I don’t do it enough. When I do, I wish I did it more. It’s always fun and filled with laughter or sometimes tears. But it feels so good! Going out with the ladies for lunch is one thing I aim to do more this season. Nothing fancy, but a salad in an outside cafe. Good conversation overflows, life problems attempt to be solved, much-liked podcasts are shared, heartfelt stories about loved ones are honestly put on the table for all to support. We share dilemmas faced with aging family as caregiving shifts from the young to the old. We shed light on our faith, seeking God to continue to guide us and continuously grateful for our blessings. We sit for hours as time flies by, my heart overflowing for these women who grace my life. Ordinary moments that are often overlooked, and not done enough. No particular reason or specific milestone celebration causing us to schedule a lunch together yet our friendship should be the best reason of all! ❤︎
Yes, life has big moments that are to be celebrated. But there are many, many little moments in between. And somehow we forget that these little ones are really important. Cheers to pausing and noting all the little things in our lives that are so very essential to our happiness…
✹chosen friends that become family
✹backyard bbqs
✹a sunny day
✹impromptu cornhole tournament
✹dance party in the kitchen bc a good song came on
✹a beach day!
✹empty day on the calendar
✹long weekend
✹long-overdue catch-up phone call
✹family walk
✹unexpected visit
✹good book
✹new recipe that becomes a family favorite
✹surprise flower delivery
✹tiring workout
✹s’mores by the outdoor fireplace to end the night
Is Valentine’s Day really a holiday? How did we get caught up in buying overpriced flowers, needless candy, and $10 cards? Don’t get me wrong, I do stop at my local chocolatier and purchase a small piece for my kids and hope I get one too!! And there is much I do appreciate about February 14th… It’s a reminder to let people know how you feel about them. Reach out to those friends you haven’t checked in with for a while, write teachers a note of gratitude or do something thoughtful for those you love. Simply hug a little tighter, say “I love you” a lot more, and thoughtfully show your love.
This year, I wrote qualities that I admire about each of my children on heart-shaped sticky notes and put them on their bedroom doors. When they started their days, I wanted them to be reminded of why they are loved and what makes them special! At the end of the day, the candy wrappers will be thrown in the garbage, flowers wilted away, but I hope that the words of love and value will remain in their hearts for much longer. ♥︎
Cheers to a new year of simply bettering yourself!
I’ve been MIA…sorry! Life happens and sometimes not in a good way. I herniated a disc in my back months ago and it took a long time to feel well enough to even want to write again. The pain was tremendous and effected every facet of my life. Yet through it all, I prayed…
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”Psalm 46:1.
I have come to see that years of putting off taking care of myself is wrong. It hurts myself and my family and there is no excuse. I am blessed with good health and function, yet I take it for granted. I believe I got injured for a reason. I needed pain to stop being in the cycle of taking care of everyone around me before I even thought about what I needed. I stopped needlessly worrying about mundane tasks, unimportant events, and unfulfilling relationships. I focused on what was essential to me and my loved ones.
One of my realizations was that now was the time to simply better myself…little steps each day to physically, spiritually and emotionally make me a stronger person. First up was starting my day with inspiration. Before I got out of bed, I read my devotional, wrote about the things I was grateful for, even when first thoughts were self-pity, anger and disappointment. Yet, I did encourage myself to dig deeper. look wide-eyed around me for all the goodness. Next, I was able to focus on my health…a 10-minute routine from my physical therapist on stretching my body is now what I do before I leave the house! This simple new habit led to joining a local gym so I could get into a warm therapy pool to ease the pain and foster healing even more. Now, I can say I’m a gym-regular and can’t imagine my days without it!! Why do bad things need to happen for us to truly focus on what’s important? I have worn out my emotional ‘battery’ on minutia for years and I am trying to stop because it is truly not worth it.
So, why am I telling you all this?? Because I want you to
Simply Better Yourself!
Seek out 1 small, easy way to make today better for yourself…not for others, but for you! Will you eat a healthier snack, go for a walk instead of watching TV, call a friend to catch up, sign up for that yoga class you’ve been dreaming about, or make a home-cooked meal instead of eating out? What is 1 thing you can do right now to Simply Better Yourself? I am definitely stronger, happier and healthier due to the little changes I strive to make each day. Will you join me?!! ♥︎
“You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy.” -Psalm 16:11
How many times have you questioned what you are doing in life? Career? Relationships?
The other morning, I was walking with a friend and mentioned how I felt I wasn’t fully content. I felt I was being guided to do something new…again! She simply shrugged and said, “Welcome to life!” Many of us have this feeling of evolution or re-evaluation and it may not be part of our own ‘plan.’ But then I realize, this life isn’t my plan alone…God has a plan for my unique journey, more miraculous than I can imagine. So on the days life is tougher than I’d like, I remember it’s all part of His path for me. This calms me, focuses my worried brain, and helps me embrace the phase I’m in knowing it’s all taken care of. My heart can be happy because a road has already been paved and I can enjoy the ride.
“Do not love the world or anything in the world.” -John 2:15
Enjoying a rare sighting of the Northern Lights from our home in New England.
