“My child doesn’t sit still! My child can’t focus! My child won’t eat anything I make for dinner! My child doesn’t read on grade level! My child throws tantrums! My child refuses to do chores! My child doesn’t pick up his things! My child is not appreciative! My child”….the list goes on and on. There are many, many things we feel our kids don’t do, but there are many more things that they can do. As a Parent Educator, I teach parents to stop placing the blame on their children but instead change their own mindest, expectations, routines, language and consequences. The results can be quite amazing!
It’s hard to accept responsibility when things don’t go as planned. Parenting is one of the hardest areas to acknowledge difficulties because parenting is just plain HARD! And it doesn’t always get easier the longer you do it! Finding support and encouragement is key in being the best parent you can be. Learning new techniques and strategies while seeking advice are essential in the parenting handbook. Take responsibility in the fact that you won’t know everything and won’t do everything well. Utilize resources, devote time to learning, and humbly acknowledge when you need help. This is what makes good parents great!
Stop blaming your kids for not focusing on homework. Teach them to have a snack before getting down to work, having supplies on hand, using a timer to chunk work into 15-minute increments buffered with a 5 minute break, stand while completing work, or using a fidget tool to keep fingers busy.
Stop blaming your kids for not being thoughtful. Teach them to say, “Thank you” when you serve them dinner, have them bring a neighbor’s trash cans off the street to their garage, bake a treat for a senior at your Church, write a thank you note to the crossing guard at school, leave flowers for a sibling on their nightstand.
Stop blaming your kids for watching too much TV. Teach them to shut off TV during school days and play outside, help cook dinner, build with legos, read or simply be bored!
While we can be quick to point out faults in our children, pause to see how it may be possible for you to do a better job teaching them the necessary skills so they are more adept. Teaching parents effective strategies for their parenting toolkit empowers them and their children thus strengthening their families and making life simply happier.
the Essentialist Family 