Tag: positive parenting

Love is a verb

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Husband & youngest daughter spending time together

This past Sunday at Church, our Deacon enlightened the children that love is a verb. Think about that for a minute…love is an action; it’s something you do, say, show. I couldn’t help but think what an important reminder for adults too. Imagine if we all showed affection more often, spoke kind words more than others, and did small acts of lovingkindness throughout our days. Treating love as an action to our children will encourage them to reciprocate it not only to the family but to those all around. Now that’s something to pass on…❤︎

5 Ways to Show Love to Your Kids

  • leave “Just Because I Love You” notes in lunchboxes, in sport bags, on bathroom mirrors, on pillows
  • give a hug & kiss, cuddle up, walk arm-in-arm,
  • say, “I love you!” “You mean SO much to me!” “I’m very lucky to have you!”
  • make their favorite meal, snack or dessert
  • plan one-on-one time together (neighborhood walk, bike ride, trip to the mall, ice cream outing, board game)

Worrying a little less

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Rome, Italy

“Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself.” -Matthew 6:34

The phone rang in the early morning. Our daughter was studying in Rome and had fallen. She was being taken to the hospital. Ironically, my husband and I were planning to visit her that weekend so we headed to the airport unsure what we were flying into. Various scenarios played in my head; does she have surgery in Rome, do we fly her home, can she finish her semester? My steadfast, rational husband kept assuring me not to worry until we knew exactly what we were dealing with. Turns out, our daughter did need to have surgery back in the States and would not be able to finish her semester abroad. Her peace and positivity throughout this ordeal were admirable. Even in pain, she was able to make reasoned decisions, not lamenting over experiences lost, but appreciating the time she did have and focusing on what was in her control at each moment. She didn’t spend extra energy worrying about what could potentially happen next yet instead put her effort into the now.

It’s comforting to look at our growing children as they make important life lessons while showing their strength of character, all while worrying a little less.

Will You Forgive Me?

Posted in Children, Christian, Family, forgiveness, Happiness, Joy, Little Moments, motherhood, Orthodox Parenting, parentingTagged , , , , , Leave a comment
Taken by my oldest at sunrise at
Mayflower Beach on Cape Cod

One of the most powerful ways I have connected with my children is asking for their forgiveness. Will you forgive me? These four little words have deepened our relationships, fostered greater respect and heightened awareness of the importance of acknowledging when we make mistakes. Teaching my children to say, “I’m sorry” when they were younger was a critical first step in developing empathy and taking ownership of wrongdoing. However, as they got older, I found that they were quick to respond but wondered if they really meant it. Asking for forgiveness allows them to pause and reflect on what actually happened. It also gives a voice to the one who was wronged. There have been times when I was asked to forgive and with an open heart I shared, “Of course, but I need a moment.” Forgiving shows unconditional love but it also validifies the feeling of disappointment and the acceptable need to calmly regroup and move on. This entry is brief…Will you forgive me?❤︎

Everyday Inspiration in New England

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Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.

-Isaiah 26:4

Scituate, MA

Do you want me to listen or give advice?

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3 swans in Nantucket Sound

I like to talk things out. I’m an advice-giver. I am a problem-solver. I seek solutions. But sometimes my kids don’t appreciate these qualities. And they are exactly right! While these characteristics can be good, they are not always helpful. Raising teens is a whole new ball game in parenting. My role and strategies have evolved in this season of childrearing. One of the best tips I received was when my kids come to me about a troubling issue I ask, “Do you want me to listen or give advice?” This has worked wonders! In the past, I would tend to offer advice, since that’s my personality, and a teen would stomp off in frustration because that was not what she was looking for. While she didn’t know exactly what she wanted, it was not necessarily a cure. Listening has wound up being more helpful and what they need in many difficult situations. I undermined their coping skills by trying to fix the problems with my own perspective and my own solutions. I am not surprised to discover that they have amazing foresight, conflict resolution skills and simply good heads on their shoulders. What I find is they need an unbiased ear to listen, an unconditional hug to soothe, and a simple smile to assure them I’m always here. Sometimes my best advice is none at all.❤︎

Productive Procrastination

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I can always put off tasks to go to the beach!

Do you ever put off what really needs to be done with other simple, mindless or even pleasant activities? I have come to realize that I do it a lot when it’s time to exercise! I find myself putting in another load of laundry, or organizing the linen closet or sweeping the garage. I definitely get sidetracked but I recently learned that what I do has a name… productive procrastination. This doesn’t mean that because it has a name, it’s ok to put off exercising. In fact, it has had the opposite effect! Now I realize what I’m doing…color-coding our monthly calendar can wait until I strength train for 45 minutes! And guess what? The calendar still gets done and I feel stronger, physically and mentally! So, the next time you put off doing that thing that you don’t really like doing…..pause…. and think about how your productive procrastination isn’t that beneficial. Call yourself out on it and then get the real job done!!

