I don’t do it enough. When I do, I wish I did it more. It’s always fun and filled with laughter or sometimes tears. But it feels so good! Going out with the ladies for lunch is one thing I aim to do more this season. Nothing fancy, but a salad in an outside cafe. Good conversation overflows, life problems attempt to be solved, much-liked podcasts are shared, heartfelt stories about loved ones are honestly put on the table for all to support. We share dilemmas faced with aging family as caregiving shifts from the young to the old. We shed light on our faith, seeking God to continue to guide us and continuously grateful for our blessings. We sit for hours as time flies by, my heart overflowing for these women who grace my life. Ordinary moments that are often overlooked, and not done enough. No particular reason or specific milestone celebration causing us to schedule a lunch together yet our friendship should be the best reason of all! ❤︎
Yes, life has big moments that are to be celebrated. But there are many, many little moments in between. And somehow we forget that these little ones are really important. Cheers to pausing and noting all the little things in our lives that are so very essential to our happiness…
✹chosen friends that become family
✹backyard bbqs
✹a sunny day
✹impromptu cornhole tournament
✹dance party in the kitchen bc a good song came on
✹a beach day!
✹empty day on the calendar
✹long weekend
✹long-overdue catch-up phone call
✹family walk
✹unexpected visit
✹good book
✹new recipe that becomes a family favorite
✹surprise flower delivery
✹tiring workout
✹s’mores by the outdoor fireplace to end the night
Last week, my son was home from school, resting on the couch watching anime. Several times I had wanted to comment that I thought he was wasting his brain watching cartoons but I went along with my tasks keeping my thoughts to myself. Finally, I came up with a question that wasn’t too critical or judgemental as I didn’t want him to necessarily be offended over something I didn’t understand.
“What draws you to this type of show?” I inquired.
“Mom, you would LOVE this show! It will make you cry!!” He enthusiastically shared.
Wow! That was not the response I was expecting…not at all. He went on to explain how this show, Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End, was about enjoying one’s journey through life when looking back; appreciating what you have and what each day has to offer; remembering that sometimes the most beautiful memories are the most simple (like a field of flowers); not taking people for granted.
I sat there stunned that my 18 year old spoke so eloquently and philosophically about a show I was quick to bawk at. Humbly, I sat on the couch next to him and watched. He was right…once I got past not comparing anime to a traditional cartoon but value it for a different genre, I moved past criticism and toward appreciation. I did enjoy the life lessons, excitedly anticipated the next scenes, and got teary eyed as I was ashamed it took me this long to lean into his world. His knee-jerk response was how he knew I would love it so why did I not open the door sooner? My son knows me very well and I should know his tastes in shows would reflect him as well. I can’t say anime is my new favorite thing, but when my boy is watching, I will be sure to get comfy alongside.
Is Valentine’s Day really a holiday? How did we get caught up in buying overpriced flowers, needless candy, and $10 cards? Don’t get me wrong, I do stop at my local chocolatier and purchase a small piece for my kids and hope I get one too!! And there is much I do appreciate about February 14th… It’s a reminder to let people know how you feel about them. Reach out to those friends you haven’t checked in with for a while, write teachers a note of gratitude or do something thoughtful for those you love. Simply hug a little tighter, say “I love you” a lot more, and thoughtfully show your love.
This year, I wrote qualities that I admire about each of my children on heart-shaped sticky notes and put them on their bedroom doors. When they started their days, I wanted them to be reminded of why they are loved and what makes them special! At the end of the day, the candy wrappers will be thrown in the garbage, flowers wilted away, but I hope that the words of love and value will remain in their hearts for much longer. ♥︎
Over February vacation, I took two of my kids down to Florida to visit family as a last-minute trip. Truth be told, my Uncle is not doing well and I wanted to be sure we could spend a little time with him. On the flight down, my son was sitting in the row in front of me next to an older gentleman. They struck up conversation about this man’s time in the army and subsequent defense work for 56 years. At the end of the flight, the gentleman asked my son if he could retrieve his bags from the overhead compartment. My son proceeded to offer to carry the bags off the plane as it was obvious that walking was difficult. It took a few moments for the gentleman to get himself out of the row and wobble out of the aircraft. There were several grunts and sighs from the people behind us, suggesting it was taking way too long for their liking. The gentleman even responded that he was sorry and I commented that he did not need to rush and could take his time. (Note here that I had just started reading, The Let Them Theory, by Mel Robbins, on this very flight and I was going to Let Them complain, moan, and roll their eyes and I was not going to rush this older man one little bit.).
Once we got this man settled into his wheelchair with his belongings, we bid farewell with smiles and a warm feeling of simply helping someone. I only hope I am in good health when I’m his age and can travel, “for business” as he was still doing. A fellow passenger stopped me and said I should be proud of my son as he saw the entire situation unfold. “He gave me faith that there’s still kindness in this world.” I was actually a tad taken aback. What had my son done? Get bags down from the overhead? Help lug bags off a plane? Be a friendly face to a man sitting next to him? Be patient?
Have we become a society in which normal graces and common manners are exceptions? Is being helpful to strangers rare? Is friendliness now seen as an act of kindness? How did this happen?????
Yes, I am proud of my son. Not necessarily for that particular moment but for all the moments that led up to this where it has become part of his being that he is helpful, kind, considerate, patient, selfless, and loving. He did not have to think in this moment whether or not to assist an older man; he simply acted on instinct, and acted with love. As we raise our children or even reflect on our own actions as adults, let’s remember that simple manners do go a long way and kindness should be a way of simply being. ♥︎
“You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy.” -Psalm 16:11
How many times have you questioned what you are doing in life? Career? Relationships?
