw how it can visibly be a positive source of support, motivation, and confidence building. These adults inevitably helped shape his course in life, helped mold his identity, and were vital in his maturing into the young man he has become. It does make you, as parents, realize just how essential it is to surround your children with people you respect, admire, and trust. It is these people your teens and young adults will emulate…know these people, believe in these people, love these people for they will do the same for your children.❤︎

What’s sweeter than candy for your kids on Valentine’s Day?

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Is Valentine’s Day really a holiday? How did we get caught up in buying overpriced flowers, needless candy, and $10 cards? Don’t get me wrong, I do stop at my local chocolatier and purchase a small piece for my kids and hope I get one too!! And there is much I do appreciate about February 14th… It’s a reminder to let people know how you feel about them. Reach out to those friends you haven’t checked in with for a while, write teachers a note of gratitude or do something thoughtful for those you love. Simply hug a little tighter, say “I love you” a lot more, and thoughtfully show your love.

This year, I wrote qualities that I admire about each of my children on heart-shaped sticky notes and put them on their bedroom doors. When they started their days, I wanted them to be reminded of why they are loved and what makes them special! At the end of the day, the candy wrappers will be thrown in the garbage, flowers wilted away, but I hope that the words of love and value will remain in their hearts for much longer. ♥︎

Simple Gifts to My Children: Gratitude

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❤︎The series of entries in December will be short essays on simple gifts you can give your children each and every day. During this season of light, hope, and love, I will share my own stories to inspire reflection and possibly spark small changes in your family as we focus on what’s truly essential.

“Thank you!” Two small words that are always nice to hear. We are quick to say thanks to a worker at the supermarket or wait staff at a restaurant. We pass along a wave of thanks to our crossing guard in the morning and the receptionist on the phone after scheduling an appointment. But how many times a day do you give a sincere, “Thank you” to your loved ones?

Positive reinforcement goes a long way, especially with highlighting all the good things your children do. I am showering my kids with gratitude for picking up after themselves, helping around the house without being asked, and remembering they have appointments or sport meets and being prepared accordingly. I am grateful that at this point in parenthood, they have become incredibly independent. I want them to know that I am completely proud and thankful for their help and responsibility. And to be honest, it also frees up my mental capacity to focus on other tasks because they have things under control!

And the more I say, “Thank you!” the more they do!! While they’re overall polite children, they have been acknowledging the smaller things. “Thanks, mom for driving me to Launch.” “I appreciate the gas money, mom!” (Well, gas money these days isn’t small!!) Even better, they are appreciating one another even more and verbally say it. It makes my heart full when I hear the grateful comments between siblings, strengthening the bonds that will carry them into adulthood.

During Thanksgiving, we kept a gratitude pumpkin. It sat on our kitchen table and during dinner we wrote something we were grateful for. My initial goal was to write on it every night, but reality made it only possible 3 or 4 times per week. However, that still had a positive impact. My youngest would especially love reminding us it was time to share. Being grateful for things evolved into being more aware of our surroundings such as sunlight in cold, dark New England or small acts of kindness such as turning over someone’s laundry. Or something my husband wrote that we all may take for granted, “Family to come home to.”

Gratitude is simple, free and profoundly loving. The more you share how grateful you are for the unique individuals they are and what they do to contribute to your family, the more all of those attributes will flourish. This simple Christmas gift will continue to spread joy well after the season is over.

❤︎And please know that I am very grateful for all The Essentialist Family readers. You make time to read my blog, and make comments and reach out to me. You make my hobby worthwhile and fill a special place in my heart. Truly, thank you! ~Lauri

Simple Gifts for My Children: Asking for Forgiveness

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❤︎The series of entries in December will be short essays on simple gifts you can give your children each and every day. During this season of light, hope, and love, I will share my own stories to inspire reflection and possibly spark small changes in your family as we focus on what’s truly essential.

My daughter had done extremely poorly on an exam…failed it. My first reaction was blame- Did you not study enough? Did you not read all 17 short stories? Did you go for help? I was judgemental and quick to react…all my shortcomings, I admit. As I looked at my daughter I could see she was distraught. She had studied and prepared and it was hard and she felt horrible. I knew I needed to apologize. Now was not the time to question, but instead, be there as a shoulder to comfort.

“Will you forgive me?” I asked. “I did not handle that well. I can tell you are upset about the results of your test and my response did not help. Let’s talk about what you can do about this after dinner. I love you.” We hugged and moved on. I sighed heavily because I was truly sorry. While I was disappointed that she failed an exam, what she’ll remember more is how I responded to the situation. She is a responsible, hardworking student so this was not a normal occurrence. I want her to be able to come to me when things go wrong, when she has trouble, when real problems occur because in the grand scheme of life, this was not a big problem. But to her, in this moment, it was a big deal! I think that’s why it sat so heavy on my shoulders.

Yet, the power of forgiveness is powerful. I want my children to hear my apologies each and every day because I do make them. We all do. We are imperfect humans! What shows our strength and humility is our sincere, “I’m sorries.” And I want them to hear me asking for forgiveness for both little things and big ones too. It’s creating a better habit of admitting faults aloud. While that’s not easy for us all to do, I find it becomes easier the more one does it. I do believe our faith affirms this power of forgiveness and makes our family bonds even stronger. And when I admit my faults and accept responsibility, my children follow in my footsteps. Not always, but more often than not. I am shaping future mothers, a father, spouses, co-workers, and neighbors. I hope they too will continue to ask for forgiveness while granting mercy to those around them. What a beautiful Christmas gift ❤︎