Love is a verb

Husband & youngest daughter spending time together

This past Sunday at Church, our Deacon enlightened the children that love is a verb. Think about that for a minute…love is an action; it’s something you do, say, show. I couldn’t help but think what an important reminder for adults too. Imagine if we all showed affection more often, spoke kind words more than others, and did small acts of lovingkindness throughout our days. Treating love as an action to our children will encourage them to reciprocate it not only to the family but to those all around. Now that’s something to pass on…❤︎

5 Ways to Show Love to Your Kids

  • leave “Just Because I Love You” notes in lunchboxes, in sport bags, on bathroom mirrors, on pillows
  • give a hug & kiss, cuddle up, walk arm-in-arm,
  • say, “I love you!” “You mean SO much to me!” “I’m very lucky to have you!”
  • make their favorite meal, snack or dessert
  • plan one-on-one time together (neighborhood walk, bike ride, trip to the mall, ice cream outing, board game)

Productive Procrastination

I can always put off tasks to go to the beach!

Do you ever put off what really needs to be done with other simple, mindless or even pleasant activities? I have come to realize that I do it a lot when it’s time to exercise! I find myself putting in another load of laundry, or organizing the linen closet or sweeping the garage. I definitely get sidetracked but I recently learned that what I do has a name… productive procrastination. This doesn’t mean that because it has a name, it’s ok to put off exercising. In fact, it has had the opposite effect! Now I realize what I’m doing…color-coding our monthly calendar can wait until I strength train for 45 minutes! And guess what? The calendar still gets done and I feel stronger, physically and mentally! So, the next time you put off doing that thing that you don’t really like doing…..pause…. and think about how your productive procrastination isn’t that beneficial. Call yourself out on it and then get the real job done!!

The Love Langauge of After-School Snacks

Yummy banana apple bread

I recently took a pause from working out of the home and am back home-momming, as my kids call it. And do you know one of the first things they got excited about? After-school snacks! Unbeknownst to me, I hadn’t really planned ahead for food when we all got home in the afternoon. It was a free-for-all of grabbing something from the fridge or pantry. But I never thought too much about it because life at 3:30pm was a craze and survival mode said, “all left to their own food choices.” Apparently, my kids didn’t appreciate this. They had most looked forward to a homemade treat. I realized that while they did like creative alternatives to the bag of Smartfood or apple and peanut butter, it was more about the time we spent talking while eating the snack together. The grab-and-go option wasn’t as fulfilling emotionally since it didn’t make us slow down together and debrief about our days. Now that I’m home-momming 2.0, I can’t help but exercise my baking skills more often. It’s not the homemade options necessarily that show love, it’s the time and effort I make for a few moments in the afternoon, sitting at our kitchen island sharing, laughing, and comforting. However, homemade banana apple muffins warm out of the oven never hurt (see recipe below). ❤︎

I made 1 dozen muffins then used remaining batter for a bread
Here’s the recipe from the Sept 2024 Costco Connection magazine
(Instead of 2 bananas, I substituted one with apple sauce; I used whole what flour instead of all-purpose; I replaced 3 cups of apples with 3 whole apples.)

Midlife Reevaluation

2 Paths

I think I was about 45 when I started thinking about wanting a change in my life. I had been a home mom for 17 years. Actually, I never had planned or wanted to stay home but our situation evolved into that being the best plan for our growing family. My children were getting older, college was on the horizon and my role was changing. I was restless. What did I want to do? It was a time of reflection, an honest assessment of my strengths and areas to build on, as well as trying to determine what jobs were realistic during school hours. The more women I talk with about this time in our lives, the more I find I’m not alone. I hate to coin this time in my life as a midlife crisis because it was not a catastrophe. I viewed it as a period where my mom duties at home were shifting allowing new doors to open. Time was available to develop an identity beyond mother. What were my interests in my forties? How did I want to spend my time? For me, I didn’t necessarily want to start a career. Instead, I wanted to serve. I wanted a purpose to fill my days outside of my home. It was a sense of fulfillment I was seeking quite possibly because my nurturing persona wasn’t needed in the same way anymore. It’s been a few years since I started on this journey of reevaluation and while I did go back to work as a reading interventionist in an inner-city Catholic school, my soul is partially fulfilled. What I’ve come to acknowledge is that this journey is changing all the time, right alongside the metamorphosis of my almost 50-year-old self as well as my almost empty nester family. I have to stop myself from trying to have it figured out. Serving in my role works now but I’m flexible in that tomorrow it may not. What fulfills my heart in this moment, may leave it searching for different meaning next month. I’m not scared anymore. I’m not even restless. And this is quite a gift that midlife has brought. I’m content to explore opportunities, change my mind, and simply be. When your path diverges, where will you go? ❤︎

Homemaking: Purposeful Giving

Giving is innate for mothers. It’s essentially what we do and who we are. However, given the mundane nature of homemaking, women can become dissatisfied and unfulfilled, often forgetting what purpose there is in daily tasks. “What woman resents is not so much giving herself in pieces as giving herself purposelessly. What we fear is not so much that our energy may be leaking away through small outlets as that it may be going ‘down the drain'” (40).

Oxford defines homemaking as the creation of a home, especially as a pleasant place in which to live. What an honor to cultivate a loving, respectful, supportive environment for people you care most about. But it is hard work!! To be completely honest, I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. It was never how I envisioned my life, probably because I grew up with a single mother who worked full-time. We struggled financially when I was growing up and I knew putting myself through college and graduate school would provide a better life for myself and my family. Yet God had His own plans for me, which is usually how it goes. It took me years to embrace homemaking and realize the real purpose it holds, the breadth it encompasses, and my value within it.

“Purposeful giving is not as apt to deplete one’s resources; it belongs to that natural order of giving that seems to renew itself even in the act of depletion. The more one gives, the more one has to give” (41). With acknowledgment of usefulness, even without financial gain, mothers gain strength and replenish their sense of self. Homemaking is not a full-time job for all mothers, but we all need to see the immense worth in the care, time, and purposeful thought we heartfully dedicate to our families.

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Gift from the Sea, Anne Morrow Lindbergh