The other morning, I was walking with a friend and mentioned how I felt I wasn’t fully content. I felt I was being guided to do something new…again! She simply shrugged and said, “Welcome to life!” Many of us have this feeling of evolution or re-evaluation and it may not be part of our own ‘plan.’ But then I realize, this life isn’t my plan alone…God has a plan for my unique journey, more miraculous than I can imagine. So on the days life is tougher than I’d like, I remember it’s all part of His path for me. This calms me, focuses my worried brain, and helps me embrace the phase I’m in knowing it’s all taken care of. My heart can be happy because a road has already been paved and I can enjoy the ride.
One of my dearest childhood friends lives in SoJo (Southern New Jersey). It’s a wonderful community; one in which I lived for years. I speak to this friend quite often because we fill each other in on all of life’s moments: big and small, happy and sad, disappointing and surprising, mundane and extraordinary. When she answered my call the other morning, I knew in an instant that something in her voice was off. She was not ok. I listened to her share, comforting, and reassuring that I’m here even though so very far away. When my kids were little, I would hum the song, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” to ease worries and remind them of my unceasing love. It was obvious that my sweet friend needed some sunshine so I sent her sunflowers. It took me no time at all to find a bouquet and have it delivered the very next day, all thanks to Costco. It was a little reminder that sending sunshine is sometimes just what loved ones need. ❤︎
I recently took a pause from working out of the home and am back home-momming, as my kids call it. And do you know one of the first things they got excited about? After-school snacks! Unbeknownst to me, I hadn’t really planned ahead for food when we all got home in the afternoon. It was a free-for-all of grabbing something from the fridge or pantry. But I never thought too much about it because life at 3:30pm was a craze and survival mode said, “all left to their own food choices.” Apparently, my kids didn’t appreciate this. They had most looked forward to a homemade treat. I realized that while they did like creative alternatives to the bag of Smartfood or apple and peanut butter, it was more about the time we spent talking while eating the snack together. The grab-and-go option wasn’t as fulfilling emotionally since it didn’t make us slow down together and debrief about our days. Now that I’m home-momming 2.0, I can’t help but exercise my baking skills more often. It’s not the homemade options necessarily that show love, it’s the time and effort I make for a few moments in the afternoon, sitting at our kitchen island sharing, laughing, and comforting. However, homemade banana apple muffins warm out of the oven never hurt (see recipe below). ❤︎
I made 1 dozen muffins then used remaining batter for a breadHere’s the recipe from the Sept 2024 Costco Connection magazine (Instead of 2 bananas, I substituted one with apple sauce; I used whole what flour instead of all-purpose; I replaced 3 cups of apples with 3 whole apples.)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
I’ve been married 22 years; together 30. Our anniversaries have become family celebrations simply because our marriage gave us a family. Typically, our kids make us dinner. They take such pride in spending time planning, setting a pretty table and cooking together to surprise us. We don’t exchange gifts, but sit around a table filled with love and laughter and simply count our blessings…the greatest gift I could have ever hoped for. ❤︎
“Joy is the realest reality, the fullest life, and joy is always given, never grasped. God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: joy.” 57
What a simple gift to give ourselves and our children: the power of giving thanks. With continual thanksgiving, joy flows, worries lessen, internal peace comforts. Feel joy, share joy, give thanks.
I enjoy adding flowers to spaces in our home. Our powder room gets a ton of use since it’s right off our kitchen. Here’s a bloom from my garden, which adds a simple delight for any visitor. It’s these little things that my kids notice and enjoy…it’s what makes our house a home.
My youngest recently told me I’m a “fun mom!” When I inquired what makes me fun, she said because I play!! That’s what our kids want and need from us… connection, sincere interest, engagement. Like all mothers, it seems I always have a list of things to do, but her soft voice echos in my head to make sure I leave time to play.❤️
My dad has Alzheimer’s. For those of you who love someone suffering from this terrible disease, you understand how sad it is. He hasn’t known me or his grandchildren for years yet times I get a glimpse of familiarity; his hug a little tighter, his smile a tad broader. In my last visit to the facility he’s in I brought my dog. My dad loved Marlton and when he saw him, his eyes twinkled and he chuckled. Did he really remember my dog? I’ll never know. But what my heart feels is that Marlton brought my dad a moment of happiness and unconditional love and that’s all I can hope for these days. 💜
My friend, Lori, teasingly points out all the times I feel moments are, “Perfect.” How’s the weather? Perfect. How’s your coffee? Perfect. How’s vacation? Perfect. I didn’t realize how often I said it but then I thought about what it meant. The Oxford dictionary defines perfect as ‘having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.’ So when I am sitting on a beach, under an umbrella, watching my kids play in the water, the moment to me is perfect. Each of our own criteria for perfection differs so my ideal beach day may be a flop to you.
I realized I’m also quick to capture a perfect moment; not necessarily a whole day but a little snapshot, in the moment kind of way. I’ve come to appreciate those little things that truly are most important…when my husband grabs hold of my hand as we walk the dog through our neighborhood- prefect. When I see my youngest crocheting alongside her nana- prefect.
So, is my life perfect? Absolutely not!! I’m perfectly imperfect right alongside my perfectly imperfect children, husband, and dog. But all our perfectly imperfect moments make me cherish this one and unique life that has been given to me. And that is simply perfect!❤️
the Essentialist Family 