The Love Langauge of After-School Snacks

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Yummy banana apple bread

I recently took a pause from working out of the home and am back home-momming, as my kids call it. And do you know one of the first things they got excited about? After-school snacks! Unbeknownst to me, I hadn’t really planned ahead for food when we all got home in the afternoon. It was a free-for-all of grabbing something from the fridge or pantry. But I never thought too much about it because life at 3:30pm was a craze and survival mode said, “all left to their own food choices.” Apparently, my kids didn’t appreciate this. They had most looked forward to a homemade treat. I realized that while they did like creative alternatives to the bag of Smartfood or apple and peanut butter, it was more about the time we spent talking while eating the snack together. The grab-and-go option wasn’t as fulfilling emotionally since it didn’t make us slow down together and debrief about our days. Now that I’m home-momming 2.0, I can’t help but exercise my baking skills more often. It’s not the homemade options necessarily that show love, it’s the time and effort I make for a few moments in the afternoon, sitting at our kitchen island sharing, laughing, and comforting. However, homemade banana apple muffins warm out of the oven never hurt (see recipe below). ❤︎

I made 1 dozen muffins then used remaining batter for a bread
Here’s the recipe from the Sept 2024 Costco Connection magazine
(Instead of 2 bananas, I substituted one with apple sauce; I used whole what flour instead of all-purpose; I replaced 3 cups of apples with 3 whole apples.)

Family Style Anniversary

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1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NIV)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

I’ve been married 22 years; together 30. Our anniversaries have become family celebrations simply because our marriage gave us a family. Typically, our kids make us dinner. They take such pride in spending time planning, setting a pretty table and cooking together to surprise us. We don’t exchange gifts, but sit around a table filled with love and laughter and simply count our blessings…the greatest gift I could have ever hoped for. ❤︎

Surprise notes… from my kids!

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What goes around comes around!

I try to leave my kiddos notes to show them I’m thinking of them, loving them, praying for them. These notes go into lunch boxes, taped to bathroom mirrors and even hidden in suitcases. But to my surprise, I get notes too! A simple message to show they are thinking of me and it means way more than they could imagine. “Have a great day,” was secretly written on my office calendar by my eldest daughter, brightening my day and my heart immeasurably.

And I usually don’t think they’re listening to me, but they’re definitely watching.❤️

Summer Adventures Strengthen Families

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Summer beckons bucket lists of activities that get pushed aside during the busy school year. It’s a time to plan adventures near and far to simply spend time together. Backyard adventures could be making different types of s’mores (PBcups are my favorite) to constructing a zip line to turning on the sprinklers on a hot day and running through them.

Local adventures turn into visiting as many ice cream shops in a 20 mile radius, keeping a running list of local trails hiked or taking a guided history tour in your own town.

A pillar of strong families is spending quality time together.

Get curious together &

Adventure On…

Exploring newly discovered, Spohr Garden in nearby Falmouth, Ma

The sweetness of a cookie jar

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One of my most beloved heirlooms is my mother’s Fanny Farmer cookbook! My go-to, never disappoint assortment of recipes sure to delight all! Summer vacation allows time to get back to baking much more frequently than the school year. Out comes our cookie jar and smiles abound knowing that a sweet treat awaits.

Today’s recipe: Cape Cod Oatmeal Cookies! Yum! What makes them different… molasses! It’s totally worth buying a container even though you don’t use much. These may quickly replace your traditional oatmeal cookie forever!

Cape Cod Oatmeal Cookies

Preheat oven 350

Sift:

1 1/2c flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1 1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp salt

Stir in:

1 beaten egg

1c sugar

1/2c melted butter

1tbs molasses

1/4c whole milk

1 3/4c oatmeal

1c raisins and/or walnuts

Place on greased cookie sheet by teaspoonfuls and bake until edges are lightly brown (approx 12 mins).

Now you can fill that cookie jar and watch the smiles grow. Enjoy!

Daily Thanksgiving

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“Joy is the realest reality, the fullest life, and joy is always given, never grasped. God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: joy.” 57

What a simple gift to give ourselves and our children: the power of giving thanks. With continual thanksgiving, joy flows, worries lessen, internal peace comforts. Feel joy, share joy, give thanks.

Surrounded by Scripture

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I recently discovered artist and inspirational author, Emily Lex. My mother let me borrow her copy of Emily’s book, Freely and Lightly. I read it in a few days, not wanting to put it down, soaking up all the honest feelings, reflections, wisdom, and heart. Her choice of Scriptures resonated with me along with the simple, everyday objects she paints. I ordered her simple and beautiful everyday Truth for Today cards and display them around our home for my family to read, remember, and reflect on. Their honest beauty of words and art fill our home with His presence even in the most unexpected places.

As you can imagine, I bought my own copy of Freely and Lightly!

*Check out Emily’s site to add inspiration to your days.

https://emilylex.com/

Team F💜mily!

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These rules hang in our home as a reminder of how we want to be as a family.

Our family is a team! We work together, help one another, challenge, support, coach, comfort and want to be the best we can be.

Our team mindset considers our family as a collective unit, shaping our decisions, plans, words, and actions. Doing household chores becomes working together to make our home the place we love. Helping unload groceries becomes many hands make light work. Reminders are simply, “Come help!” Because that’s what teammates do!

We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders and our team is strengthened by this commitment to one another. So celebrate your one and only amazing family and have fun together… Go f💜mily!

Sprinkling Beauty

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I enjoy adding flowers to spaces in our home. Our powder room gets a ton of use since it’s right off our kitchen. Here’s a bloom from my garden, which adds a simple delight for any visitor. It’s these little things that my kids notice and enjoy…it’s what makes our house a home.