I have two teenagers and a tween. Keeping them focused on what truly matters takes work. It’s a constant conversation about the newest iPhones, stylish clothes, trendy shows. Fortunately, I was never ‘hip’ when it came to that stuff. I always liked to go to bed early so never stayed up to watch the most talked about shows. My mom didn’t have money to splurge on popular clothing items so it wasn’t even an option. This carried me into adulthood with not wanting a lot of worldly items or staying current on pop culture. It just wasn’t important to me. Fast forward to parenthood and I have kids who hear about lots of things that I don’t find essential. But do they? Living by example hopefully encourages them to reflect on what’s truly vital in living a full, joyous life. What I do know for sure is that they value our family, our faith, serving others, helping one another, having fun a the beach, cooking together, constructing puzzles, taking hikes, and cuddling with our dog. And these are most worldly to me.
One of my dearest childhood friends lives in SoJo (Southern New Jersey). It’s a wonderful community; one in which I lived for years. I speak to this friend quite often because we fill each other in on all of life’s moments: big and small, happy and sad, disappointing and surprising, mundane and extraordinary. When she answered my call the other morning, I knew in an instant that something in her voice was off. She was not ok. I listened to her share, comforting, and reassuring that I’m here even though so very far away. When my kids were little, I would hum the song, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” to ease worries and remind them of my unceasing love. It was obvious that my sweet friend needed some sunshine so I sent her sunflowers. It took me no time at all to find a bouquet and have it delivered the very next day, all thanks to Costco. It was a little reminder that sending sunshine is sometimes just what loved ones need. ❤︎
Taken by my oldest at sunrise at Mayflower Beach on Cape Cod
One of the most powerful ways I have connected with my children is asking for their forgiveness. Will you forgive me? These four little words have deepened our relationships, fostered greater respect and heightened awareness of the importance of acknowledging when we make mistakes. Teaching my children to say, “I’m sorry” when they were younger was a critical first step in developing empathy and taking ownership of wrongdoing. However, as they got older, I found that they were quick to respond but wondered if they really meant it. Asking for forgiveness allows them to pause and reflect on what actually happened. It also gives a voice to the one who was wronged. There have been times when I was asked to forgive and with an open heart I shared, “Of course, but I need a moment.” Forgiving shows unconditional love but it also validifies the feeling of disappointment and the acceptable need to calmly regroup and move on. This entry is brief…Will you forgive me?❤︎
I try to leave my kiddos notes to show them I’m thinking of them, loving them, praying for them. These notes go into lunch boxes, taped to bathroom mirrors and even hidden in suitcases. But to my surprise, I get notes too! A simple message to show they are thinking of me and it means way more than they could imagine. “Have a great day,” was secretly written on my office calendar by my eldest daughter, brightening my day and my heart immeasurably.
And I usually don’t think they’re listening to me, but they’re definitely watching.❤️
Several summers ago I herniated a disc in my back doing what I love… gardening. Since then, the joy of tending to my flowers ceased. The pain radiating down my leg turned off my desire to garden for a very long time. I watched as weeds overtook beds that I had carefully maintained, curated for years. I hired someone to weed a few times a season but it was not the same as my daily love of the flowers that brought much happiness. It was easier to not look at my yard, not spend time there, disregard it.
That changed this summer and I can’t tell you why. A stirring in me perhaps to move forward, yet back to what I love but have put to the side. It’s been hard, sweat-filled, dirt-covered work and I loved every minute. Yes, I garden differently now, carefully bending with my legs, short bursts of time, not feeling the pressure to do it all at once. Instead, I’ve started the regrowth of my garden, slowly, removing weeds one by one. It’s beginning to flourish right before my grateful eyes. Maybe I’m reblooming too.
“Joy is the realest reality, the fullest life, and joy is always given, never grasped. God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: joy.” 57
What a simple gift to give ourselves and our children: the power of giving thanks. With continual thanksgiving, joy flows, worries lessen, internal peace comforts. Feel joy, share joy, give thanks.
I think I was about 45 when I started thinking about wanting a change in my life. I had been a home mom for 17 years. Actually, I never had planned or wanted to stay home but our situation evolved into that being the best plan for our growing family. My children were getting older, college was on the horizon and my role was changing. I was restless. What did I want to do? It was a time of reflection, an honest assessment of my strengths and areas to build on, as well as trying to determine what jobs were realistic during school hours. The more women I talk with about this time in our lives, the more I find I’m not alone. I hate to coin this time in my life as a midlife crisis because it was not a catastrophe. I viewed it as a period where my mom duties at home were shifting allowing new doors to open. Time was available to develop an identity beyond mother. What were my interests in my forties? How did I want to spend my time? For me, I didn’t necessarily want to start a career. Instead, I wanted to serve. I wanted a purpose to fill my days outside of my home. It was a sense of fulfillment I was seeking quite possibly because my nurturing persona wasn’t needed in the same way anymore. It’s been a few years since I started on this journey of reevaluation and while I did go back to work as a reading interventionist in an inner-city Catholic school, my soul is partially fulfilled. What I’ve come to acknowledge is that this journey is changing all the time, right alongside the metamorphosis of my almost 50-year-old self as well as my almost empty nester family. I have to stop myself from trying to have it figured out. Serving in my role works now but I’m flexible in that tomorrow it may not. What fulfills my heart in this moment, may leave it searching for different meaning next month. I’m not scared anymore. I’m not even restless. And this is quite a gift that midlife has brought. I’m content to explore opportunities, change my mind, and simply be. When your path diverges, where will you go? ❤︎
the Essentialist Family 