Is Valentine’s Day really a holiday? How did we get caught up in buying overpriced flowers, needless candy, and $10 cards? Don’t get me wrong, I do stop at my local chocolatier and purchase a small piece for my kids and hope I get one too!! And there is much I do appreciate about February 14th… It’s a reminder to let people know how you feel about them. Reach out to those friends you haven’t checked in with for a while, write teachers a note of gratitude or do something thoughtful for those you love. Simply hug a little tighter, say “I love you” a lot more, and thoughtfully show your love.
This year, I wrote qualities that I admire about each of my children on heart-shaped sticky notes and put them on their bedroom doors. When they started their days, I wanted them to be reminded of why they are loved and what makes them special! At the end of the day, the candy wrappers will be thrown in the garbage, flowers wilted away, but I hope that the words of love and value will remain in their hearts for much longer. ♥︎
One of my dearest childhood friends lives in SoJo (Southern New Jersey). It’s a wonderful community; one in which I lived for years. I speak to this friend quite often because we fill each other in on all of life’s moments: big and small, happy and sad, disappointing and surprising, mundane and extraordinary. When she answered my call the other morning, I knew in an instant that something in her voice was off. She was not ok. I listened to her share, comforting, and reassuring that I’m here even though so very far away. When my kids were little, I would hum the song, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” to ease worries and remind them of my unceasing love. It was obvious that my sweet friend needed some sunshine so I sent her sunflowers. It took me no time at all to find a bouquet and have it delivered the very next day, all thanks to Costco. It was a little reminder that sending sunshine is sometimes just what loved ones need. ❤︎
My dad has Alzheimer’s. For those of you who love someone suffering from this terrible disease, you understand how sad it is. He hasn’t known me or his grandchildren for years yet times I get a glimpse of familiarity; his hug a little tighter, his smile a tad broader. In my last visit to the facility he’s in I brought my dog. My dad loved Marlton and when he saw him, his eyes twinkled and he chuckled. Did he really remember my dog? I’ll never know. But what my heart feels is that Marlton brought my dad a moment of happiness and unconditional love and that’s all I can hope for these days. 💜
❤︎The series of entries in December will be short essays on simple gifts you can give your children each and every day. During this season of light, hope, and love, I will share my own stories to inspire reflection and possibly spark small changes in your family as we focus on what’s truly essential.
“Thank you!” Two small words that are always nice to hear. We are quick to say thanks to a worker at the supermarket or wait staff at a restaurant. We pass along a wave of thanks to our crossing guard in the morning and the receptionist on the phone after scheduling an appointment. But how many times a day do you give a sincere, “Thank you” to your loved ones?
Positive reinforcement goes a long way, especially with highlighting all the good things your children do. I am showering my kids with gratitude for picking up after themselves, helping around the house without being asked, and remembering they have appointments or sport meets and being prepared accordingly. I am grateful that at this point in parenthood, they have become incredibly independent. I want them to know that I am completely proud and thankful for their help and responsibility. And to be honest, it also frees up my mental capacity to focus on other tasks because they have things under control!
And the more I say, “Thank you!” the more they do!! While they’re overall polite children, they have been acknowledging the smaller things. “Thanks, mom for driving me to Launch.” “I appreciate the gas money, mom!” (Well, gas money these days isn’t small!!) Even better, they are appreciating one another even more and verbally say it. It makes my heart full when I hear the grateful comments between siblings, strengthening the bonds that will carry them into adulthood.
During Thanksgiving, we kept a gratitude pumpkin. It sat on our kitchen table and during dinner we wrote something we were grateful for. My initial goal was to write on it every night, but reality made it only possible 3 or 4 times per week. However, that still had a positive impact. My youngest would especially love reminding us it was time to share. Being grateful for things evolved into being more aware of our surroundings such as sunlight in cold, dark New England or small acts of kindness such as turning over someone’s laundry. Or something my husband wrote that we all may take for granted, “Family to come home to.”
Gratitude is simple, free and profoundly loving. The more you share how grateful you are for the unique individuals they are and what they do to contribute to your family, the more all of those attributes will flourish. This simple Christmas gift will continue to spread joy well after the season is over.
❤︎And please know that I am very grateful for all The Essentialist Family readers. You make time to read my blog, and make comments and reach out to me. You make my hobby worthwhile and fill a special place in my heart. Truly, thank you! ~Lauri
❤︎The series of entries in December will be short essays on simple gifts you can give your children each and every day. During this season of light, hope, and love, I will share my own stories to inspire reflection and possibly spark small changes in your family as we focus on what’s truly essential.
When my kids were younger, there was never a shortage of ideas of what they’d enjoy getting for Christmas. But as they’ve gotten older, they really don’t ask for toys or games. Most likely, it’s clothes they need or far-off requests such as another pet (I am holding firm with only 1 dog and 1 fish!). I actually find it harder to surprise them with ‘stuff.’ What I have found happening over the last several years, is that we are gifting experiences. We plan outings, concerts, and winter activities to do as a family and some have quickly become our new family traditions. Attending a local ballet conservatory’s The Nutcracker along with bundling up to view a park decked out with a light show have become yearly excursions. Day trips to nearby ski mountains during vacation is a highlight and we even ask relatives to contribute to these staycations. It’s doing things together that they remember much more than how many gifts are wrapped under the tree.
This season, I plan to start gifting early. I find that if we schedule ‘disconnecting’ from our electronic devices, we spend more quality time together. I’m embarrassed to say that at times we have to schedule this and make it a priority but it is true. Between online homework, texting friends, searching the web, blogging, and computer work for my husband, we are all constantly using technology. Yet when we make ourselves unplug, we reconnect face-to-face. We typically have dinner each night together, but after we clean up, it’s off in different directions. However, let’s linger a little longer this month…sit by the fire, play a quick card game or write cards to loved ones we won’t see. We can choose our favorite holiday songs and sing or dance along for a few moments more than we normally would. We can bake cookies with favorite recipes as well as try some new ones, go on a Christmas light tour of our neighborhood, or maybe try snowshoeing (if there’s snow). My hope is that we have more quality time together because life with my children is going by WAY TOO fast and I want to savor it all because it’s our moments together that mean the most. So, if you drive by our house, you may see me sledding down the hill alongside my kids, with not a blog post in sight!
the Essentialist Family 