(Robert Fulghum)
When you become a parent, you have little shadows. Inevitably, you have little ones following your every move and copying you. As your children get older, they may wander farther from your physical presence, but they are still always watching. With my teenagers, I have have found that I need to be more cognizant of my actions as they question what I ask of them instead of blindly following all that I say. For instance, ‘bad’ words have always been off-limits in our home. Now ‘bad’ words were not just curse words but included stupid, dumb and idiot. Now this wasn’t too hard to model because these words aren’t in our lexicon. I didn’t ban these from my children but then use them in my daily discourse. Instead, I consistently omitted them or replaced with another word (example: hate becomes intensely dislike).
It is not easy trying to make the right decision all the time. We tell our children how we want them to act, and what to say, but do we always do it ourselves? We are not perfect, nor should we be. Yet we can be more conscious. Think about the small moments throughout our days and they ways we carry ourselves, decisions we make, how we interact with others. This is what our children see and essentially how they learn to navigate their world. Maybe it’s time to pause a moment before responding to someone who cuts you off when driving or when an older person is struggling to put groceries in the trunk of her car. These are little moments that will shape your child’s understanding of what to do when they are in a similar situation.
Modeling educational standards is important too. Reading aloud to your child is encouraged by educators from essentially birth because it has such an incredibly positive effect on intellectual, academic, emotional, and social growth. As your children get older, promoting independent reading is just as crucial. But life gets busy and it’s hard to make sure it’s getting done. But what if as a family you have quiet reading time on school nights? From 8-8:30pm everyone grabs a book, magazine, or newspaper and simply reads! It can be done independently in separate bedrooms as a time to wind down before lights go out or collectively in the living room as family time. Either way, you are reading and they will see that you do value it because you are doing it!
We took our end of summer vacation to Hilton Head last week (which we absolutely LOVED!!). My older two know they should pack a book because to me, reading is a must on vacation! When we arrived at the airport, my kids quietly muttered that they forgot books. Not a big deal, I declared. They each have their own money that can use to purchase a new book at the airport bookstore. There was no complaining since they have come to understand that our family reads on vacation. They perused the selections and proudly purchased their new reading material. My oldest is not a reader by choice. She never has been and while I respect that it may not be her tendency, I value the importance of reading beyond academic books. She read her new book in 3 days and asked to go to the local bookstore to buy another one, which in fact turned into 2 new books because she couldn’t decide which she liked best. This was a first for her!! Would it have happened if my husband and I didn’t pack our own books and set the example of reading? All I know is, if you join us on vacation, pack a book!
the Essentialist Family 